Are Your Kids Doing Your Job Mama?

I have been sitting A LOT the last 7 weeks. My morning sickness started at about 6 weeks and I am 13 weeks now. It usually lets up around 17 weeks. I am so looking forward to being on my feet more and being about my normal day to day activities and chores! I hate sitting around like this. But I am thankful for something it has caused me to contemplate.

I am sure you have all heard the saying: "Good parenting is working yourself out of a job." While I get the gist of it, I don't like it overall. Here is why. It feels like I have been out of a job these last 7 weeks as I shout orders from my recliner. I feel like this lazy woman (I know, I'm not...but it FEELS that way) barking at my little servants to do... my job.

We SHOULD train our children. They SHOULD be helping us because they live at home too and should be contributing when it comes to it's upkeep. BUT I am noticing something that is happening. I feel like more and more moms are spending more and more time on their computers/i-phones and less and less time keeping the home. Which we are commanded to do.

"...encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, WORKERS AT HOME, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored." Titus 2:4-5

"So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to MANAGE THEIR HOMES and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander." 1 Timothy 5:14 

When we aren't keeping and managing the home we are allowing the word of God to be dishonored and we are allowing the enemy opportunity for slander. 
Keeping the home WELL is no joke. There are many things that can be done everyday to make our homes run more smoothly and efficiently. We as the managers and keepers of the home are deciding everyday how well our homes will run and how chaotic and messy our homes will be. 

In a day and age where we have so many conveniences (dishwasher, vacuums, washer, dryer etc.) there is really no excuse for a home to not be managed/kept well. Some of us, myself included, need to be asking: "Are my kids doing my job?" The Lord has not called our children to manage and keep the home. Yes we should be training them and it will bless them later in life if we do so, but we should never be barking orders from our sofa all day with the laptop and i-phone in front of us because we are too indulgent and selfish. If our homes are falling apart it's on our shoulders.

I will be the first to admit I have no idea what I am doing when it comes to keeping the home. My poor mother always worked full time outside the home and she never really gave any thought to training us. I am starting from scratch AND I am a very un-organzied person by nature. But I know God wants me to keep my home well and so I know He will answer my prayers to be a better at it. I pray to Him for wisdom on how to be the best keeper of the home I can be.

Don't embitter your children toward you. Don't make them question if mom is training them or just being lazy. We are called the keepers of the home and we need to live up to that title. 

I Get My Groceries Delivered AND Save Money!

I love Safeway. I like their quality. I like their options. I just don't like their prices. But here's the good news! I have figured out how to shop at Safeway, get my groceries delivered for free, get a dollar off a gallon at the gas station AND save 25-45% off my grocery bill EVERY time!

Here's how I do it.

1) Go to http://www.safeway.com/.

2) Sign up for: Just For U and for grocery delivery (you will have to sign up for both separately).

3) Go to Just For U and "clip" coupons. It doesn't get much easier than this! You just push the button "add" and it's put on to your account! Easiest couponing ever! ALWAYS look for a 20 cent gas reward coupon. This means for every $100 you spend you will get 20 cents off a gallon. (sometimes even more!) I also just saved $10 off on frozen pizzas with my just for u coupons!

4) Go to your grocery delivery account.

5) Look for the promo codes that you need. Obviously you will want the one for FREE DELIVERY. This will mean that you have to purchase at least $150 worth of groceries (which is easy for me because I shop about every 1-2 weeks) and purchase 5 items from a list. I only buy 5 items that are on sale. Look for other promo codes that apply to your shopping list. For example, I had cereal on my list. I found a promo code that said: Save $3 when you purchase three of these cereals. I looked through the list to find ones that were already on sale. That means I got three bags of cereal already on sale and then an additional dollar off each one with that promo code. All with the push of a button from my comfy chair in the living room! :)

6) Always be sure to check out the buy one get one free sales. You can't beat that.

7) Next click "online savings" and click on "club card specials". Go through your list and only buy what is on the card savings. Always check what items are per ounce to make sure you are getting the best deal. My shopping list sometimes evolves as I shop online to get the best deals. Sometimes I don't get something on my list if it's not on sale.

8) Go to checkout after you have gone through your list and accrued at least $150 worth of groceries and enter your promo codes. Then pick a delivery time. (they have only been late for me once!)

It's like a mama of five littles dream come true!! Someone does the shopping in the store for me, loads it up in the truck, brings it to my door at a time when I am ready for it! Doesn't get any better than that :)

I know some of you out there are like: "I save way more money going here, there and everywhere." It's just not worth the few dollars I might save to drive all over the place wasting more gas and time. Time is a PRICELESS thing for me right now as I am pregnant, homeschooling and keeping a home.

So whatcha think? Gonna try it out?!

Go To Church

We've all heard it: "I don't GO to church because we ARE the church." I get it. I know the body of Christ is the church. But saying: "I am going to the corporate gathering of believers" is too long so we say "I am going to church". Many now say: "I don't go to church anymore. The church left me wounded. It's full of hypocrites."

Here is my response to that. Everyone is wounded in life. Family wounds us. Friends wound us. Church wounds us. Life wounds us. That doesn't mean we check out of all those things. Being hurt is part of life. Those who grow and mature from it are happier in life than those who "just can't move on". 

Being a pastor's wife the last five years has greatly increased my appreciation for the local church. My appreciation for GOING to church...consistently... week after week has grown. I see a difference in the lives of those who sporadically go and those who come every Sunday giving of themselves and being given to.

There is a "movement" to leave church. To walk away. To "do church in homes like the first believers did". I have not seen the sort of accountability and church government I believe God desires in these home churches. There is almost a sort of pride that I see from people I know who are like this. They look down on us silly Christians that meet in a "building". Um... a home is a building too. Ours is just bigger and functions better for how many people come here. Jesus went to the synagogues often. Once Christianity came on the scene there were no church buildings because it had just begun.

I do see the benefit of meeting in homes. That's why our church has so many home fellowships through out the week. I see how they encourage closer relationships and I am thankful for them, but I also see the benefit of having a place to meet corporately. I see the blessing of having a pastor study all week and present the Word of God to us each week as God feeds His sheep through that man.

No local church body is perfect. Just like you aren't perfect. No local church body lacks in hypocrites but I am pretty sure if I asked those who live with you if you are ever hypocritical there would be a resounding yes. The church exists for Christ and His glory, not you and your feelings. Being plugged into a local church body of believers is a blessing not only for you but those around you! It is such a gift to be part of local body of believers that you can benefit from and that can benefit from the gifts God has given you.

Go to church. Go to a church that says: "Turn with me in your bibles to...." Go to a church where there is an emphasis on destroying sin and rejoicing in your salvation. Get plugged into a local body. It provides accountability and encouragement. It provides a place you can consistently go to and feel like home. It provides a family like you have never known.

One of the biggest gifts I have witnessed for myself and for those in our church is the sense of community that we have! Oh the joy to know that if you go through something tough that your church family will definitely be there for you. Oh the joy of mourning with those who mourn and rejoicing with those who rejoice. Sharing life with brothers and sisters in Christ is how God designed us to live and yet so many forfeit this.... You were not meant to live on an island by yourself. You and your family were designed to be living life with your brothers and sisters in Christ through all the ups and downs. You were meant to have relationships with people that endure and withstand all those conflicts and annoyances. 

Don't buy into the lie that you don't need to be part of a local church body. Don't believe that you are too good for all those churches that just "can't get their act together". You're pretty messed up yourself. Just like me and everyone else. 
Once you get plugged in, expect to be let down. Expect to be hurt. Expect to be disappointed. But also expect to grow and be challenged. Expect to be loved. Look for ways to encourage others and don't go to church with such a critical heart. Look for ways to bless others and don't just sit there waiting to be blessed.

Go to church. 

My Christian Friend Had Abortions...

We had our fifth ladies conference here at Woodland Christian Church last week. It was wonderful. The theme was "Finding Hope". I loved every minute of it. But there was one part in particular that was so very special to me. My friend shared "a testimony of hope". She shared how she had abortions and how God has brought hope into her life since then. I asked her permission to share parts of it! I pray it blesses, educates you and humbles you as it did me!

"Abortion has affected me in many ways. I'll start with how it has affected my relationship with God since that relationship has a ripple effect into every aspect of my life.

I have never felt fully forgiven by God, which ultimately has kept me a good arms length away from Him. I constantly asked for forgiveness and was continually repenting. I would talk about being forgiven because I believed what the bible has to say about His forgiveness grace and mercy. Yet I continued to feel like I was not fully embraced. Not intimately nestled under His wing as I know other Christians are.

If that's how I felt with my Lord and Savior, the most loving and gracious Being, you can see how that would pour over into every single relationship I have. Some of you may relate, some of you don't and some of you seasoned Christians know that the the problem lies with me and not Christ.

What changed? How was I able to allow God to fully embrace me as His forgiven, clean precious daughter? Well it's been a process and some of it is very fresh.

I remember the moment the scales fell from my eyes and I was clearly able to see that abortion was sin...murder to be exact. I read the Bible and went to church so I fully understood that I was forgiven yet it didn't set me free. I was constantly reminded of how much worse I was than all the ladies around me at Sunday school, Bible study, church, or even just hanging out.

Sometimes I would get mad (silently). Most of the time I just felt dumb. The best way form to explain it would be for you to imagine yourself sitting in a bible study (or at any event really) and you have chocolate pudding literally all over your face. You're trying to hang with the gals and be as normal as possible. Smiling, talking...yet you know you have pudding all over your face and that's all anyone can think about as we just muscle through our time together. 

That picture I just drew for you is just one ugly side effect sin can have on our lives. Me feeling that way has absolutely nothing to do with the ladies I'm hanging out with and has everything to do with me and my sin. Abortion goes deep. It has lasting and deep consequences. How could I ever be that close to anyone with chocolate pudding all over my face? right?!

My 17 year old daughter and I were on a walk one afternoon something struck me HARD that she said to me. It prompted this conversation. She was talking about her struggles and pains that she's endured and mentioned how much she always wished for an older brother that could have watched out for her or had an older sisters shoulder to cry on. She even went on to say that she didn't feel like she should have been the oldest but has embraced it and tried her hardest to be the older sibling she never had. 

My heart caved into my chest at that moment. I fought back tears and told her she wasn't the oldest. She did have an older brother and older sister. She looked at me with absolute shock. I had to confess that in my selfishness I took that away from her. I not only robbed her of the role God created for her as a little sister, I robbed her siblings of life. I went into great detail about how much abortion changes God's intended plans for generations. I explained that regardless of the circumstances, abortion is always a product of pure selfishness. Little did I know, that conversation would save my grandsons life 4 months later. All the glory to God!! 

All sins are not the same according to God's written word. The impact of them, the influence of them and the consequences are not the same. I'm not going to spend too much time on this because pastor Scott has broken this down really well in his sermon on abortion. You can listen to it on the woodland Christian church website. I really encourage all you ladies take a listen! 

Some of the highlighted scriptures are:

1st Corinthians 6:18

Hebrews 12:15

Proverbs 6:17

Genesis 4:10 

Numbers 35:33 

Psalm 106:38

Those scriptures were key in my healing process. No one wants to tell a hurting woman searching for relief from her own sin that her sin is worse than others, but the reality is my sin is much worse than others. I needed to acknowledge that so that I could fully embrace God's grace when He told me yes, your sin is worse but you are EQUALLY FORGIVEN!

That's when It broke. 

The crippling grip keeping me distant from God. I am equally forgiven. I am equally clean. I am equally precious. I wouldn't know this kind of grace and forgiveness if I wasn't going to church, willing to listen to God's word and accept the hard truth about myself and my sin.

His word has brought me true healing. True hope and real peace even though I don't deserve it.

1 John 2:2 says "He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins."

Atoning means to make up, as for errors or deficiencies. Obsolete. To become reconciled.

Romans 8:6 says "the mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the spirit is LIFE and PEACE."

I'm finally experiencing life, peace and healing that other women are searching for but keep missing because they believe the ear tickling lies of the world. These lies come wrapped in all shapes and sizes. Do not be fooled. Sadly some women are actually "shouting their abortions". It's a sight where you publicly and proudly shout out your abortion. This is a desperate attempt to feel justified in their sin. You get one or the other, self-righteous justification or humbly accepting a beautiful gift of gracious forgiveness that sets you free. I've been given such hope not just through my repentance but accepting His forgiveness.

If I could give a struggling woman one piece of advice it would be to make Christian friends. The advice and prayer a Christian friend gives is priceless.  Even though our past and our sins may be very different, we have something wonderful in common, we are equally forgiven sinners! We are equally loved by our creator.

I'll end with some unsolicited advice to Christian women who may not know they are speaking to a woman that has had an abortion.

DO:

Continue to speak out against abortion. Don't be shy about it. Its very important to stand firm in voicing what an atrocious and heinous crime abortion is. Talk about the biblical view of children. Talk about what a gift and blessing they are. Realize that abortion is a very spiritually evil act and please understand that an argument with a pro choice woman is one of spiritual nature not common sense that can't be hashed out with lots of words but rather prayer.

DON'T:

When you are talking about sin or making a point or comparison don't ever compare what they've done to murder. You don't know how many times I've heard the comment "Well it's not like you've committed murder" in a discussion about sin. And sadly yes I have and many others have as well. All that does is make us feel that much more unforgivable. That much farther away from God than others. So undeserving of His grace. And believe me, even as of right now I feel very unworthy of sharing any of this. Its such a battle to even speak about this. I'm only sharing this out of obedience to Christ and to bring hope and peace to others."

Top Five Areas I Am Simplifying In My Life

I am craving simplicity in my life right now. Having five children eight and under will do that. It seems life is all about moving from one season to the next and finding a "new normal" and finding a new normal is always easier if your life is simpler. Here are the top five areas I am seeking to simplify.

#1 Wardrobe: Have you heard of the "10 rule"? It's where you have only 10 shirts/blouses, 10 bottoms (skirts and/or jeans) and 10 winter tops. May still seem like a lot to some of you... but not to this "clothes hoarder"! :) The other issue with clothes for me is the season of childbearing years. My weight fluctuates within a 50 lb range so it's hard for me to get rid of clothes knowing that I might need them some day. Either way, I am seeking to implement the "10 rule". 

#2 Schedule/Commitments: When Scott and I first moved to WA I wanted to be involved in and head up everything! Now I am barely involved in anything. My only consistent commitment, outside the home, is to be the nursery coordinator for church. I also plan a ladies' conference once a year and that's pretty much it. I am not in a season right now that enables me to be involved in many things and that's okay. My main objective in life is to serve Christ and I serve Him best right now by serving my husband and children. Here is a simple sample of our average daily schedule.  Another way to simplify my life/schedule is to make as few trips "into town" as possible. I do much of my shopping online through amazon.com and safeway.com (you can get free delivery and better prices by shopping online!... I am thinking of doing a separate post just on how to safe the most possible on safeway.com and get your groceries delivered to your door AND get a big gas discount!)

#3 Meal Planning: One friend of mine recommended that I ask my husband which two areas in my stay at home endeavors were most important to him. He said: house cleaning and homeschooling. Meal planning came in last. So our meals are very simple. Cereal, toast or oatmeal for breakfast. Lunch is almost always "homemade lunchables" (just grab a variety of crackers, lunch meats and cheese and put on fun tray) or sandwiches with a choice of fruit. And dinner is either: tacos, homemade pizza, homemade almond flour pancakes, pasta with veggies, quesadillas, or soup/chili with homemade bread. (I also throw in a "ninja smoothie" with at least one meal a day which consists of frozen fruit, mixed greens and water). Simple but yummy and pretty healthy. If your husband just wants his favorites made consistently and on time consider writing down his favorites and then picking a day of the week that corresponds with each meal: "Taco Tuesday", "Lasagna Wednesday", "Chili Thursday" etc. 

#4 Homeschooling: I have chosen ACE. It was tempting to keep looking and looking at all of the bajillion choices out there but we are happy with ACE and I love that we just set the workbooks out for each child in the morning and they get to work. So much easier than making all those lesson plans for all sorts of curriculum! The kids do about four pages a day and I supplement with extra reading and geography workbooks. They are each on time or ahead of their grade level. We usually do our homeschooling in the morning right after breakfast and finish by noon. 

#5 Stuff: De-cluttering your life is the quickest and most efficient way to simplify your life! Click here to read a post I did a while back on decluttering our toys (often one of the main culprits in messiness in homes with lots of littles). I think that I throw away between 5-10 things DAILY. Clutter makes messes and complicates our lives and if you're anything like me, stress us out! So grab a few garbage bags and run around your home right now and grab whatever is not useful or beautiful and toss it or bring it to salvation army and let it clutter someone else's home :)

How about you? What are some ways you are seeking to simplify your life? Share in the comments below. 

Organizing and Homemaking Links and Advice!

In June I told you I was "going back to school"  and I have! I promised I would be sharing with you some things I have been learning and so here you go! 

Places online and products that have blessed me!:

http://www.deeprootsathome.com/

http://strangersandpilgrimsonearth.blogspot.com/

http://www.raisingarrows.net/

I bought these wonderful videos on homemaking and highly recommend them! So blessed by the simple example of this keeper of the home!


5 simple pieces of advice that have helped me tremendously!:

#1. Don't put it down, put it away. I have to repeat this to myself through out the day! so hard to do when you have lived a life of putting things down rather than putting them away. Which brings me to number 2.

#2. Everything has a place and there is a place for everything. Now putting things away rather than putting them down only works if those things have a place to go. I can't believe how much cleaner my home looks when I have a place for everything! If there is no place and I don't have room then I give it away. Which brings me to number 3.

#3. Get rid of what you don't use. Sounds so simple doesn't it?! But it's not! Here are four reasons it's hard to get rid of stuff and four reasons you still should.
1) "I might use it someday." Go on a major purging expedition in your home. Go through each room (with your kids if you want) with giant black garbage bags and have one bag that represents things you definitely want to give away and then another "I might use it someday bag". Then, take the ones you are giving away and load them up in your car and drive them to the thrift store THAT DAY, don't delay or the bags will probably just lay around. Next, take your "I might use it someday bags" and put them in some closet. Go to your calendar and skip three months ahead exactly and write: "Get rid of those bags". Whatever is left in those bags (that you didn't have to take out because you didn't have to use it) is what you take to the thrift store THAT DAY that you wrote on the calendar three months in advance. If you didn't use it in the last three months you probably won't use it. Worse case scenario you have to go to a thrift store and buy one. Just as a note, I have only regretted one thing I have gotten rid of: my massage table I paid like 500 bucks for that thing and sold it for 75 and now I wish I could give my husband and kid's massages on it. But considering the hundreds (yes hundreds) of things I have gotten rid of, having only one regret isn't bad :) 
2) "Someone gave it to me." Yes, and someoneS are going to continue to give you lots of things. You shouldn't be bound to keep things just because someone gave you something. People who know me well know I don't keep things and so they give to me sparingly and that is okay because I am upfront with people that material gifts are definitely not my love language. More stuff means more things to find places for (see #1 and #2) which means more of my time which means less time doing the things I love which means more stress. I have gotten rid of quilts, pictures, drawings, glass thingeys and souvenir  stuff that people have given me. So just a heads up, don't buy me anything. Hang out with me instead. Pray for me. Bless my children with a trip to the library or park. Try to do the same in communicating this to your loved ones. Let them know what would really bless you: a cup of coffee, free babysitting, email encouragement... things that don't clutter your home and make you feel guilty for throwing away! I have had to tell my parents and my husband's parents to give each child one present for Christmas and their birthdays. No more than that. One special gift is plenty and less likely to be thrown in the trash :)
3) "It's pretty." There are lots of pretty things out there. Now, I don't have a problem with having a few pretty things I really love. Like this one chalk board I made out of an old painting my daughter had. But the key is to have just a few pretty things. Some people think way too many things are pretty when really they are just adding to the messiness of their homes and making their overall homes less pretty. 
4) "It's a sentimental object." Oh yes. This is probably the toughest for people. At times, even hard for me. I still have my mom's mother of the bride dresses from my sister and my wedding. Not sure why. I think I'll get rid of those asap. I just took my wedding dress to a wedding dress consignment store and that was a great call. I do have a few pieces of my mom's jewelry as well... but that's about it. I don't think I struggle with this one as much as most but it saddens me when I see people unable to let go of sentimental things. Not just one or two things but people who have closets just of things they don't want to get rid of. Things that serve their current living situation or family in no way. Things that add to the clutter and messiness of their homes all in the name of sentimentality. Pray and ask the Lord to help you sort through why you are attached to something and see if it would be best overall to part with these things. They are just things. "Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. "Col. 3:1-2  “Don't lay up treasures for yourselves on the earth, where moth. and rust consume, and where thieves break through and steal; 20: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor. rust consume, and where thieves don't break through and steal." Matthew 6:19-20 Which brings me to #4. 

#4. Keep an eternal perspective. When it comes to clutter ask the Lord to give you an eternal perspective. Everything, I mean EVERYTHING that you can set your eyes on will not come with you. It is all temporary. But the ministry you provide out of your home serves an eternal purpose. The way you keep your home will effect your ministry in the home in positive or negative ways. You do view homemaking as a ministry right? It's a ministry to your children, your husband and all your guests. Remember, people before things, always! Practicing hospitality is a command not a gift some people have and it is a command much easier to live out if you have a orderly, non-cluttered home. Pray the Lord helps you to view your home from the perspective of eternity. 

#5. Your morning begins the night before. This little saying has helped me to enjoy my days much more. When I spend too much valuable evening time on the computer and not enough time sweeping, doing dishes, setting out clothes, finishing up laundry, writing my to-do-list/schedule for the next day, I always pay for it in the morning. How our mornings go often determine how our entire day will go. So don't waste your evenings! Use them for your mornings!

source: thewordshared.net

How about you? What is one practical piece of homemaking advice that you use daily? Which one of my pieces of advice spoke to the most? Share in the comments below!

Why More Kids?!

"I couldn't handle 5 kids!"

"I was done at 2."

"I just don't have the patience for that many kids."

"Why have more kids? How are you going to have a relationship with each of them?!"

I have heard these statements and questions many times. "Why have more kids?" I like to reply with: "Why not?" I don't know about you, but many of my own answers to the "why not?" are selfish. 

We are allowing God to plan our family size because:

*I want everyone that God wants here, here.

*I don't want one little person to be missing from our family.

*I know that God uses children to refine us in major ways to make us more like His Son.

*I believe He designed us to have children. He designed us with a desire to be intimate and out of that intimacy He designed conception. (p.s. I know intimacy has more purposes than just making babies) Preventing pregnancy goes against His design and His desire to bless us with the wonderful gift of a child! 

*Children are forever. I don't like messing with deciding if a little one that lasts forever exists in the first place. That's too big of a decision for me.

*My husband has the conviction to let God lead in all areas of life including family planning. 

*Children are presented as a blessing, gift and reward and why turn that down from our Creator? He presents debt as a curse and children as a blessing... it seems our culture is embracing the wrong one.

I am not doing this:

*Because I want a whole bunch of kids.

*Because I am so good at being a mom (I am not a very good one. Especially with babies.)

*Because I want to earn extra points in heaven.

*Because I love being pregnant (I hate it actually because I have 9 month all day "morning" sickness). 

Here I am with our second "reversal baby". Chloe Marie.

So.... What are your reasons for the way you "family plan"?

Further Reading: 
My first blog post about our vasectomy reversal

Love these thoughts from Barbie at "In the Nursery of the Nation" 

Kelly Crawford with Generation Cedar

A neat interview by Holly Elliff on Revive Our Hearts