What Do You Let Steal Your Identity?

We recently had a ladies conference at our church and this is a transcript of my message! The theme was: Identity In Christ. To listen to my message click here. 

What titles or identities do you crave? Do you want to be known as a woman who has self-control? Is smart? Thin? Pretty? How about an excellent homemaker? Independent? Popular? Funny? We all crave different identities.

My hope is that through this post the list of identities you crave will dramatically change.
Our sense of identity will determine so much about our lives. It determines if we feel a sense of belonging or a sense of loneliness. A sense of purpose or a sense of uselessness. A sense of hope or a sense of despair. Who we think we are determines so much and it is vital that as Christian women we have a Christ centered, biblical perspective of our identity.

(2 Cor. 5:17) "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."

(1 Peter 2:9) "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." 

( Gal. 2:20) "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

So just looking at those 3 verses alone I was able to gather 9 ways that God identifies us as believers.  I have 9 blanks for you on your insert to fill in.

He says we are

#1. A new creation
#2. Chosen
#3. Royalty
#4. Holy
#5. His own possession
#6. Called out of darkness
#7. Crucified with Christ
#8. Living by faith
#9. Loved

Look over that short list. It should make us all very thankful! Looking over those nine identities should bring us all a sense of joy and gratitude for who God says we truly are in Him! If you are in Christ, these are just some of the marvelous ways God describes you. 

The world on the other hand, wants to rob us of these beautiful descriptions! The world wants to give us counterfeit identities that make us feel important at first but then later only leave us more unsatisfied and longing for more. In other words, the world and your enemy want to practice identity theft on you. Let me read this secular description of identity theft: “identity theft is the deliberate use of someone else's identity, usually as a method to gain a financial advantage or other benefits in the other person's name. The person whose identity has been assumed may suffer adverse consequences. Identity theft occurs when someone uses another's personally identifying information without their permission.”

Now let's look at this from a spiritual perspective: Spiritual identity theft is the deliberate use of a Christian’s identity to zap them of all joy and peace that they are supposed to have in Christ. This causes great pain and confusion in the Christian’s life. They wander around often unaware that their identity has even been stolen and unaware that in fact they often gave it away. Spiritual identity theft is all too common in a Christian woman’s life.
I have provided for you six warnings, that if you heed them, they will help you to fight against spiritual identity theft. Warning number 1: Don’t let your past take your identity. So many Christian women feel bound to their past. They play the same records over and over again. “I was abused. I was a child of a drunk. I was the daughter of a single mom. I had an abortion. I did drugs.” Whatever their pasts are they meditate on them and are unable to move past them because in a sense they are claiming their pasts as their identity rather than who Christ says they are. They are allowing their past to commit identity theft. Picture a butterfly flying around and all day it’s sad because it USED to be a caterpillar. Everyday his little butterfly friends are telling him: “Yeah, but you’re not a caterpillar anymore! We’ve been changed! We’re new creations now! We are something completely different. Rejoice! that old has gone behold the new has come!” And then imagine he ignores his friends and continues to mope around not experiencing the joy he is meant to have as a butterfly because he repeats over and over, “I used to be a caterpillar. I used to be a caterpillar. It was so terrible when I was a caterpillar.” Now wouldn’t you feel sorry for that butterfly? Wouldn’t you think what in the world butterfly?! get it through your head! You’re not a caterpillar anymore! In fact you are something totally new and different.” Now I know that is a super cheesy analogy but I like it anyway. Too many of us are butterflies mourning over the caterpillar that we once were. Many of us who God declares are new creations are spending our whole life moping and mourning because of what we WERE or because of what WAS. If our identity in Christ were based on our pasts we would all have some lame identities. But praise God! Our identity in Christ is based on Him and not our pasts. Your identity in Christ is based on Him and not you. The same goes for His love for you. His love for you is never based on you. His love for you is based on who you are IN HIM. His love for you is based on what He accomplished not on what you accomplished or are accomplishing. If you struggle with letting your past become your identity I would recommend 2 Cor. 5:17 become one of your memory verses that you can say outloud and use to help take your thoughts captive, reminding yourself that it doesn’t matter who you say you are, it matters who your Creator says you are, and He says, if you are in Him you are a new creation.

Warning number 2: Don’t let your weaknesses steal your identity. Ok, but you don’t really know me Katie. I sure don’t feel like a new creation. I hate myself. I hate my weaknesses. My struggles. I never change. Does that sound familiar? We all hate our struggles and weaknesses. Turn with me to 2 Cor. 12:7. We will read through verse 10.

“So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Let’s break this down a bit. Verse 7 says: "To keep me from becoming conceited.” Believe it or not we are all capable of becoming conceited. Praise God for our weaknesses because they remind us we have nothing to be conceited about. Praise God that He knew we would become so puffed up with ourselves if we did not have weaknesses or struggles to remind us of how fragile and helpless we really are! This is why Paul can say he will boast all the more gladly in his weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon him instead of the power of Paul. We all need the power of Christ to rest upon us, not the power of self.

Imagine you had no weaknesses or struggles. Your power would be found in yourself. Instead of letting your struggles and weaknesses become your identity, make them propel you into worship of Christ. Recognize that they are able to turn you away from yourself and toward Him. Never let your weaknesses do the opposite and turn you away from Christ while focusing on yourself. You are not defined by your weaknesses and struggles. They are simply there to remind you that when you are weak you are strong because your weaknesses force you to draw from His strength.

I will close this warning with a quote from the gospel coalition: “The bedrock of our rejoicing isn’t the goodness of our day, but the goodness of our God. It’s him strengthening me that allows me to abound. Not me being strong enough to no longer need him.”  Warning number 3: Don’t let your strengths take your identity. This one is tricky isn’t it? What are you praised for in your life? Your weaknesses? Do people go on and on about how much you gossip or how much you interrupt and never stop talking or what a glutton you are or your anger problem. No. People praise you about your strengths. This makes it very easy unfortunately to have our strengths become our identity. This makes it very easy to cling to our strengths and make them our all and all. Whatever strengths you have they are strictly there to glorify Him and not you. Remember when I read from 1 Peter 2: 9 “ a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him”? Looks like our strengths don’t even belong to us. Looks like they’re His. Looks like they are only there to help proclaim His excellencies, not ours.

Whatever strengths you do have they are meant to build up His reputation and not yours. Don’t let your strengths steal your identity. Instead remind yourself that you are not your own possession and your strengths are meant to point others to Him and not you.
Warning number 4: Don’t let comparison steal your identity. Comparison is often the thief of joy isn’t it? I do want to say at the onset of this lesson though that sometimes I think comparison can actually be used to push us in the right direction and not the wrong direction. I don’t think it is ALWAYS a bad thing. Let me explain, there have been some very godly women I have compared myself to and it has pushed me toward Christ and away from myself. It has actually increased my security in my identity in Christ. It has compelled me to want to be more like them because it seems they have a better grasp on who they are in Christ than I do. That form of comparison though is not what I am warning you against.

Comparison in most womens’ lives destroys their identity. God has a specific plan and purpose for YOUR LIFE that looks different from His plan for others’ lives.

One of my heros of the faith is Joni Earekson Tada. That woman has chosen to not compare her life to others. Joni was in a diving accident as a teenager and has been paralyzed from the neck down ever since. She is 66 years old now. So for about 50 years I am sure this dear woman has had to battle the temptation of comparison. I am sure comparison has wanted to steal her identity numerous times. She has chosen HOWEVER to find her identity in Christ alone and thereby not worry about how God has chosen to plan other people’s lives. She doesn’t spend time comparing instead she spends time giving praise to her Maker.

Listen to these beautiful words from her. “The nice thing is God understands the art of pruning. In John 15:2 it says that the Lord "cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will bear even more fruit.” Sometimes God seems merciless with His pruning shears and, like Job, we often feel like the Lord's sharp shears have clipped our lives so close to the root that we don't see how anything could ever grow back. I should know this. I broke my neck when I was just a teenager and, believe me, dealing with quadriplegia at so young an age was very hard. God really clipped my life close to the root. But God's purpose in pruning us back couldn't be more virtuous, more noble, for if we are bearing fruit in His kingdom, He'll prune us so that we can be even more fruitful. God is an expert with His shears and He is looking for believers who are happy to yield to the cutting edge of those clippers, and when you do, hope returns. New life pokes up from the stump and joy reappears.”

Praise God for this woman’s submissive heart to Him and His pruning. We cannot be living in the detrimental practice of comparison and submitted to God at the same time. We can’t be so consumed with how the Lord chooses to prune or not prune others’ lives and have confidence in His plans for our lives. We cannot be submitted to His pruning and whining that we don’t have what others have. When we choose to avoid comparing our lot with the lot that God has given others we will find the vibrant confidence Joni speaks of. Our identity in Christ can never be found if we are living a life filled with comparison. Warning number 5: Don’t let YOUR plans for your life steal your identity: We all have BIG plans for ourselves don’t we? In five years my life will look like…. Fill in the blank. In 20 years I will be….. When I get married to the love my life we will have this many kids and live on property and grow our own food and have no debt and NEVER fight and my husband and I will partner together to train up our children in the way they should go and they will DEFINITELY go that way and everyone will talk well of us and want to be us and…

OH. MY!! But we do this. We wrap our identity up in this make believe world we have created for ourselves or this world we think we so justly deserve and then when God doesn’t deliver we are very disappointed and often angry. We have all these dreams and plans and forget that His plan is probably WAAAAAY different.

Do you think Joni had a different plan for her life?

Turn with me to Luke Chapter 1 starting in verse 38 we read Mary’s response to the angel when he tells her that she will be a pregnant virgin. “Then Mary said. Um no sorry Gabe, that’s definitely not in my plans. Do you have any idea what that means for me? Joseph and I aren’t even married yet! This is going to ruin my reputation and his and forever change my plans for my life! Thanks but no thanks.” No that’s not what she said. She said: “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.”

Now let me ask you, do you think Mary was ready for this? Do you think it was ever in her plans or dreams to become a pregnant virgin and be mocked and ridiculed by many? Do you think she maybe had other plans for her and Joseph? Do you think she was afraid? And yet, look at her response how does she refer to herself?: “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.” I love how the NLT puts it: ““I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” THIS is the response we should have to our Lord when He takes OUR plans for our lives and changes them… even dramatically… Mary’s identity never changed, she always saw herself as a maidservant of the Lord. She knew she was not her own. She understood her identity.

Is that your identity? Do you identify yourself as His maidservant ready to do His will? When we find our identity in Him rather than in all our dreams and plans and the way we THINK things should be we will truly find our identity in Christ AND we will live a life filled with joy and thanksgiving rather than bitterness and ingratitude.

Here is a wonderful quote by John Piper: “Occasionally weep deeply over the life you had hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Then wash your face. Trust God. And embrace the life you have.” I particularly love that last part! Embrace the life you have!

Too many of us are having an identity crisis because we spend so much time trying to identify with a life that isn’t ours… that we may have hoped for but that isn’t reality… embrace reality. Be like Joni Earkson Tada. Or Helen Keller who was born with the ability to see and hear and at 19 months old, she contracted an illness and it left her both deaf and blind. She lived a lovely life not consumed with how she wished her life would be and here is one of my favorite quotes of hers: “So much has been given to me, I have no time to ponder over that which has been denied.” Are you doing that? Are you so wrapped up in what has been give to you that you have no time to ponder what has been denied? Don’t let YOUR plans for your life steal your identity. Embrace His plans. Embrace the life you have.

Warning number 6: Don’t let your emotions take your identity. This is definitely one I think we can all relate to. Our emotions and feelings often have way too much sway over who we think we are. We let our feelings determine our identity instead the Word of God determining our identity. Listen to this quote by DG Hart: We should understand that the subjective depends on the objective. Right emotions depend on, and derive from, sound doctrine.” Right emotions depend on and derive from sound doctrine. If you know who you are in Christ, if your doctrine is correct on your identity you can use it to influence and direct your feelings and emotions rather than having your identity rest on how you are feeling. Here’s what some may struggle with though in regards to this. Many of you have been Christians for a long time. You have known you are loved, holy, chosen, called out of darkness, a new creation but rather than having those truths run your life you let emotions run your life. Rather than taking that head knowledge and living out daily as truth you store it away and say “yeah, I know all of that.” But you don’t. Your life proves you don’t really know that.  

When our feelings determine who we are we are sure to find ourselves in a mess. We are sure to have a wrong view of our identity in Christ. Elisabeth Elliot said: “We float on feelings that will carry us where we were never meant to go; we bubble with emotional experiences that we often take for spiritual ones; and we are puffed up with pride. Instead of seriousness, there is foolishness. Instead of gravity, flippancy. Sentimentality takes the place of theology. Our reference point will never serve to keep our feet on solid rock, for our reference point, until we answer God’s call, is merely ourselves.”

Don’t let your emotions be your reference point. Don’t let them steal your identity. One of my favorite little sermon clips on youtube is of a wonderful preacher named Allistair Begg. He shared how he went to a different church on vacation one time and when the worship leader got up before the church he shouted: “How do you FEEL?!” Allistair said to himself: “How do I feel?! I feel crummy! Don’t ask me that question! Ask me what I know! Ask me what I know about God! Ask me what I know about His Word!”

We must quit asking ourselves how we feel and start asking ourselves "what do I know?” This is why the Word of God is so paramount in our lives. Reading it daily and listening to it daily, will continue to strengthen your identity in Christ and diminish your identity in how you are feeling.

The enemy wants to commit identity theft on you and have it wrapped up in your past, your weaknesses, your strengths, your propensity to compare, the big plans you have your life and your emotions. But God wants your identity wrapped up in who He says you are.

Jen Wilkin said: “We are what we behold.” Do you believe that? If you behold His Word daily, not just in reading but in your heart and mind, you will become more of what it describes you to be. If however you behold the lies that circulate in this world through media or even the lies of your own thoughts and feelings, you will buy into those lies more and more. Behold your God. Behold who He says you are. Don’t look at your circumstances. Stop looking at what you wish would have been or what might be. Stop looking at others. Stop looking at how strong you are or how weak you are. Stop looking at your past and how you are feeling. Look at Him. Behold Him. Remember who He is. He is the Alpha and OMega. The King of kings. He is your Creator. The Almighty One who will never leave you or forsake you. He is the Author of life and Sovereign over all things. He is good. All knowing. He is love. It is in this God that you are to find your true identity.

Hebrews 12:1-2 “let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, llooking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Look to Him. Read His Word to find out who He is and you will find out who you really are.

Why We Don't Live Within Our Means

We don't live within our means. Let me explain. We could be spending a lot more money than we do. Our means, the amount in our savings, says: "go ahead and live a little" but in my husband's wisdom he admonishes us as a family to save more rather than spend more. Future generations will reap what we sow.  

We have plenty of money in savings because we:

1. Don't go out to eat more than once a month and we pretty much never go out to coffee.
2. Plan very few trips. In fact, we hardly leave our house. I had been looking for a particular sippy cup for weeks. I went out to the van and saw it was there! Guess it had been a while since we had gone anywhere :) Going places usually means spending money even if it's only on gas. I must admit that we have more freedom in this because we live downtown, next to our church and next to family. 
3. Rarely buy new clothing.
4.Only get one nice gift for the kids on their birthday. (What a waste so many toys can be!)
5.Paid off our mortgage! Talk about making it easier to save money! 
6.We really try not to waste food.... or anything for that matter.

Here is a link with more of our tips on saving!

You see, just because you have the money to go on more trips, buy more toys, go out to dinner often, purchase new clothes etc. doesn't mean you have to. Don't spend money just because you have it. Buy what you NEED not what you WANT and then later in life you can buy what you want not just what you need without the guilt!

Too many are living outside of their means in the other direction. They spend money they don't have and wonder why they are constantly struggling financially. I have also seen people get out of debt and then think that gives them the liberty to spend their money anyway they please only to find themselves in debt again or living paycheck to paycheck.

My husband recently is fulfilling one of his dreams to publish a book! We are all very excited and it has been such a joy to be able to invest in this dream of his without having to worry about the money we are putting into it because we have plenty saved up. Another huge benefit of living like this is we are better able to give! We can give liberally without worrying.

Please don't think we have plenty in savings because we make lots of money :) We have been single income our whole marriage and my husband went from being a public school teacher to a pastor... neither career is known for it's high income :) 

Not sure how to live within a budget?! Dave Ramsey can help! Click here. 

Lastly, every human should watch this. It cracks me up and it's so true! :) 

So save up your money and then save more!

Top Five Areas I Am Simplifying In My Life

I am craving simplicity in my life right now. Having five children eight and under will do that. It seems life is all about moving from one season to the next and finding a "new normal" and finding a new normal is always easier if your life is simpler. Here are the top five areas I am seeking to simplify.

#1 Wardrobe: Have you heard of the "10 rule"? It's where you have only 10 shirts/blouses, 10 bottoms (skirts and/or jeans) and 10 winter tops. May still seem like a lot to some of you... but not to this "clothes hoarder"! :) The other issue with clothes for me is the season of childbearing years. My weight fluctuates within a 50 lb range so it's hard for me to get rid of clothes knowing that I might need them some day. Either way, I am seeking to implement the "10 rule". 

#2 Schedule/Commitments: When Scott and I first moved to WA I wanted to be involved in and head up everything! Now I am barely involved in anything. My only consistent commitment, outside the home, is to be the nursery coordinator for church. I also plan a ladies' conference once a year and that's pretty much it. I am not in a season right now that enables me to be involved in many things and that's okay. My main objective in life is to serve Christ and I serve Him best right now by serving my husband and children. Here is a simple sample of our average daily schedule.  Another way to simplify my life/schedule is to make as few trips "into town" as possible. I do much of my shopping online through amazon.com and safeway.com (you can get free delivery and better prices by shopping online!... I am thinking of doing a separate post just on how to safe the most possible on safeway.com and get your groceries delivered to your door AND get a big gas discount!)

#3 Meal Planning: One friend of mine recommended that I ask my husband which two areas in my stay at home endeavors were most important to him. He said: house cleaning and homeschooling. Meal planning came in last. So our meals are very simple. Cereal, toast or oatmeal for breakfast. Lunch is almost always "homemade lunchables" (just grab a variety of crackers, lunch meats and cheese and put on fun tray) or sandwiches with a choice of fruit. And dinner is either: tacos, homemade pizza, homemade almond flour pancakes, pasta with veggies, quesadillas, or soup/chili with homemade bread. (I also throw in a "ninja smoothie" with at least one meal a day which consists of frozen fruit, mixed greens and water). Simple but yummy and pretty healthy. If your husband just wants his favorites made consistently and on time consider writing down his favorites and then picking a day of the week that corresponds with each meal: "Taco Tuesday", "Lasagna Wednesday", "Chili Thursday" etc. 

#4 Homeschooling: I have chosen ACE. It was tempting to keep looking and looking at all of the bajillion choices out there but we are happy with ACE and I love that we just set the workbooks out for each child in the morning and they get to work. So much easier than making all those lesson plans for all sorts of curriculum! The kids do about four pages a day and I supplement with extra reading and geography workbooks. They are each on time or ahead of their grade level. We usually do our homeschooling in the morning right after breakfast and finish by noon. 

#5 Stuff: De-cluttering your life is the quickest and most efficient way to simplify your life! Click here to read a post I did a while back on decluttering our toys (often one of the main culprits in messiness in homes with lots of littles). I think that I throw away between 5-10 things DAILY. Clutter makes messes and complicates our lives and if you're anything like me, stress us out! So grab a few garbage bags and run around your home right now and grab whatever is not useful or beautiful and toss it or bring it to salvation army and let it clutter someone else's home :)

How about you? What are some ways you are seeking to simplify your life? Share in the comments below. 

Organizing and Homemaking Links and Advice!

In June I told you I was "going back to school"  and I have! I promised I would be sharing with you some things I have been learning and so here you go! 

Places online and products that have blessed me!:

http://www.deeprootsathome.com/

http://strangersandpilgrimsonearth.blogspot.com/

http://www.raisingarrows.net/

I bought these wonderful videos on homemaking and highly recommend them! So blessed by the simple example of this keeper of the home!


5 simple pieces of advice that have helped me tremendously!:

#1. Don't put it down, put it away. I have to repeat this to myself through out the day! so hard to do when you have lived a life of putting things down rather than putting them away. Which brings me to number 2.

#2. Everything has a place and there is a place for everything. Now putting things away rather than putting them down only works if those things have a place to go. I can't believe how much cleaner my home looks when I have a place for everything! If there is no place and I don't have room then I give it away. Which brings me to number 3.

#3. Get rid of what you don't use. Sounds so simple doesn't it?! But it's not! Here are four reasons it's hard to get rid of stuff and four reasons you still should.
1) "I might use it someday." Go on a major purging expedition in your home. Go through each room (with your kids if you want) with giant black garbage bags and have one bag that represents things you definitely want to give away and then another "I might use it someday bag". Then, take the ones you are giving away and load them up in your car and drive them to the thrift store THAT DAY, don't delay or the bags will probably just lay around. Next, take your "I might use it someday bags" and put them in some closet. Go to your calendar and skip three months ahead exactly and write: "Get rid of those bags". Whatever is left in those bags (that you didn't have to take out because you didn't have to use it) is what you take to the thrift store THAT DAY that you wrote on the calendar three months in advance. If you didn't use it in the last three months you probably won't use it. Worse case scenario you have to go to a thrift store and buy one. Just as a note, I have only regretted one thing I have gotten rid of: my massage table I paid like 500 bucks for that thing and sold it for 75 and now I wish I could give my husband and kid's massages on it. But considering the hundreds (yes hundreds) of things I have gotten rid of, having only one regret isn't bad :) 
2) "Someone gave it to me." Yes, and someoneS are going to continue to give you lots of things. You shouldn't be bound to keep things just because someone gave you something. People who know me well know I don't keep things and so they give to me sparingly and that is okay because I am upfront with people that material gifts are definitely not my love language. More stuff means more things to find places for (see #1 and #2) which means more of my time which means less time doing the things I love which means more stress. I have gotten rid of quilts, pictures, drawings, glass thingeys and souvenir  stuff that people have given me. So just a heads up, don't buy me anything. Hang out with me instead. Pray for me. Bless my children with a trip to the library or park. Try to do the same in communicating this to your loved ones. Let them know what would really bless you: a cup of coffee, free babysitting, email encouragement... things that don't clutter your home and make you feel guilty for throwing away! I have had to tell my parents and my husband's parents to give each child one present for Christmas and their birthdays. No more than that. One special gift is plenty and less likely to be thrown in the trash :)
3) "It's pretty." There are lots of pretty things out there. Now, I don't have a problem with having a few pretty things I really love. Like this one chalk board I made out of an old painting my daughter had. But the key is to have just a few pretty things. Some people think way too many things are pretty when really they are just adding to the messiness of their homes and making their overall homes less pretty. 
4) "It's a sentimental object." Oh yes. This is probably the toughest for people. At times, even hard for me. I still have my mom's mother of the bride dresses from my sister and my wedding. Not sure why. I think I'll get rid of those asap. I just took my wedding dress to a wedding dress consignment store and that was a great call. I do have a few pieces of my mom's jewelry as well... but that's about it. I don't think I struggle with this one as much as most but it saddens me when I see people unable to let go of sentimental things. Not just one or two things but people who have closets just of things they don't want to get rid of. Things that serve their current living situation or family in no way. Things that add to the clutter and messiness of their homes all in the name of sentimentality. Pray and ask the Lord to help you sort through why you are attached to something and see if it would be best overall to part with these things. They are just things. "Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. "Col. 3:1-2  “Don't lay up treasures for yourselves on the earth, where moth. and rust consume, and where thieves break through and steal; 20: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor. rust consume, and where thieves don't break through and steal." Matthew 6:19-20 Which brings me to #4. 

#4. Keep an eternal perspective. When it comes to clutter ask the Lord to give you an eternal perspective. Everything, I mean EVERYTHING that you can set your eyes on will not come with you. It is all temporary. But the ministry you provide out of your home serves an eternal purpose. The way you keep your home will effect your ministry in the home in positive or negative ways. You do view homemaking as a ministry right? It's a ministry to your children, your husband and all your guests. Remember, people before things, always! Practicing hospitality is a command not a gift some people have and it is a command much easier to live out if you have a orderly, non-cluttered home. Pray the Lord helps you to view your home from the perspective of eternity. 

#5. Your morning begins the night before. This little saying has helped me to enjoy my days much more. When I spend too much valuable evening time on the computer and not enough time sweeping, doing dishes, setting out clothes, finishing up laundry, writing my to-do-list/schedule for the next day, I always pay for it in the morning. How our mornings go often determine how our entire day will go. So don't waste your evenings! Use them for your mornings!

source: thewordshared.net

How about you? What is one practical piece of homemaking advice that you use daily? Which one of my pieces of advice spoke to the most? Share in the comments below!

Facebook Reflections

I have been off facebook for four months now. My original intention was to just take a month off but after my first month off I realized I didn't want to get back on.

When you are not on the biggest social network in the world you may feel a little left out but you will probably get a lot more done in the real world. There are those rare people that some how "don't check their facebook much" but I don't know many... most seem to check it constantly and then recheck it.... like I did. 

About 6 months ago I was asking the Lord what His will was for my life and it is answered quite simply in Titus 2: to keep my home, to love my husband and to love my children. Unfortunately, facebook wasn't part of the list. So I thought I would take a month off and that month turned into four months.

This post by Kelly Crawford also convicted the socks off of me! 

I have been reflecting lately: "what is it about facebook that makes it so appealing and for some, addictive?"

Here are three possible answers to that question:

1. Everyone wants to be affirmed. We all love to hear: "good job!" "I believe in you!" "I like you!" We all enjoy a nice compliment, but sometimes that craving can get unhealthy and before we know it we are craving the approval of man more than the approval of God. It is His opinion that matters most! It is His opinion we should crave the most! It is His "like" that we should be looking for! You have all the affirmation you will ever need in Christ. 

2. Everyone wants to be heard. One of my children in particular wants to be heard. So much so that when he is not heard his eyes often fill with tears. Some adults are like that too. They just want to be heard! They just want to vent whatever is on their mind and have others say: "I hear you." Facebook provides this for many people. 

3. Everyone wants to feel connected. We are made to be social, hence the word "social network". Facebook provides a sort of crack-cocaine form of feeling connected. God designed us to feel like part of a community and facebook provides that... in a way.  

Here is something to think about though:

Is the facebook world robbing our families of the opportunity to be the ones that primarily affirm us, hear us and make us feel connected?

Are we so tuned into our computer and phone screens that the very ones God put around us are not able to love us the way He designed because we are so distracted by our facebook family? 

Not everyone needs to get off facebook. But for now, it is best for me. My hope is not that this post makes anyone feel condemned but that it makes you think about why you are on facebook and if you are letting it rob you of the real life relationships and duties God has given you right within the four walls of your home. 

 "make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands." 1 Thess. 4:11

4 Ways to Nurture Your Marriage In Busy Times

It's easy to pay attention to your husband and put his needs first when it's just the two of you. But when you throw 2, 3, 5, 8 kids into the mix it makes things a lot more difficult. Add to that homeschooling and ministry and you are bound to be scrambling just to keep your head on straight much less figuring out how to pour into your marriage. But it's easier than you think! Here are four ways even the busiest wife can nurture her marriage:

#1 Smile. Weird huh? But when's the last time you intentionally looked at your husband across the room and smiled? A smile can change the whole mood in the home. When your kids are running around like monkeys make an effort to look at him and smile. This is a small way to warm his heart and let him know you not only love him, but you like him. 

#2 Text him. Text him things you are thankful for about him. Text him about how thankful you are that he works hard for the family. Text him some of your favorite things about his personality. Text him about how you appreciate his love for your kids. Text him anything during the day that will encourage him and put a little pep in his step!

#3 Put the kids to bed early and plan a "in home date night". Make his favorite dessert and sit together at the dining room table or out on the front porch and talk about your day. It's amazing how much this time together can nurture your marriage and save you money! :) 

#4 Touch him. Embrace him with a big hug and kiss when he gets home. Hold his hand when you sit together. Lay your head on his chest when you sit next to each other on the couch. Some men are not "touchers" and so you can ignore this one. But it is important that you find out how he does feel loved! Does he light up when you verbally affirm him? Does he seem extra thankful when you serve him his favorite meal or bring him a cup of coffee? Does he beam with joy when you surprise him with a special gift? Figure out what blesses him the most and look for ways to incorporate it into your life! Figuring out your husband's love language and looking for opportunities to do it will be a major way to nurture your marriage. One love language most men share is sexual intimacy. Be sure to be available sexually for your husband too! You are the one woman he gets for life to satisfy him and you don't want to disappoint. God has made it very clear in His Word that your body belongs to him too. Don't deny him. 

When we pour into our husbands and marriage this way we are nurturing ourselves too! When we feed our marriage we are feeding ourselves! After all, two become one flesh. However you nurture him you nurture you.

Please leave a comment and give your own ideas of ways that you nurture your marriage in the midst of busyness. Also let me know if you do one of these four things! Would love to hear how it goes!

The VERY BEST Way to Make Money From Home!

Okay, are you ready? You want to hear the very best way to make money from home?! Here it goes....

DON'T SPEND MONEY!

Yep. That's it. So many women go back to work because "they have to" (don't get me wrong! I know there are cases in which women really do have to go back to work). But many women actually could stay home if they just wouldn't spend the money their husband is making.

I know it's impossible to not spend ANY money, but so many women WASTE money. How many actually buy what they need instead of what they want? How many women are looking for ways to save by not spending rather than shopping the sales? Many of those "sale purchases" are unnecessary and shouldn't have been purchased in the first place! Just because something is on sale doesn't mean you should buy it!

Think of ALL THE MONEY you would have if you didn't waste it! Think of all the money you would have if you didn't waste it on meals to go because you did a better job planning meals for the week! Think of all the money you would have if you simply stopped spending it!

Those $40 shoes that you "have to have", not so much. That "special" toy that you MUST buy your 5 year old only so they can toss it to the side in a week in hopes of getting something else, not so much.

STOP SPENDING MONEY AND WATCH YOUR MONEY GROW!

Precious treasure and oil are in a wise man's dwelling, but a foolish man devours it.
(Proverbs 21:20)

So, that's my advice for a stay at home business! You will make big bucks for sure!

P.s. Be sure to check out HOW WE PAID OFF OUR MORTGAGE ON ONE INCOME (I'll give you a hint, a lot of it has to do with NOT SPENDING MONEY :)

My Second "Non-Babywise" Baby

My sweet Chloe was born on December 6th 2014. She was my second homebirth (you can read about my first homebirth here). The birth went as expected: lots of pain followed by lots of joy :) oh and p.s. this was the first time I didn't find out what I was having and it definitely was NOT all it's cracked up to be. Not doing that again.

Oh my goodness! How cute is my Chloe bug?!

I had decided when I was pregnant that I would do a "non-babywise" thing again with this baby as I had done with Charis. Now truth be told I was terrified (slight exaggeration) that I would change my mind... because... well... I do that A LOT. But yeah! I didn't change my mind and I am loving having my sweet Chloe bug on what I call: a go with the flow sleep training schedule. 

Now "go with the flow" and "schedule" don't usually go together. But I believe I have found a happy balance. Here are my tips on how to not have your baby screaming their head off periodically while also not losing your mind. 

#1. NEVER sleep with your baby. Alright, so I totally just lost half of you right there. But try it out! Sleeping with your baby trains your baby to sleep with you. Duh. But sleeping with you also means lots and lots of nursing and that can often mean no sleep for you or daddy or baby. Now, hey, if you want to sleep with your baby and that's what your husband wants (mine definitely didn't) then by all means go for it.

#2. Have a transition plan. My babies when they are first born are placed in the little bassinet and placed next to my bed. When they start to become more aware of their surroundings I transition them to a more private place like a bathroom or closet (big closet with good air flow) that is still close to my bed but far enough away that they don't see me. Around 6 months I transition them to the crib. Chloebug (her nickname) is almost 7 months so has been in her crib for about a month and it's going great! Now, by great, I don't mean: sleeping through the night. That, unlike babywise moms, is not my ultimate goal. I'll sleep later in life. I am able to nurse and go back to sleep and so it's not a big deal to lose out on sleep in 10 min. increments knowing that I am still in my own bed without a baby about 7-8 hours a night. Chloe usually gets up around 1-2 times in an 8 hour period. I nurse her in the dark and lay her right back down with her pacifier (I LOVE THE PACIFIER). Which brings me to number 3.

#3. Use a pacifier. There are so many oppositions to the pacifier that you can start to fear it's use. I didn't use a pacifier with my third and fourth child and they both still suck their finger (one is 2 and one is 5). Pacifiers can be taken away. Chloe has never shown "nipple confusion" and it never has hindered her nursing. Lastly, I taught her how to take it in and out of her mouth on her own so that I don't have to go in constantly and put it back in. You just practice when they are awake. Pacifiers have also been shown in helping preventing sids. Speaking of that, this is the first baby I have put on their back. I was not too excited about that but my husband insisted that I did and I was petrified of one of our babies dying from sids and us having to live with that if we had them on their tummies. One of my friends is a NICU nurse and she said she has never seen a baby come in who died from sids that was on their back... every single one was on their tummy... put that bit of info together with the fact that our friend's neighbor had just lost a baby to sids and they had the baby on their tummy. So I put Chloe on her back and swaddled her with one of these. It went fine and now she is swaddle free and rolling all around in her crib. I still lay her down on her back and she often chooses to sleep that way now anyway.

#4. Try feeding your baby whenever they wake up. This idea actually did come from babywise with it's: feed, wake, sleep routine. Chloe wakes up, I nurse her, let her "play" and then lay her down WIDE AWAKE. Now here's the deal though, for the first three months this rarely happens as planned and I am okay with that. I wore Charis (my first non-babywise baby) a lot the first three months and I did that a lot with Chloe as well. I was so afraid to wear my first "babywise babies" and was so pleasantly surprised that they could still sleep by themselves at night and that I wasn't training them to only sleep on me like I had feared. I never let Chloe and Charis scream like I did with my first three. I would do a "go with the flow schedule/routine" of: sleep, wake, feed, play, sleep. But sometimes I nursed them to sleep and sometimes I would wear them to get them to sleep during the day. By the time they were almost four months old I wasn't wearing them anymore and they were going to sleep happy! I never watched the clock but instead prayed that God with give me motherly wisdom to nurture, love and train my babies as He would have me do, not as man says I should. How did Eve survive without Gary Ezzo telling her what to do?! In fact, she didn't even have a clock! Oh. my. 

#5. Don't stress. Easy right? Ha! Yeah right! Stress is something we as people, especially a Christian people, have to combat daily. Stressing usually is due to a lack of trust in God but in the case of being the mama of a new baby it's often due to just not knowing what to do! It's hard to meet the needs of a little one that can't talk yet! It's hard to know why they are crying again and again. Mothering seems like something that should "come naturally" but just like many things in life, it is a learning process. For some of you though the learning curve isn't as severe because you were raised around babies, I wasn't. But I have found such a profound difference in mothering my fifth baby verses my first. Oh that I could go back and tell myself to chill out! I remember sprinting through the house as fast as I could to pick up Rhea (my firstborn) because she was crying. Now I understand crying is part of life. It's a part of my life as an adult and for a baby. I don't believe in letting my baby cry for long periods of time because frankly that's what "crack moms" do. Sounds harsh. But it's true! Crack moms don't tend to their babies needs and nurture them. Crack moms leave their babies to cry for hours. I have learned to enjoy this season more. Not freak out about crying and not let it go on and on. Now when I lay Chloe down I recognize which cry means: "I'm not going to sleep" and which one means: "I'm sleepy and need to fuss a bit". I enjoy my "go with the flow" mothering so much more than rigid scheduling! Life doesn't always happen on schedule and so pray and ask God to help you to not stress when things don't go according to your plan. Stressing totally takes your joy and prevents you from loving the baby season!

#6 Have a "security blanket" for them. I love my pacifiers and blankies. I pick out a soft blankie, preferably lighter so that it isn't too hot in the summer, before the baby arrives. I nurse them with it and lay them down with it. These come in so handy in the car when they need to settle down, at church, when they are upset and best of all at nap and bed time! 

Those are my 6 simple tips on how to "train" a non-babywise baby to sleep. Thoughts? Questions? Be sure to leave them in the comment section! Thanks for stopping by!