Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Your Children Will Be Spouses

Was thinking about the saying: "Your mom doesn't live here so pick up after yourself." Got me to thinking about how important it is for us moms to be training our children to pick up after themselves and to let them know that isn't mom's job either :)

I've been thinking of this in particular with my boys... what a blessing they will be as husbands if they learn NOW to put their dishes in the sink, pick up their dirty laundry, put back their belongings after they are finished with them etc. We are to be training not only our daughters to be servants toward their future spouses and children but we should also be training our boys to be servants to their future families.

Men are not called to be keepers of the home but all Christians are called to a life of service and thinking of others before themselves. We as mothers must remind our boys of this, so that when they grow up to be men, serving will come naturally to them because they have been practicing it in the home for years.

With that in mind however, we should be reminding our daughters that they are the ones called to be the keeper of the home and therefore they will naturally need more training and experience than their brothers. I am working on instructing Rhea in the importance of having a joyful attitude in her chores because her duties as a housewife will be much more enjoyable if she chooses to practice joy now. 

As mothers it is most likely that we are raising future fathers, mothers, husbands and wives. Keep this in mind through out your days, through out your training and through out your discipline. Are you teaching your boys how to serve, love and lead? Are you teaching your girls what it means to have a gentle and quiet spirit and to keep the home? 

A simple example of this type of training: The other night my oldest daughter was going to bed. As I was tucking her in I started reflecting on the day and I thought about how many times she was being.... persistent.

I told her: "Honey, there is this side of your personality that could cause you lots of problems as a future wife. You are very persistent and don't give up on getting what you want. This can be used for God's glory when you seek to accomplish things for Him but it can also be a huge burden for your future husband. You know how mama is supposed to let daddy lead and to not nag him?"

Her response: "Yeah."

Me: "Well, your persistence can turn into nagging your future husband and you know what the bible says about a nagging wife?"

My oldest daughter: "No."

Me: "It says that he would rather live on the corner of a roof with all sorts of bad weather than live with a nagging wife. Mama wants to be a blessing to daddy and not a burden and I want to train you to be the same way. Make sense?"

Her: "Makes sense Mama." She had a big smile on her face picturing a husband sitting on the corner of the roof.

One of the biggest blessings for me in keeping this mindset is the benefit it is for my own marriage and parenting. By training them I am also training myself. It's hard to preach this stuff if you aren't seeking to live it out yourself. Fewer things embitter children toward their parents more than watching them teach what they aren't living out.

The number one way we train our children is in the way we live. How am I training Rhea and Charis to respect their future husbands and to love their children in my day to day life and in the way I treat them and their daddy? What kind of godly wife am I portraying for Ricky and Johnny? Am I training them in the fruits of the Spirit or the flesh? How is my life training them for their future and how will my training affect their future families?

"Now this is what the LORD Almighty says: 'Give careful thought to your ways.'" (Haggai 1:5)