Thursday, January 8, 2015
The Stay At Home Mom Who Doesn't Stay Home
I have often heard that stay at home moms get a hard time for "just staying at home." But I would say most of us stay at home moms aren't really staying at home very much. It seems now we are busier than ever and our homes are not what they should be. We also have these crazy things called automobiles and automobiles bring a lot more temptations and possibilities out there to make us want to venture outside our four walls often... probably more often than we should.
First I would like to give a disclaimer. There is nothing wrong with going places, going out with friends, shopping etc. The problem is, for many stay at home moms, home is no longer where they are spending most of their time. Our homes are losing out because our hearts are wandering and longing for more than "just keeping the home." I believe God will guide you and convict you. It is of utmost importance that we are sensitive to the Spirit's leading in this and that we stay home more if that is what He wants of us.
I am finding that my desire to leave home is decreasing greatly with each child. Homeschooling, laundry, keeping the home, playing with my children, praying with them, training them, cooking... all these things take lots of time and even more so as God adds more children to our family.
In many ways stay at home moms can become busybodies, but not busy in their homes as the Lord would want. This verse, talking about women, describes perfectly what I am saying: "Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to." (1 Tim. 5:13) Some of us "stay at home" moms are in the habit of being idle and going from house to house... or store to store... or event after event.
There are always things out there to distract us from our homes ladies! Be on guard. Be aware. Pray and ask the Lord how He would have you spend your time. How would God say we are doing in our "employment" as stay at home moms? Are we treating it as our profession and making it a priority or do we look for ways to "get out of work?" I know when I am "out and about", even for just one day, that I get behind. But when I purpose to stay home and focus on the tasks at hand I find I am able to keep my head above water.
One practical way to limit outings is to be picky and purposeful in what you and your children do outside the home. Some families spend way more time outside the four walls of their house than in their house. Our homes should be a place of refuge and togetherness, not just a place we land to go to sleep.
Scott and I are not doing any sports right now with the children and I think that helps with our time together at home. Homeschooling obviously contributes greatly to me staying at home. Shopping once a week rather than multiple times a week helps too.
You can also be at home and not really be AT HOME. When you are on the phone it's as if you aren't there. To me, to be "at home" means to be completely available to your home and the people in it. When we are on facebook or blogging our minds are distracted as well. It takes intention not only to be physically at home but emotionally too!
A true "stay at home mom" sees the home as her primary place of influence. She invests in it and her family more than anything or anyone else. God is able to give us great contentment in our homes if we seek it because He desires for us to be "keepers of them" (Titus 2:5) and as we obey Him with a cheerful and thankful heart, contentment will follow.
"Father, I know Your Word calls me to manage my home, to be busy there and to keep it well. Please remind me of these truths when my heart and mind are tempted to wander and covet what others do. Stir in me a greater desire to be at home and enjoy this sphere of influence You have called me to! Thank you for the privilege of being a stay at home mom. I pray I would grow to appreciate it more and more each day. Help me to never be like the woman in Proverbs 7:11 which says: 'She is loud and wayward; her feet do not stay at home...' Remind me of the benefits of my feet staying at home."