Friday, May 17, 2013

Struggle #3-Perfectionism

This is part three of my five part series on common struggles that women face. To read about struggle #1 (clutter) go here. Or to read about #2 (loneliness) go here.

Definition of perfectionism
: any of various doctrines holding that religious, moral, social or political perfection is attainable (when it's not!!). A personal standard, attitude, or philosophy that DEMANDS perfection and REJECTS anything less (kind of like the guy below). 

Someone once said that a perfectionist is a person who takes great pains and passes them on to others. Families with perfectionists for mothers suffer. Perfectionists have a hard time making and keeping friends. They are not very happy because they know they will never be able to live up to their own unrealistic expectations and no one else will either. Our unrealistic expectations (especially on our children) can very much affect them, because they feel they can never measure up. 

If the bible says no one is good, not one, then certainly no one is perfect, no not one, except the perfect Son of God.

This is actually something I don't struggle with... In fact I could probably use a big dose of perfectionism. In college I just wanted to get a C (or even a D). I didn't care. I just wanted the degree. My house is never spotless. But I try to keep it picked up. I don't stress about people seeing my place a mess (as if we don't all have messes at some point!) or me a mess.

If I am going to work on perfecting something I would actually like to work on perfecting my relationship with the Lord. It may be tempting to be perfect in ways that make NO difference in light of eternity. But we should seek and love Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. Let's work on perfecting that :)

Perfectionism is an illusion ladies. Don't believe in it. Don't practice it. It's not real. Life is a mess. A big mess. But we have a big Lord. Do whatever you do as unto Him but always recognize that you are a fallen, wretched sinner in need of a PERFECT Savior.

p.s. something to keep in mind when working on cleaning your home, organizing your home, "perfecting" your home/schedule is to keep your husband in the forefront of your mind. Talk to him. Ask him what he thinks is important. I have met so many women who spend so much time on things that don't matter to their men! Check in with him. Don't waste your time and energy on things that he doesn't even notice/care about. The bible calls wives to adapt themselves to their husbands. If it's important to him, make it imporant to you.

For example (this is beginning to be a long p.s.... oh well, we all know I'm not a perfectionist!), Scott likes the area by the microwave to be clean, he hates seeing dvds laying around, he doesn't like a lot of coats hanging on our coat rack (he says its for guests coats :)... He doesn't notice if the kitchen floor hasn't been mopped in a week, if the there are dishes in the sink or if I make ridiculously simple dinners all week. 

Find out what your guy likes and focus on that, not the other stuff. :)