Thursday, July 16, 2009

Infertility

I am not infertile but I can only imagine the pain with being so. I found this post on a woman's blog who is infertile. To read the whole article click here. I found this to be very insightful. If you are able to conceive I don't think you or I, can even imagine what it would be like to not be able to. This woman put into sad words the pain she experiences. I think it gives keen insight into what not to say!

Fertility issues are so many bits of pain:

*not sharing with family members about your health, for fear of getting their hopes up and being a disappointment to everyone.

*being called selfish for having been married "too long" to not yet have children.

*being asked embarrassing questions about your love life and receiving "tips" from those who feel they have special insight into why a child has not yet been conceived.

*the stab in your heart upon receiving a monthly update email from Enfamil, for your "five month old baby" --the one you miscarried last year.

*being berated for the selfishness of having a "lonely only" or being called a "hobbyist mother" as if these unfortunate circumstances were your choice or doing.

*not sharing about a pregnancy until baby is past the point of viability, as you've already learn that embarrassing lesson last time around.

*being constantly asked about when you will make someone a grandparent for the first time or when a sibling will be joining the family, as if you are somehow causing the problem and have control over the situation.

*crying every month as yet another Big Fat NEGATIVE result comes on a pregnancy test, the 36th you've received in three years time.

*having "radar" & zeroing in on every pregnant woman when you are out & about or having tunnel vision towards every baby who would have been old as your should be right now.

*feeling like a failure as a wife, as a daughter, as a sister, as a mother, for not producing the baby that would add another generation to the family and/or a sibling for the child/ren you already have.

*sobbing on the bathroom floor at a friends baby shower because shes pregnant on the first try after you've tried everything and have yet to become a mom.

*being told you'll never conceive and knowing you can never afford to adopt, all while millions of babies are unloved this very evening.

*feeling nasty self righteousness and great devastation and anger when the news reports of someone who drowned their baby in the toilet or you think of the millions of baby's aborted each year, wondering why God couldn't give one of these babies to you, for you'd love him/her with all your heart and would never kill such a precious gift.

*another anniversary with a "fun" childless vacation when you want nothing more than a little newborn's cry waking you up every morning, before the crack of dawn.

*feeling as if you are the barren sister in a fertility cult, as everyone around you is expecting or just had a baby.

*dreading "the question" when it comes up everywhere, even during small talk with a stranger in a doctors waiting room.