Thursday, September 25, 2014

Trusting God with Our Children

What do you fear most as a mom? If you're like me it's that something would happen to one of my children and that they would die. 

Every year around this time the news lights up with lots of things to scare us as mothers. So far it's the scare of the "respiratory virus". Before that it was the swine flu or the west nile virus. Now there are reports of the ebola virus spreading in Africa and many are afraid of it coming here. Ladies, hear me on this, there are COUNTLESS THINGS TO FEAR. Sickness and death are inevitable and "around the corner". Sadly, the enemy takes many Christian moms captive and holds them in bondage with many fears of many things. 

My little brother was diagnosed with a whelms tumor when he was two. It was so big it constituted half his body weight. I remember watching my mom sitting in her room holding my little brother sobbing when we got the phone call. It was a terrible, frightening time. Numerous doctors said he would not live. He did. We just celebrated his 27th birthday. 

I don't know if some of my overwhelming fears have anything to do with my childhood but I can tell you that by God's grace, He is relieving me of these fears! By His grace I am growing in my trust in Him and therefore my fears are becoming less and less. Trust in God is fear's kryptonite. My Father is giving me an eternal perspective on death and life and it is through this perspective that I can live more fully! I feel the chains of fear being loosened and it makes it much easier to breathe. 

There are hundreds of terrible things that COULD happen to our children every day. If we CHOOSE to focus on these things the enemy will rejoice because he knows he has taken our hearts captive. Our hearts cannot be captive to two masters. We are either serving the Lord or something else and for many of us moms we are continually "serving" fear. We are at it's beckon call. When we see another report of a child dying from some virus our hearts are taken captive and we lose that eternal perspective. When we hear of some flu bug going around or even a terrible cold we can be gripped with fear of one of our children getting it. We lose our trust in God and are weighed down with anxiety as we contemplate all the ways WE (not God) must protect our children. Who are we showing our children that we believe is in control of all things?

"That people may know, from the rising of the sun and from the west, that there is none besides me; I am the Lord, and there is no other. I form light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity, I am the Lord, who does all these things." (Isaiah 45:6-7)

Now, does this mean we "throw common sense to the wind" and do nothing to protect our children? Absolutely not. Protecting our children is a God given instinct. However, what does God want us to recognize? He wants us to recognize control was never ours to begin with. He has given us these beautiful gifts called children but we must come to grips with the fact that they are ultimately His. We are to steward them, and part of that stewardship is watching out for their well-being, but He is their Creator... He gives and takes away.

The joy that comes in recognizing that death is not the end is life-giving. The fear that comes when we obsess over all the possible sicknesses our children can get zaps the life out of us. EVEN IF God were to take one of our children, EVEN IF some of our biggest fears come true, we can rest in knowing that even though our children's (and our) days our numbered, we have eternity to look forward to. THIS IS NOT OUR HOME. We model for our children in many ways if we truly believe that or not.

Mothers bound by fear model to their children that they can't trust God and that this life is of utmost importance. Mothers who trust God with their children model for them what true faith looks like. When we are not held captive to anxieties that come with worrying about every sickness or every "what if" we show our children what it means to put our lives in the hands of the living God.

Our greatest concern for our children should not revolve around how they are physically but how they are spiritually. John said: "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth."(3 John 1:4) The opposite could be true as well: I have no greater sadness to hear that my children are not walking in the truth. I pray my main concern be my children's spiritual well-being. May we as mothers fight with all our might daily to pray for them and to teach them about the ways of the Lord, warning them about the ways of the world. May we be modeling for them what it looks like to live a life of faith and TRUST. "... death is not your greatest enemy. Death brings a temporary sadness, a time of great loneliness, but in Christ there is always hope. Your greatest enemies are those vying for your child’s soul."-Debi Pearl

What are you modeling for your children? What holds your heart captive? Are fears making you feel like you are drowning whenever the flu season comes around?

Mediate on truth, not on your fears.


"In his hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind." (Job 12:10)

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)

Monday, September 8, 2014

My Top 10 Mothering Tips

I do not consider myself an "experienced mother". I have four children with one on the way. The ages of my kiddos are: 7, 5, 4 and 1.5. Even though I have only been at this for 7 years I would love to share with you the top 10 things I like to remind myself of on this beautiful journey called motherhood.

#1 Tell them how you feel about them. Scott and I have encountered MANY grown adult men and women that are still upset and hurt by the lack of love that was communicated to them as a child. I am not sure what it is that prevents us from verbalizing positive things to our children OFTEN but we need to stop it! When your son opens the door for you thank him and compliment him for being such a gentleman. When your daughter wakes up in the morning wrap your arms around her and tell her how thankful you are to have another day with such a special lady. When your toddler is proud of something "little" they have accomplished encourage them with a "good job sweetie!". Don't underestimate the importance of saying good things to your children out loud. And while you're at it, accompany your praise with a gentle touch, hug or kiss on the cheek. Children crave not only words of affirmation but physical affirmation!

#2 Look for ways to teach them about their Creator. They can't hear about their God enough. They can't hear about His love for them enough! Especially in a world that is seeking with all it's might to teach them there is no God and that they were certainly not created! If our children don't hear about the Lord from us they will hear plenty of negative, anti-God, anti-creation, anti-bible hoopla from everywhere else. There is a battle for your child's soul, be sure to stand in the way of the enemy winning!

#3 Live out what you preach. Children start to grasp at a young age if a parent's words aren't matching what they are preaching! They are learning from you what it means to be honest and have integrity. If you tell them God wants us to be content with what we have then you better practice contentment. If you tell them to be thankful for what they get then you better be thankful

when you don't get what you want. If you tell them there is a loving God that cares for them then you better demonstrate your faith in Him when the going gets tough. If you tell them it's important to read your bible make sure you are reading it often. If you tell them it's important to follow through and keep their commitments then you better be consistent and do what you said you would do with them. If you teach them to trust God in all things demonstrate your trust in God by entrusting your children to Him. Don't say it if you don't want to live it! p.s we all mess this one up... when you do, be quick to recognize it in front of your children and apologize.

#4 Have fun! For goodness sakes, don't be a stick in the mud! Who wants to live with a fuddy-duddy-grumpy-head? I don't! It's hard for me to remember sometimes in the midst of dirty laundry, dirty diapers, dirty dishes and dirty floors to be happy but if I don't remember then I am simply training my children to not be happy in the midst of day to day life as well. Feeling down? Crank up your favorite worship music and sing praises to your King! This will speak volumes to your children when they see that you are tempted to be in a bad mood but you CHOOSE to worship instead. Run through the sprinkler with them. Tell silly jokes. Play with them outside. Read to them. Their life with you is their life, make it enjoyable.

#5 Be good to their daddy. The power we have to bring our children joy through how we treat our husband is amazing. The power we also have to bring our children sadness through how we treat our husband is sobering. There have been many "decent moms" that destroy their witness by how poorly they treat their husbands. One of the very best things you can do for your children is to treat their daddy well. Respect him. Honor him. Submit to his leading. Verbally praise him in front of the kids when he is around and when he isn't around. Give him a kiss and hug when he leaves

for work and gets home from work. Look for ways to bless him WITH the children. Present a united front, let them know you are a team. Put him first. You can't separate how you are as a mom from how you are as a wife. Be a blessing to him and you will in turn bless them.

#6-Remember to keep what is important important- It is so easy to misplace our priorities. We can slip into the pattern of making things more important than people without even noticing! For example, when your child breaks something, do you act like it's the end of the world? Do you say harsh things over something temporary? Worldly people can have nice, clean, orderly homes (not that there is anything wrong with those kinds of homes! I strive for that to some extent) but they will never have Christ-centered homes! Our homes should be filled with fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. That's what we want our homes to be overflowing with! If we want our children to grow up with an eternal perspective then we have to have one ourselves. Meditate on and memorize 2 Cor. 4:16-18 and Col. 3:1-2 as a family. Remind your children that we are just pilgrims passing through and that our true home is with the Father. Make the things the Lord says are important important in your home. Be more of a Mary and less of a Martha.

#7 Discipline them BEFORE you get angry- I really stink at this. I tend to want to spank my children when they should have been
spanked long before that and then I feel guilty because I feel like I am training them to misbehave and not listen to me until I get "really mad". Discipline your children when they disobey. Don't teach them to disobey by delaying discipline. And remember, discipline IS the loving thing to do "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them." Proverbs 13:24

#8 Spend QUALITY time with them- It's easy to think that just because you're in the same room as your kids that you are spending time with them... the question is what kind of time? Just because time is passing doesn't mean you are spending quality time with them. Spending quality time with our kiddos takes GREAT intention and sacrifice. Honestly, I don't like to play. I am not a "playful" kind of gal. I don't like games. But this is such an important way to communicate to my kiddos that I love them. All kids enjoy quality time with their parents.

#9 Be approachable
- Your kids are going to have lots of questions as they grow up. Questions about girl and boys. Questions about their faith. Questions about their bodies. Questions about marriage. Questions about sin. We must ask ourselves: "Am I approachable? Do my children feel comfortable coming to me with their struggles and doubts?" If we are not approachable
then our children will look for someone or something that is... the internet for example. The last place we want our children going with their questions is the internet. Make it clear to your children verbally, with your demeanor and your responses to their questions, that you are approachable.

#10 Be who you want them to remember- Do you want your children's memories to be filled with images of you losing your temper? Do you want them to remember you nagging their father constantly about not doing things your way? Do you want them to remember you on your phone or computer more than you were with them? Start living today what you want them to remember when they grow up and leave the home.

All of these are difficult. All of these are areas I fail in. We need the Lord's help to train our children in the way they should go and to love them as He has loved us. Oftentimes when I think of motherhood I think of this verse:
"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." (1 Cor. 10:13) All moms all over the world are tempted to "lose it" with their children, to take for granted the time they have with them, to nag their husbands and to be lazy in their parenting BUT God is faithful and He will provide a way out from all those temptations. Be in the Word, sing to Him and pray.

What about you? Leave some of your top mothering tips in the comment section below!

Top Ten Ways To Be Miserable In Your Local Church Body

#1 Forget that your pastor is a sinner.
Yep. Dwell on the fact that he is not perfect as often as possible and make sure to meditate on all his faults.

#2 Forget that the entire leadership is made up of sinners. While you are thinking about all your pastor's weaknesses be sure to look for all the weaknesses in all the leadership. Criticize their every decision and talk to others, but don't ever go to them with your concerns.

#3 Forget that your brothers and sisters in Christ are all sinners.
This is a really important one. Go to church expecting everyone to be perfect. Get really upset when someone doesn't notice you or someone offends you. Then leave the church and tell people you don't go to church because it's filled with hypocrites.

#4 Forget you are a sinner.  Like numbers one through three instruct, focus on everyone else's faults, but do your best to forget about anything you do wrong
. And since you're perfect nobody should ever wrong you. Expect the most out of everyone except yourself and get really angry when people don't live up to your standards. 

#5 Don't be involved, but then complain that you don't know anybody, and make sure to point out how your church is filled with cliques. This one is SURE to make you miserable! Make sure you are involved in the least amount of activities and events, but then make complaints like, "Nobody ever says hi to me" or "Nobody knows me." Consistently whine about all the cliques in your church and how impossible it is to get to know anyone.

#6 Get upset every Sunday about the music. Church bodies all over the world are divided over music; you can easily use this area to make yourself miserable. Make sure you criticize every song the music leader chooses and make fun of him if he makes a mistake. Bemoan how hard it is for you to listen to the hymns (if you don't like hymns) and whine about how lame the contemporary songs are if you don't like those. Be sure to do this with the leadership constantly. Forget about the fact that there is only one instance of Jesus singing (and even then it was only one song), but make sure the music in your church is one of THEE most important issues.

#7 Don't ever invite people over to your house. Then be sure to get really upset that no one ever invites you over.

#8 Wait around for the leadership to do everything, and complain about all of your ideas that aren't followed immediately. Come up with things your church SHOULD be doing, but don't do it yourself and get really angry when your pastor says, "That sounds like a great idea! Why don't you go ahead and head up that ministry?" Never offer to help serve in the areas you see there is a need.

#9 Only come to Sunday morning service and then get mad because you and your family aren't "growing." Be sure to get angry that your church body (the pastor in particular) is not meeting your family's spiritual needs when you only come to one service a week (maybe less) and are not looking for other ways to grow.

#10 Forget that the local church body is about Jesus and not you. This is THE MOST IMPORTANT AND VITAL WAY TO BE MISERABLE in your local church body. Forget that the church is for Christ and His honor, glory and purposes and make it for your honor, glory and purposes! Make church all about you!

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

When Helping Others Is No Longer Helping... Or Loving

There is A LOT in the bible about helping others... and/or thinking of others first...

"Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God." (Hebrews 13:16)

"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Phil. 2:4)

"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." (Gal. 6:2)

Here's the hardest exhortation from Christ on helping others:

"Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.32 “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful." (Luke 6:27-36)

Yowzers. If that's all you read in the bible well by golly you would be straight up wrong to not help EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT WANTED SOMETHING. And who can forget the "Good Samaritan"?!

Here's the important part though, there are other scriptures that give insight into the fact that sometimes helping people is really no longer helping them. And as always, look at Scripture in light of Scripture.

"For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living. As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good. If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person, and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed." (2 Thess. 3:10-15)

Let's dissect these verses a bit...

First, notice how Paul says it is a COMMAND to not help those who are unwilling to work. Food is one of the bare necessities of life and yet Paul says if someone won't work don't even give them food. That doesn't seem very helpful! Why would Paul command that? Well, hunger is a great motivator :) God designed us to work. Work is a good thing. God instituted work BEFORE the fall, it is not part of the curse. It is no longer helping someone when you give to those who are not willing to work. It is in fact unloving to continue to give to them because you are taking away an opportunity for God to work through trials to bring them to Himself and get them to work.

Secondly, notice toward the end that Paul says if someone is not willing to obey this command (along with whatever else he commands in the letter) to have NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM. Well geez Paul, that doesn't seem very loving at all either! But if the Word of God commands it then it is the loving thing to do! When people are shut out, or not provided for, God can often use that in their lives to cry out to Him and to seek to do right. But if people keep enabling then they see no need for God and don't experience His work in their life through suffering.

Let's look at another verse: "For each will have to bear his own load." (Gal.6:5) It is good for each of us to bear our own load. We should be responsible hard working adults enjoying the lot the Lord has given us. What is my load? My home, my husband and my children. But right before verse 5 in verse 2 it instructs us to bear one another burdens... what is the difference between a burden and our load? A burden may be when someone in the family is very ill and I need extra help. Or when I have a brand new baby and I am pulled in many directions. You get the idea. We SHOULD carry one another's burdens but we should each bear our own load. When we take another's load and put it on our back as if it were a burden, we are taking on something we don't need to or are called to and we could even be taking away from potential growth and opportunity for that person!

I have seen many well meaning parents take on their children's loads only to regret it big time.
Their children get to be in there thirties, forties.... etc. and they are still children because they never learned how to carry their own load! This also happens in friendships and with other family members. God designed us (within reason because I know there are legitimate/difficult handicaps) to grow in our ability to take care of ourselves and bear our own load. When others come and "rescue" us from this process they stunt our growth.

The book of proverbs is full of principles that are almost always true. For example: "A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich." (Prov. 10:4) 

Often times, people are in poverty because of a bad decision or many bad decisions (ie. buying what you can't afford over and over or in the case of this verse laziness). I know that sounds harsh... but I think it's often the case (not always). You would not believe the sense of entitlement we get from so many as a pastor and pastor's wife. People often call the church expecting us to bail them out of bad decisions and all we ask is that they come to a church service so we can meet them, most aren't even willing to do that!

Proverbs is full of warnings of dealing with fools and often promotes staying away from them. Sometimes the best thing for a fool is to find himself alone and desperate so that He can cry out to his Maker and find out why he is in the mess he is in. Sometimes the very best thing for a fool to do is "hit rock bottom" so that he is motivated enough to change. If people constantly rescue fools why should they change?

"Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge." (Prov. 14:7)

There are actually many places in Scripture (including the verses from 2 Thess. above) that encourage us to avoid/have nothing to do with someone and if we are called to have nothing to do with them then surely we are not to help them.

"For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. " (2 Tim. 3:2-5)

"Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them." Titus 3:10

"Anyone who goes too far and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God; the one who abides in the teaching, he has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house, and do not give him a greeting for the one who gives him a greeting participates in his evil deeds." (2 John 1:9-11)

Now since God is love we must believe His instructions here are loving. The best thing for people like this, described in these verses, is to stay away because hopefully they come to their senses. Think of the prodigal son, it would have been bad if someone chased him or helped him when he was down and out! Read this: "he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything." (Luke 15:16) The very next verse says: "he came to himself..." Imagine if someone would have given him what he wanted? Maybe he never would have came to himself and returned to the Father!

My husband does a good job at helping when God would have him help or not helping when that is what God would have him do. That doesn't mean we have done it perfectly. There is one time in particular where we helped a woman over and over only to have it thrown in our face (we were warned). In the long run, us helping her did not benefit her at all... it actually only made things worse. Now we have no relationship with her and she is bitter. 

One of my very favorite non-enabling stories is about a mom and a son. This young man was doing drugs and when he came to his mom's house to try and get "help" she said: "I'm going to do this because I love you." And then she shut the door in his face and locked the door. Her son said: "She wouldn't even give me a taco!" :) And then, she called the cops on him and had him arrested! His testimony was that that was the most loving thing she could have done. He came to truly know Christ in jail! The best way for her to help him was to not. The best way for her to love him was to call the cops.

Which reminds me, ladies, don't buck against your husbands leading in these matters. Present your side and let him lead. Even if he made the wrong decision, God will honor your submission to your husband. There may be times you really want to help someone (and it may even be a wonderful, biblical time to do so) but your husband doesn't, explain to your husband your thoughts and move on, allowing him to make the final decision and not throwing it in his face later if he was wrong. 

Lastly, mercy triumphs over judgment. (James 2:13) More often than not, we should probably help. Pray for discernment! Pray for wisdom! Ask God: would helping this person shortchange the growth you would like to see in their life? He delights in His children seeking His leading in all things.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Should You Have Your Children Say "The Sinner's Prayer"?

I have never said "the sinners prayer".  I don't recall an exact time and place that I "officially became a Christian." This concerns some people regarding my salvation. But is the sinners prayer biblical? Do you see anywhere in Scripture that says: "Say this prayer and you will be saved"? No. It's not in there. Let me tell you what is in there:

"Nicodemus said to him, 'How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born? Jesus answered, 'Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘YOU MUST BE BORN AGAIN.’" (John 3:3-7)

There is a message out there in modern day Christianity that screams: "You must have a day and time that you 'invited Jesus into your heart to know when you were officially saved." But according to Christ, what we MUST do is be born again. We must be a new creation in which there is evidence of the old passing away and God making all things new. That's what I want to teach my kids. 

I went to church growing up, that didn't make me a Christian either, but when I REPENTED FROM MY WORLDLY LIFE AND TURNED TOWARD HIM I WAS SAVED. I remember at the age of 19 feeling the Holy Spirit work mightily in my life calling me out of this world and beckoning me to become a true child of God. I answered His call and I was born again.

I am struggling against "the old man" everyday. But the key is, there is a struggle. "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." (Romans 7:15) When someone is born again their new self battles the old self (with the help of Christ!) "For this purpose also I labor, striving according to His power, which mightily works within me." (Col. 1:29)

Just a couple days ago, one of our children said: "Ah, I don't believe in Jesus." I replied: "That is not a light thing to say. Those who choose to not believe in Christ and surrender to Him are choosing hell." The child responded: "Just kidding!" :) Children are fickle and the bible says foolishness is bound up in their hearts (prov. 22:15). I have been at the end of vbs where the children "come forward and say the sinners prayer" and it's a lot of the same children that came forward the year before... are they getting saved again? That is one of the dangerous pitfalls in circles that I have seen where the sinner's prayer is mandatory. This man testifies to those sorts of dangers here.

Some people are finding FALSE PEACE in saying the sinner's prayer 20 years ago even though there is no sign of them being born again. The worst thing we can do is reassure someone that they are saved when in fact there is no evidence of it in their life, simply because they said some words.
It's important to know also that belief is not evidence enough. "You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that--and shudder." (James 2:19) Many said a prayer and "believe" and are resting on false teaching as a means of salvation. Christ Himself said: "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. 'Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?'"And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS.'" (Matt. 7:21-23)

That is a terrifying set of verses. Look at the ending: "Depart from Me, you who PRACTICE lawlessness." One way to evaluate your life, to see if Christ truly knows you, is to see what you practice. Do you practice lawlessness? Do you live like the world all the while claiming to know Him? Are you seeking Him daily and growing in your faith? Is there evidence that you are born again? Don't rest on some prayer that you said years ago because you thought that was a means to salvation! When the Holy Spirit of the living God comes and resides in someone you better believe there will be a change! You better believe He will continue to change you! "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil. 1:6)

All of this explains why my husband and I choose not to practice the sinner's prayer with our kids. We don't want to be their source of a false salvation. Salvation is not based on words but on an act of God. There will be evidence of saving faith in our children's lives. Jesus Himself makes this clear:  “For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. 'Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?'" (Luke 6:43-46) 

How horrible would it be to tell your child, who lives like the world and shows no evidence of being born again, that they are saved because they said a prayer?! 

Lastly, is it possible to say the sinner's prayer and be truly saved? My answer: YES. "if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. "For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the Scripture says, 'Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.' For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him.
For 'whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.'" (Rom. 10:9-13).

Confessing with our mouths that Jesus is Lord and that God raised Him from the dead is never a bad thing IF it is done out of GENUINE FAITH/SALVATION. The problem is many confess Lord, Lord with their mouths like I stated earlier and yet Christ said He never knew them.  Confession alone is not enough (the entire book of James makes that clear). We must look at these verses in Romans (just like we should look at ALL verses) in light of the ENTIRE BIBLE and not isolate them justifying why we think an ungodly person is saved because they repeated a prayer after someone one day.

What we do do with our children:

1. We pray for them everyday (
Scott in particular). Each night Scott asks the Lord that our children would come to know Him at the earliest possible time. We would love it if our children were genuinely saved at a young age. What a joy that would be! Their lives would be saved from so much heartache if they truly come to KNOW HIM early on.

2. We share the gospel with them often. Can we really hear the Good News enough? During our family devotionals Scott often references the gospel and we have explained it numerous times to our children. We believe that the Word does not return void and so we continue to trust God to work in their hearts and we wash them in the water of the Word.

3. We tell them the truth.  

*We let them know that they don't get to heaven through mommy and daddy's faith. Their faith has to be their own.  
*We also, tell our children that there will be evidence of saving faith.
*And finally, we tell them to "count the cost" wh
en it comes to Christianity. We emphasize that being a Christian is not a light matter or something to consider in passing. Jesus said: "
If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be My disciple." (Luke 14:26-33)

For further study please consider watching these videos with John MacArthur, Paul Washer, Wretched tv and David Platt.