Monday, August 19, 2013
10 Ways To Be Gracious Toward Your Husband
1. Bite your tongue. Want to get in the last word? Want to say something straight up mean to "really get back at him"? Don't. Just bite your tongue. Literally bite it if you have to. Pray this instead: "Set a guard over my mouth, LORD..." Psalm 141:3
2. Get over it. Stop thinking about it. Move on. Is it really worth ruining your marriage? Your family? Your kid's upbringing? Get over it. Tell your husband how you feel (once... maybe twice) and move on. Bring your issue to the Lord and leave it there. You are what you practice. If you keep meditating on the wrong done to you then you will have a harder time moving on. "drop the matter before a dispute breaks out." Prov. 17:14
3. Don't ever, ever say: "I told you so." Really? How much do you like to hear that? I hate to hear that. No one likes to hear "I told you so." He knows you were right. "I told you so" screams: "I'm prideful!" "Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider, and not your own lips." Prov. 27:2.
4. Forget about it. Don't keep a record of wrongs. This kind of goes with number 2. In order to not keep a record of wrongs you have to get over it :) Don't keep track of anything bad. Keep a record of rights instead. A record of how he has blessed you. "love does not keep a record of wrongs." 1 Cor. 13:5 Remember being bitter is like swallowing poison hoping the other person will die.
5. Just DON'T say no. I'll keep this one short. Don't deny your husband. "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband." 1 Cor. 7:4
6. Don't ever say: "Why didn't you _____?!" or "You should have _____." This is similar to number 3. It is just as annoying and prideful. (see verse above :)
7. Ignore his weaknesses and praise his strengths. Enter marriage with eyes wide open, stay married with eyes half way open :) You are not the Holy Spirit in your husband's life. "When he [the Holy Spirit] comes, he will convict..." John 16:8
8. To be gracious means to be "pleasantly kind", according to dictionary.com. Be pleasantly kind toward your husband. Did he do something to tick you off today? Why don't you be pleasantly kind and make him his favorite thing for dinner? "with humility think of others as better than yourselves." Phil. 2:3 and "they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives." 1 Peter 3:1-2
9. Praise him in front of the kids. Let them know how proud you are of their daddy. "Isn't daddy the best?!" "Man your daddy sure loves you guys!" "Doesn't daddy take good care of us?" Think of something. Anything positive. And then say it in front of your kids.
10. Saving the best for last! Forgive your husband as Christ forgave and forgives you! One night after Scott and I had a fight and I was laying there in bed seething and wanting to hold onto my bitterness when this verse came to mind: "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Co. 3:13 Ouch. I immediately felt the bitterness leave me. Forgive as You forgave me Lord?! Really? Wow Lord.... Well, you forgave me while I was yet a sinner. You have forgiven me of SOOOOO much...You continue to forgive me for things I don't apologize for. You forgive me completely! You want me to forgive my husband like that? You want me to be gracious toward him like you are toward me? Okay Lord. Help me.
p.s. I stink at numbers 1-10... which is why I could write this so quickly. I know I need to work on these daily!