Upgrading Our Dining Room Table and Old Dressers

Ok, so if you want to think of someone who is not crafty you can think of ME. I NEVER pictured myself doing something like this! But... I did :) I married a wonderful, frugal man and I figured out rather quickly that if I wanted my furniture to look better or different that I was going to have to get creative in how to do that on a tight budget. 

First came my table. My husband had bought a solid oak table before we even met. It is a nice table. The wear and tear though from all the company and kids was bad. It was just getting flat out ugly. (see pic below)

Sorry for the blurry picture. It's hard for me to get pictures not blurry through my instagram account. But you get the idea, the table was worn out!

First I unscrewed the legs and my sister helped me get the top propped up out in my carport and I borrowed her hand sander and went to town! I used ebony wood stain to stain the table after I was done sanding and did about 3 coats. I wanted it super dark and it was super dark and BEAUTIFUL. After that dried for a day or two I put on 

Polycrylic Water-Based Protective Clear Finish to make it super shiny and EASY TO CLEAN. I used a couple high quality paint brushes for the stain and just plain old foam brushes for the clear finish. I probably did about 4 coats of the clear finish. Like I said, I wanted it shiny :)

The table today! It is holding up wonderfully! Doesn't even look like the same one!

As that was drying I started on the legs. I did NOT want to sand the legs so I used chalk paint. Chalk paint is a lazy person's best friend. I made my own (WAY TOO MUCH MONEY THE OTHER WAY).Homemade chalkpaint recipe: Mix 1/3 cup of plaster of Paris and 1/3 cup of cool water; stir until completely smooth. Mix that with 1 cup of latex paint and stir thoroughly. This will make enough chalk-finish paint for one coat on a six-drawer dresser. Chalk-finish paint should not be stored and reused. I used foam brushes for this too and did probably four coats. After that I waxed them with cheap wax. This stuff stinks people! So make sure you are in a well-ventilated area and don't plan on bringing your masterpieces inside for at least a couple of days :) 


Next, THE DRESSERS!!!

Let's just say in the picture below that the one on top is dresser number 1, the one to the left and below (with black and white table cloth on top) is dresser number 2 and the last one is dresser number 3. 

Dressers are great for multipurpose function! We use ours out in our living room/dining areas to hold our homeschool supplies and paper products and we use the tops as buffets for when we have company!

Dresser number 1: This was my grandmothers dresser and it was pretty ugly :) I got some of my stepmom's old paint, bright turquoise as you can see, and made homemade chalk paint out of it! (recipe above). That's it. Super easy. Did about two coats and then put some of the same protective clear finish on top that I did on my table. It is holding up really well! It got some scratches on it on the move over (my parents live in CA) but I just touched up with some of the same paint (not chalk paint, just straight from the can). I used foam brushes for this. 

Dresser number 2: This was more than likely my GREAT grandmother's dresser! I did the same to it as dresser number one, homemade chalk paint but in a different color. It is also holding up really well! The top was pretty messed up so it almost always has this table cloth on it (one I got for a wedding gift 10 years ago!) So far these two dressers have cost me $0!!! That's the way to do it people! :)

Dresser number 3: This was in the house we are living in when we got here. It had some real wood and some of that fake wood. I knew sanding wasn't an option. At this point I hadn't heard much about chalk painting (this was actually the first dresser I did) and so I was looking into other options to paint it without having it scratch off easily/peal without sanding. I found this: Cover Stain Primer. It worked very well! I put on two coats and then took my sister's left over paint that she used to paint her laundry room with. I used foam brushes again (my favorite obviously). There were some knobs missing so I went to IKEA and got a bag of 10 of them for $5 to match as closely as possible! I also spray painted the other knobs/handles with a glossy black spray paint and put them back together. For the top I used some lovely Java Gel Stain. I love this stuff! Hate sanding?! This is your thing right here! I applied three coats to the top of the dresser with socks! That is the best way to do it. A little bit goes a long way!

Let me tell you all a little secret. There are a million other people out there that know a million times more than me about this stuff :) This lady is the one I learned a lot from! I love her youtube channel!

Now for one last fun LITTLE project that I did spur of the moment. My oldest daughter had a painting up in her room that no one really cared for that was like $10 at a garage sale from years ago. I loved the frame but the picture itself was lame. So I decided to paint it with homemade chalk paint (the same turquoise I had borrowed from my sister for my dining table chairs) and painted the frame with that. Next I painted the painting itself with chalkboard paint! I have made lots of little and big chalkboards since then! Again, one can goes a long way and use foam brushes.

Let me know if you have any questions! It was so much fun doing all of this and spending so little money to transform so many pieces of furniture! 

First picture is all the things I used to refinish my table, chairs and dressers! (minus the paint...lots of different types and colors there and mine were all free!). Each of these containers are 1/2 to 3/4 full still and can be used for any future projects! The second picture is the old picture I painted and put chalkboard paint on from my daughter's room. We decided to hang it up on our fireplace.

Facebook Reflections

I have been off facebook for four months now. My original intention was to just take a month off but after my first month off I realized I didn't want to get back on.

When you are not on the biggest social network in the world you may feel a little left out but you will probably get a lot more done in the real world. There are those rare people that some how "don't check their facebook much" but I don't know many... most seem to check it constantly and then recheck it.... like I did. 

About 6 months ago I was asking the Lord what His will was for my life and it is answered quite simply in Titus 2: to keep my home, to love my husband and to love my children. Unfortunately, facebook wasn't part of the list. So I thought I would take a month off and that month turned into four months.

This post by Kelly Crawford also convicted the socks off of me! 

I have been reflecting lately: "what is it about facebook that makes it so appealing and for some, addictive?"

Here are three possible answers to that question:

1. Everyone wants to be affirmed. We all love to hear: "good job!" "I believe in you!" "I like you!" We all enjoy a nice compliment, but sometimes that craving can get unhealthy and before we know it we are craving the approval of man more than the approval of God. It is His opinion that matters most! It is His opinion we should crave the most! It is His "like" that we should be looking for! You have all the affirmation you will ever need in Christ. 

2. Everyone wants to be heard. One of my children in particular wants to be heard. So much so that when he is not heard his eyes often fill with tears. Some adults are like that too. They just want to be heard! They just want to vent whatever is on their mind and have others say: "I hear you." Facebook provides this for many people. 

3. Everyone wants to feel connected. We are made to be social, hence the word "social network". Facebook provides a sort of crack-cocaine form of feeling connected. God designed us to feel like part of a community and facebook provides that... in a way.  

Here is something to think about though:

Is the facebook world robbing our families of the opportunity to be the ones that primarily affirm us, hear us and make us feel connected?

Are we so tuned into our computer and phone screens that the very ones God put around us are not able to love us the way He designed because we are so distracted by our facebook family? 

Not everyone needs to get off facebook. But for now, it is best for me. My hope is not that this post makes anyone feel condemned but that it makes you think about why you are on facebook and if you are letting it rob you of the real life relationships and duties God has given you right within the four walls of your home. 

 "make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands." 1 Thess. 4:11

The Stay At Home Mom Who Doesn't Stay Home

I have often heard that stay at home moms get a hard time for "just staying at home." But I would say most of us stay at home moms aren't really staying at home very much. It seems now we are busier than ever and our homes are not what they should be. We also have these crazy things called automobiles and automobiles bring a lot more temptations and possibilities out there to make us want to venture outside our four walls often... probably more often than we should.

First I would like to give a disclaimer. There is nothing wrong with going places, going out with friends, shopping etc. The problem is, for many stay at home moms, home is no longer where they are spending most of their time. Our homes are losing out because our hearts are wandering and longing for more than "just keeping the home." I believe God will guide you and convict you. It is of utmost importance that we are sensitive to the Spirit's leading in this and that we stay home more if that is what He wants of us.

I am finding that my desire to leave home is decreasing greatly with each child. Homeschooling, laundry, keeping the home, playing with my children, praying with them, training them, cooking... all these things take lots of time and even more so as God adds more children to our family.

In many ways stay at home moms can become busybodies, but not busy in their homes as the Lord would want. This verse, talking about women, describes perfectly what I am saying: "Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to." (1 Tim. 5:13) Some of us "stay at home" moms are in the habit of being idle and going from house to house... or store to store... or event after event.

There are always things out there to distract us from our homes ladies! Be on guard. Be aware. Pray and ask the Lord how He would have you spend your time. How would God say we are doing in our "employment" as stay at home moms? Are we treating it as our profession and making it a priority or do we look for ways to "get out of work?" I know when I am "out and about", even for just one day, that I get behind. But when I purpose to stay home and focus on the tasks at hand I find I am able to keep my head above water.
One practical way to limit outings is to be picky and purposeful in what you and your children do outside the home. Some families spend way more time outside the four walls of their house than in their house. Our homes should be a place of refuge and togetherness, not just a place we land to go to sleep.

Scott and I are not doing any sports right now with the children and I think that helps with our time together at home. Homeschooling obviously contributes greatly to me staying at home. Shopping once a week rather than multiple times a week helps too.

You can also be at home and not really be AT HOME. When you are on the phone it's as if you aren't there. To me, to be "at home" means to be completely available to your home and the people in it. When we are on facebook or blogging our minds are distracted as well. It takes intention not only to be physically at home but emotionally too!

A true "stay at home mom" sees the home as her primary place of influence. She invests in it and her family more than anything or anyone else. God is able to give us great contentment in our homes if we seek it because He desires for us to be "keepers of them" (Titus 2:5) and as we obey Him with a cheerful and thankful heart, contentment will follow.

"Father, I know Your Word calls me to manage my home, to be busy there and to keep it well. Please remind me of these truths when my heart and mind are tempted to wander and covet what others do. Stir in me a greater desire to be at home and enjoy this sphere of influence You have called me to! Thank you for the privilege of being a stay at home mom. I pray I would grow to appreciate it more and more each day. Help me to never be like the woman in Proverbs 7:11 which says: 'She is loud and wayward; her feet do not stay at home...' Remind me of the benefits of my feet staying at home."

My Relationship With the Computer Part 2

A few weeks ago I wrote THIS POST on my relationship with my computer. This is Part 2.

I was rather convicted by all the time I had spent at my computer while my children were living life around me. I took a break from facebook for about a month to see if it would help me spend more time with my kiddos and have a better kept home. It did both of those things. 

However, I am discovering that the internet itself is my only hobby. I really don't "do" any other extra curricular things... I don't sew, I don't do crafts, I don't even read (aside from the bible of course), I don't watch tv or movies and so the internet is my hobby. I love to read Christian women blogs and be encouraged and I love to encourage others on facebook... but it's important that these things don't happen at the expense of my family....

So, I am reevaluating and praying about my "boundaries" with the computer... and my smartphone. These things can supplement our lives and be of benefit but they can also be of great detriment when they get more attention than the ones we love.

Let me tell you a little something about me. I am extreme. And most of the time I hate it. It's annoying. Sometimes I am thankful for it because in many ways Christ Himself was extreme and so were many of the prophets. But for the most part it drives me crazy (and those around me too). The extreme part of me wants to say: "no facebook or computer or phone when kids are awake." The other side says: "can't you do these things in balance?" I am praying the Lord would refine this area in my life so that it brings Him glory in some way; even when it comes to my computer. I want to honor Him in all ways. The big, the small, the lived out loud and the lived within. May He be glorified with our hobbies, our families, our homes, our interests, our conversations, our hearts and yes, even our relationship with our computers.

What's It Like Living With YOU?

Have you ever asked yourself this question? What is it like living with you? What is it like to be in the same home as you? What is it like to share meals with you, share days with you, hours... minutes? 

Are you a joy? A burden? A blessing? Are you gentle? Is kindness on your lips or do you spew harsh words? Do you allow your circumstances to dictate your mood or do you allow your mood to be shaped by your God? Are you long-suffering or do those around you feel like they have to suffer long? I love the definition of long-suffering: "suffering for a long time without complaining : very patient during difficult times."Does this describe you? Home-life is full of suffering... some serious and some everyday kind of stuff. Home-life is difficult at times and requires patience and grace to the extreme in order to be lived well.

How would your family describe you? Who we are at home is who we really are. It is so easy to put on a show but when we are with family they see the real us. I am afraid mine might use these kinds of words to describe me if they were honest: selfish, lazy, controlling and impatient. Ouch. Thanks be to God though that He is always working! We must simply yield to the convictions He brings into our lives and work with Him to bring about the beauty He has to offer in the midst of our messiness. We have to be in the Word and meditating on it day and night. We need to be seeking Him and seeking growth in Him or we will continually slip into old habits and patterns (Rom. 12:2).

My hope is that my children will look back and think of living me as being more like living with a woman chasing after God and seeking to please Him in every way and less like a weary, grumpy, short-tempered mama who is "at her wits end".

These years with our children in the home with us go by so fast. We have only but a little while to be a joy to live with. Soon they will be off on their own, living in their own home and living with us will be a distant (hopefully enjoyable) memory.

Ask yourself often: "what is it like living with me?" and then ask the Lord to reveal to you the ways He needs to work in your heart and life to make living with you a pleasure and not a burden. 

May we be more like this woman: "She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction]. She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat. Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her..." (prov. 31:26-28) and less like the other women described in proverbs as being: contentious, nagging and quarrelsome. 

Above all, abide in Him and cling to Him not only for your own sake but for those who live with you!  He alone is able to make you a joy to live with. 

One less thing....

I am sure you have heard of Elisabeth Elliot's phrase: "Do the next thing." Well, my new phrase is: "One less thing."

I recently stopped dying my hair. Seems like a simple, non-impressive thing to stop doing but it's one less thing to think about now. It's one less thing to buy. It's one less thing to take up space in my house. It's one less thing to think about. When we have "one less thing" to do we make room for one more beneficial thing to do. When we compile a list of "one less things" we suddenly find we have much more time for the greater things.

In my life right now I am all about: one less thing. Having four children six and under, homeschooling them, and being a pastor's wife (which involves many different things/events) means being pulled in many directions.

All of us probably feel like we are pulled in many directions. Remember, every time you say yes to something you are saying no to something else. I suppose the reverse could be true too. Every time you say no to something you are saying yes to something else.

By me saying "yes" to doing a blog post right now I am saying "no" to my kids. I cannot give them my full attention. That is why it is also good to evaluate what you choose to say yes to and WHEN you say yes to it. By choosing to blog when my kids are sleeping I am saying yes to blogging without saying no to my kids. Makes sense right?

What "one less thing" do you need in your life right now? What thing can you cut out from your life to say yes to something else? 

We have way too many things in our lives and when we are doing many things we are rarely doing a few things well. It is better to do a few things well than many things poorly.

One less thing will add more to your life. Before purchasing one more thing or before doing one more thing ask these questions: will this thing take more of my time? will I need to find some place to put it? will it require cleaning and upkeep? Does it cost money? If so, is it worth the cost? Is it something my husband would like me to do or to buy? Will this event make me a more godly wife, a better mother or a better homemaker?

By seriously considering what we say yes to we are seriously considering the Lord's will for our lives and how He would have us spend our time. After-all, even our time does not belong to us.  

"For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God." (1 Cor. 6:20)

Make a list right now of the "one less things" you can implement in your life and experience the freedom found in having and doing less!

My First Homebirth

Charis is six months old! Can you believe it?! We love our sweet girl and are so glad we reversed our decision to not have any more children. Look what we would have missed out on!

After six months of reflection I thought it would be good to post about my home birth experience. Let me open by saying: I NEVER...EVER THOUGHT I WOULD DO A HOME BIRTH :) With Rhea (my first) I had every intention in the world to have a natural childbirth in the hospital... um, yeah right. I went on and on the months before going into labor about how women have done it for thousands of years, I can do it to! I remember my sister said something like: "Um, sister, you might want to wait until you have a baby before you go talking about how easy it is..." Yeah, wish I would have listened to her. After about 12 hours of labor with Rhea and being dilated to only a three I called it quits and got that lovely thing called an: epidural :) WOWZA. that thing made me feel like I wasn't even having a baby. It did wear off at the pushing point though... I pushed for over an excruciating hour and then my beautiful baby girl was FINALLY there!

My second birth was my son Ricky. I told Scott: "well, I'll go as long as 'possible' without the epidural." (I think we both knew that wouldn't be very long). Once I started puking over and over I decided to "hook it up". Ricky was a much easier labor over all. But he came out with a 104 temp and was immediately taken from me and put on antibiotics... still not sure what happened there.

18 months later Johnny came. This time I was a week overdue and my blood pressure was through the roof. My mother had died suddenly a couple days before I was due and I think I was internalizing a lot of things (obviously) and they broke my water to start labor... and I got the epidural..... again. It was a very UN-eventful labor...if there is such a thing :)

Fast forward two years. I am pregnant with Charis and seriously considering a home birth. The only reason for that is because of where I now live: Washington. The state with the highest rate of home births. Almost every single one of my closest friends here does home births (a lot of them with the same Christian mid-wife).

I thought: "well, I would like to do a natural child-birth and I KNOW I won't do that at a hospital with that epidural so readily available. I also hate them waking me up all night and not really feeling like my baby is mine until I leave the hospital." So, Scott and I talked and decided yep, we're gonna do it! I had no idea what I said yep to.

On February 6th around 7 a.m. Johnny came in the room with me and cuddled. I had some pretty strong contractions about 10 min. apart.... I thought: "I bet this isn't it." The morning proceeded. Scott was at his office in an important meeting so I didn't bother him. The kids started making fun of the silly/crazy sounds/breathing noises I was making every five minutes or so. They were impersonating me and laughing pretty hard. not. funny. I called my dad and his lovely wife and asked if they could come over and help me out with the kiddos (they were staying at my in-laws waiting for me to have the baby).

They came over around 10 a.m. Kathleen offered to make me a omelet and I gladly accepted the offer (I puked it up a couple hours later). At this point I was laying on my bed breathing through sporadic contractions. Scott came home around 10:30. I called my midwife around 11. She said: "Hmmm, we might be having a baby today." I still didn't believe it. I called my friend Bonnie and she said: "I think this is it!" I still didn't believe it. Around noon though, I told my dad: "I think this is it."

Scott got the birthing tub out and... POPPED IT! I was like: "What is that sound?!" It was a hilarious sight (now I think it's hilarious). Our dear friend/contractor, my father in law, step mom and dad were frantically running around looking for duct tape! :) They found the duct tape and I asked my dad to take the kiddos back to my in-laws. IT WAS HAPPENING... and I was puking... and in so much pain....

Scott started to fill the tub and we called our midwife and told her this was the real deal. She got there around 1. The tub was full and I was in there....dying.... or at least that's what it felt like. I just kept telling myself: "Next time I can get the epidural..." That was the only thing making me feel better :)

She checked me and said I was at a five. I was depressed. A five?!!! This is going to take FOREVER! The contractions were strong but the water helped SO much. I didn't realize how much the water was helping until I got out to try and go to the bathroom... I had three contractions right on top of each other that were INTENSE. I couldn't even stand. My husband was holding me up and I said: "I want to go back into that tub... NOW."

Well, it didn't take forever... in fact after only 2 more hours of labor and 7 minutes of pushing, she was in my arms at 3 p.m.!!! All I kept saying was: "Isn't she beautiful?! Isn't she beautiful?!!" Scott was crying lots of tears of joy. We called my family (my parents, his parents and our kiddos) immediately and skyped with them via i-phone (sometimes I love technology :)

I got to hold her as long as I wanted. Then I passed her off to one proud and happy daddy.

After that I got into my OWN shower. And walked down the hall to my OWN bed. My whole family got to come in and share in the excitement. It was wonderful. The pain stunk. I hated it. Suffering is never fun. BUT the joy of having my baby in my own home made it all worth it.

It was amazing... My husband was such a champ! He did a great job doing whatever I asked promptly! :) I about broke his hand from squeezing it so hard. My midwives were awesome! They have delivered well over a thousand babies in homes! There are so many other details I could share. But I figure that's enough for now. Let me know if you have any questions or thoughts!

Will I do it again? Yes.

Top 5 Benefits of Getting Rid of Stuff!

I have been in a major: "Get all this stuff out of my house!" mode. It has blessed my soul! :) Here are some of the ways I have benefited from simplifying my life:

1. I find I am cleaning less and less. The kids room is clean, there is less laundry, there is less stuff to put away, etc. Less stuff=less cleaning.

2. I have more time! The less things you have the more time you have to do other things. Things you like (like for me, blogging). Things you love. More time also means more time with the ones you love. My kids and husband get more of me because there is more to go around :)

3. Less stress! Stuff=stress. My house feels free-er. It feels... lighter. I enjoy being home more because there aren't so many things staring at me in the face saying: "Put me away. Clean me. Do something with me...."

4. My house feels bigger. It's easy to understand why getting rid of junk leads to feeling like you have more room. More room to move... to breathe.

5. My marriage is better. My husband hates, I mean HATES, clutter. It is a stresser for him and therefore for me too. Our marriage has benefited greatly from simply simplifying our lives. 

“By wisdom a house is built, & through understanding it is established.”
Proverbs 24:3

“The wise woman builds her house,
but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”
Proverbs 14:1

Struggle #1-Clutter!

I did a "ladies' day in May" at my home on Saturday. It was a blessing to sit with sisters in Christ and talk about 5 common struggles women face. I wanted to share with you all what we talked about!

Struggle number one: Clutter.

 

Definition: to fill or liter things in a disorderly manner. (but I have also had too many things in an orderly manner that I would still consider clutter :) 

Many women struggle with stuff. Too much stuff. "Gotta have more" syndrome! Clutter=stress and mess. Get rid of it and find freedom and joy! :) 

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Author: Susan Verstraete writes:

A friend of mine lost nearly everything she owned in a house fire. About a year later, I asked her about what she had learned through that trial. Looking back, she was surprised to remember all the people who expressed envy. “Don’t take this the wrong way,” they said, “but I really wish this would happen to me.” 

What were they thinking? That the clutter in their homes was out of control, and the only way to be free involved the fire department.

I can relate. My husband and I have reached the point in our lives where having fewer possessions is an attractive goal. Clutter causes us stress. I can’t protect my husband from workplace frustration or my son from traffic or either of them from a thousand other irritations in life, but I can get rid of excess clutter and organize my home so that they can find the scissors and the tape on the first try.

Still, though, I am often snared by the promise of a better life through consumerism. We never have a shortage of items to purge during my annual sweep through our home. How else can I explain accumulating three drip coffee makers and a coffee press? 

Here’s what I preach to myself as I’m combing the house for items to give away: 

1.  Jesus said that life does not consist in the abundance of possessions. Luke 12:15

2.  Spiritual life can be choked out by clutter, which is part of "the cares and riches of this life." Luke 8:14

3.  God is pleased when we give things away cheerfully.  2 Cor. 9:7

4. Sharing our excess goods is one way to bear fruit in keeping with repentance. Luke 3:11

5.  One of God’s names is Jehova Jira – God who provides. If we give away something and end up needing it later, we can trust God to provide. Phil. 4:19 

6.  Giving to those in need stores riches for us in Heaven, and is an expression of love for the church. Luke 12:33

7.  Sharing what we have pleases God. Hebrews 13:16 

8.  Everything we own has been given to us by God. We are only stewards of our stuff. Psalm 24:1

9.  God is not a God of confusion, but of order (think about how this is exemplified in creation). An orderly home reflects God's character. Genesis 1

10.Hoarding goods "just in case" can be a way of trusting my stuff to keep me safe instead of my God. Psalm 31:6 

Sometimes it helps to remember that one day I will be called to give up everything. No physical item will go with me to Heaven. There's nothing I own that I need to be perfectly happy and at peace with God.

How about you? Do you struggle with clutter? Pray and ask the Lord what He would have you give away and receive the blessing of a less cluttered life! If it's not beautiful, necessary or useful then get rid of it!

Not According To Plan

 
Today did not go according to MY plan.

3:30 a.m.- Charis wakes... MY plan: Charis wake at 7 a.m.

4:00 a.m.- get Charis back to bed.

7:00 a.m.-Blood drive people arrive at church fellowship hall (right next to bedroom window) and begin chatting and unloading all their loud equipment. MY plan: sleep in until at least 7:30.

7:10 a.m.-Kids wake up to phone ringing two times in a row. The blood drive people set church alarm off and needed help.

7:15 a.m.- EVERYBODY is up. NOT MY PLAN :)

7:30 a.m. - I decide since I am sleep deprived that I want to be mean to my husband. Not a good plan. Especially since it is supposed to be his day off... who wants to spend their day off with a crabby wife?

 
8:00 a.m.- Decide to be nice to my husband and we have a nice chat while kids run around and make a mess and I pretend they aren't. That was not part of my plan. But it was nice!

The times start becoming a blur after this....

Some time a little later-Scott goes and donates blood. Ricky follows.

Around 11 a.m.-Friend comes over. Him and Scott talk forever (okay, not forever, but close). MY plan: spend family day together at park... or at least have daddy take big kids to the park so I can clean.

12:00- Scott realizes he can't take kids to the park so we settle for a picnic in backyard. NOT my plan.

1:30-Scott gets ready to go to office. DEFINITELY NOT my plan on his day off but because he is doing something special with kids all day Saturday while I host a ministry event at my house he has to go. I am left with four crazy kids to myself. Not my plan.

Things get blurry again :)

I notice Johnny isn't napping... not good. Not according to plan.

4:30- Charis wakes up and I am desperately trying to keep Johnny awake so he doesn't fall asleep at 5 and wake up at 4... Mission somewhat failed: he fell asleep at 5:45... still not my plan.

5:45- Johnny is passed out on floor, Ricky starts sniffling like he is getting a cold, Charis won't stop crying and has a cold, daddy is still at office... can you guess?! Not my plan!

6:30-nurse Charis again to try and get her to sleep. company comes over while I am in back. Ricky wakes up Johnny which throws him into a screaming fit I finally get him to go back to sleep... Not my plan.

7:00-Lay Charis down, company leaves. Tell Ricky and Rhea it's bed time (they usually go to bed at 8:30... but NOT TODAY! I like that NEW plan. :)

7:30-Realize Charis is still crying. Go in room to see she has had a...for lack of a better term... poop-explosion. We don't have a bathroom to bathe her in right now because we are remodeling so while I hold her in one arm getting poop all over me with her screaming I take the baby tub and put it on kitchen counter and fill it with bowls full of water from the kitchen sink... I realize I didn't get a washcloth so I grab a bib and she starts screaming because I forgot a towel and so when I took her out she was freezing. Get a diaper on her asap and nurse her again. lay her down. I think she is finally sleeping.

I am still in pajama clothes and haven't showered and never got around to putting on mascara... ALL OF THIS WAS NOT MY PLAN.

But it was probably His plan. His plan is always best. His plan refines me and makes me more like Christ.

"The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9

This verse blesses the very depths of my mama soul. I have LOTS of plans every day... and my day never seems to go just as I planned. That's a good thing.

Motherhood in general never seems to go as planned and I think that is just the way God planned it. You see, He knew we were controlling (Genesis 3:16) and what better way to break a controlling spirit then to ruin it's plans?! He knows best. What do I know?

Motherhood is all about sacrifice. Sacrifice of sleep. Sacrifice of pride. Sacrifice of CONTROL. The sooner we realize and accept this the more we will enjoy motherhood.

Let go of your plans and allow His plan to work in your life and in your heart. He can do great things with a humble mama.

How do you do it all?!!!

I often hear this: "How do you do it all?!!!" First of all, I don't. Second of all (BIG disclaimer here) I am not saying if you do these things that you are bad, wrong, etc My desire is to simply give some practical tips on how I "find time" :)  Even though I don't "do it all" I thought I would share with you some things I do and don't do that free up time so that I can do things that I think matter most.

A friend wrote me recently and said: " I don't know how in the world you find time to write, post, blog, read, encourage with all your kiddos...Most days I barely have time to eat." Unfortunately, I ALWAYS find time to eat. :) But "find time" is an interesting saying, isn't it? Do we find time? Not really... In a way time finds us. We can't escape it. We all have a certain amount of time... 24 hours... EVERY day to do whatever we CHOOSE. There is the key, we choose what we do with our time. Each minute is so valuable. Ephesians 5:16 says: "Make the most of EVERY opportunity in these evil days." We are either spending our time investing in this life or the next. When you do EVERYTHING for the Lord you are investing in eternity because what we do FOR HIM lasts forever. Now that's cool. Colossians 3:23-24 says: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,  since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Good stuff. Convicting stuff. Encouraging stuff.

1. WE DON'T LIKE SPENDING MONEY.  What does buying things have to do with having more time?! Well, if you don't go somewhere to buy things you are saving time. Shopping takes lots of time. Buying things often means clutter. Clutter is stuff that takes your time. Everything we buy becomes something else for us to take care of, to clean, to find a spot for... Everything we buy takes our time. When you don't buy much of anything you have more time!

2. WE BARELY GO ANYWHERE.  We live next to the church where my husband works and where the majority of our social functions happen. Not all of you have this luxury I understand. We (my husband and I) are homebodies anyway and so we aren't tempted to go places anyway. Just to give you an example of how much we are homebodies I will tell you this: our van showed that we should have gone in for an oil change a YEAR AGO because that is when the average person would have traveled 3,000 miles. We were at like the 2,000 mile mark. Driving places takes time too. The less you drive the more time you have to do other things that you decide matter more.

3. I DON'T READ BOOKS. (or at least finish them). Books are great. I love books. I just never finish them. I try and get out of them what I NEED. They are a resource but I don't want them to be a "time sucker". Use things like books, don't let them use you. There is so much good stuff on the internet too that often puts into a shorter form what books are trying to portray. There is SO much info on homemaking, recipes, being a godly wife, a good mom, commentaries etc. that are on-line in a condensed form. And remember if you don't buy it you don't have to shop for it and it won't clutter up your home and give you something else to clean up and therefore you have more time!

4. WE HOME SCHOOL. Homeschooling frees up time in some ways and takes it in others. Obviously I have to take time to teach my children. But this is one of the things I decided is WELL WORTH MY TIME. It frees time up because we don't have to get up and going and out the door and driving somewhere. We are at school all the time :) My kids have more time too because of it! Getting done with school work by noon frees up lots of time (having no homework helps too!)

5. AS OF NOW, WE DON'T DO SPORTS. Sports seem to be a major time sucker for lots of families. Which is fine if that family has decided that that is something that is very important. Scott and I have discussed sports at length. We are thinking of letting one child pick one sport a year. That way we can go as a family and support that child. We also want to teach our children to look at sports from an eternal perspective (just like we want them to look at all things in life). If and when we do sports we want our child to represent Christ well in their sport and to share the gospel/invite their teammates to church etc. How well our kids do in sports has no eternal value unless we seek to do it for the Lord and I doubt He cares if we take first place or not.

6. I AM NOT A PERFECTIONIST. (sometimes I wish I was a little more than I am :) I think perfectionists have a tendency to spend a lot of time on things. They want it to be perfect after all! I am happy with things being done. Just done. Not perfect. Take this blog for example. It is far from perfect. My goal is not to have a beautiful impressive blog, my goal is to encourage my sisters in Christ.

I am happy to have my house looking nice and picked up and but maybe not necessarily immaculate. We should do things well, because as I said earlier everything we do should be done for the Lord, but we don't want to be consumed by things just so they can be perfect. Don't be a Martha concerned about many things that don't matter in light of eternity. Be a Mary. Seek the Lord. Seek to serve Him and please Him. Don't seek to impress others.

"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”-Luke 10:38-42

Don't be a perfectionist. Be a Mary. Look to invest in things that can't be taken away from you. Things of eternal value.

7. I DON'T MAKE A FUSS OVER MEALS. I think some women spend a lot of time planning meals, cooking meals, cleaning up after meals. I keep things simple. Take today for example. I used one skillet to make the whole family scrambled eggs with cheese for breakfast. For lunch the kids had peanut butter and chocolate chip (just a few :) sandwich on whole grain bread. For dinner tonight we are having leftovers. As long as your family is eating healthy I don't think it matters how fancy/complicated it is.
 
"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit..."Romans 14:17


8. I DON'T HAVE MANY HOBBIES. This is a big one. I have seen many women get into hobbies and it takes over their time. I don't sew, play sports, make things etc. This frees up lots of time. There is nothing wrong with hobbies, just don't let them be another time sucker in your life. Now blogging is a hobby but it is one that I think has eternal value. Hopefully it is encouraging people in their walks with the Lord and I am excited for my children to be able to read it when they are older. I would have loved it if my mom did something like this for me to look back on and read! I also enjoy facebook and view it as a hobby of sorts but I see it as a eternal hobby because I am able to hopefully encouraging people in their walks with the Lord. Choose your hobbies wisely and prayerfully.

9. I DON'T TALK ON THE PHONE OR HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS MUCH. Need I say more? Going out even one day a week really puts me behind on laundry, house cleaning, time with kids, homeschooling etc. Talking on the phone does the same thing. I have plenty social time with all the activities at church, I don't need to add more to my plate.

10. I AM NOT AFRAID TO SAY NO. This may be the most important. I don't know if it is a woman thing or what but we seem to struggle with telling people no. This is why it is so important to sit down with your husband and talk about priorities. What are you going to make your life about? What are you going to allow to take your time? Once you figure that out you can figure out what to say no to. 

11. I LOOK FOR WAYS TO MULTITASK. Multitasking gives us lots of extra time. Doing two things at once always helps! For example, if I'm on the phone (even though like I said I barely am) I try to unload the dishwasher, clean counters, clear the table, sweep etc. While cleaning the kitchen I always try to listen to a sermon or the audio bible. Look for ways to multitask.

We all have 24 hours. We all have time to find. We all have to choose what we will do with our time.  Be intentional with how you spend your time.
 
"Do you love life? Then do not waste time for that is what life is made of." anonymous quote 

Sorry about the button... I just couldn't help myself! :)

The God Who Sees You

"Sarah mistreated Hagar; so she (Hagar) fled from her (Sarah). The angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert...And He said, “Hagar, slave of Sarah, where have you come from, and where are you going?” “I’m running away from my mistress Sarah,” she answered. Then the angel of the Lord told her:...“You are now pregnant and you will give birth to a son. You shall name him Ishmael, for the Lord has heard of your misery. She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

No one seemed to care about Hagar, no one but El Roi. El Roi is the Hebrew name Hagar gave God. It means, “You are the God who sees me.” Isn’t that beautiful?! I never tire of reading that…. "You are the God who sees me”.

A godly mother KNOWS the God who sees her. She recognizes He is always near. A worldly mother is only seen by God. She knows ABOUT Him but in her mind He is very far away.

He is the God who sees you! He sees it all. He sees you as much as if there were nobody else in the world for him to look at. Just as God saw Hagar He sees you. And if He can see you, surely he can hear you. This is why it is so perfect that Ishmael’s name means: God hears! She called on the Lord and named Him El Roi, "the God who sees me" and and she named her son: Ishmael which means "God Hears". Hagar knew her God as a God who sees her and hears her and we should too. Sometimes you may feel like Hagar. Cast out. Wanting to flee. Tired of submitting. But please recognize that you serve a God who sees you in your suffering and He is for you and will bless you for your obedience to Him.

Please remember also that God does not merely note your actions and He does not simply notice what is the appearance of your countenance like people do; He sees what you are thinking of; He looks within. God has a window into your heart. This should sober us and encourage us at the same time.

R. C. Sproul said: "There are many things in my life that I do not want to put under the gaze of Christ. Yet I know there is nothing hidden from Him. It would be one thing for Him to love us if we could fool Him into thinking that we were better than we actually are. But He knows better. He knows all there is to know about us, including those things that could destroy our reputation. He is aware of every skeleton in every closet. And He loves us."

He sees it all! Not just the big things but the small. Sometimes it feels like my day is filled with just “small things”. Changing diapers, wiping down counters, making pb&js, wiping snotty noses, breaking up squabbles, washing dishes, shopping, holding a fussy kid ...and then I start over again the next day.


God instructs us to not despise the days of small things in the book of Zechariah. He was a prophet and during his time there was a man named Zerubbabel. He had the responsibility to finish the work of rebuilding the temple. Things had been stalled, and Zerubbabel needed encouragement to carry on the work. Just like we often need encouragement to carry on our work. Zech. 4:6 says: “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ says the Lord of hosts.” Isn't that encouraging? The Lord would say the same thing to us as moms. It is by His Spirit that we are able to lay a foundation day in and out for our children even though at times it may feel like our work has stalled...or is not going as planned…or it is exhausting us emotionally and physically. It is not by our power or might that we can finish this great work. It is through our relationship with God and our utter dependence on Him that we can lay a foundation for our children.

Later on in chapter 4 vs. 10 it says: "Moreover the word of the Lord came to me, saying: 'The hands of Zerubbabel have laid the foundation of this temple; his hands shall also finish it...For who has despised the day of small things?'" 


Just like Zerubbabel we are laying a foundation that our hands must finish. Day in and day out we pile small things on top of small things making a big thing. We may not be building an actual temple for the Lord but hopefully our homes are serving as a sort of temple for Him to dwell in. We are building and pouring into our children's lives for Him everyday.

 
David Guzik said: "When Satan tempts us to despise the day of small things, he shines as an outstanding liar because he fears the day of small things in our life because he sees what great things God does in them and brings out of them."

Our days are filled with small things moms! Do not despise them. They are laying a foundation for our children that remains for life.

Keep in the forefront of your mind that you are serving a God who sees you. He sees when you wash the dishes for the umpteenth time, or serve your husband when you would rather not, or patiently endure another day of sibling rivalries.

A few months back my friend Kandie sent me a great video that relates to what I am talking about perfectly. I wanted to share it with you all!

Watch it here!

You may feel invisible. But to Him you are very visible.

In closing I would like to share some encouraging words from author Sally Clark. She said: 

“It is not the grand, noble accomplishments that are the most profoundly valuable to God. It is the unnoticed, the invisible practicing of being faithful, courageous when no one else is looking, that become the jewels of our faith in the eyes of God.

Accepting a loud, boisterous child and seeking to be patient and gentle over and over again...Working beyond exhaustion and getting up in the middle of the night, again, for a sick child, when there was no one to help or anyone to be a friend. Enduring by choice the heavy burdens of the tests of marriage.

Cleaning up messes one more time. Making another homemade meal when a nap or getting far away seemed more desirable. Having one more devotional in the midst of wiggly, distracted children and believing that somehow eternity was entering their hearts. These, and more, are the noble and valiant, priceless works of motherhood. Take courage today. Your labor is not in vain.” 

You are serving a God who sees you.