My Christian Friend Had Abortions...

We had our fifth ladies conference here at Woodland Christian Church last week. It was wonderful. The theme was "Finding Hope". I loved every minute of it. But there was one part in particular that was so very special to me. My friend shared "a testimony of hope". She shared how she had abortions and how God has brought hope into her life since then. I asked her permission to share parts of it! I pray it blesses, educates you and humbles you as it did me!

"Abortion has affected me in many ways. I'll start with how it has affected my relationship with God since that relationship has a ripple effect into every aspect of my life.

I have never felt fully forgiven by God, which ultimately has kept me a good arms length away from Him. I constantly asked for forgiveness and was continually repenting. I would talk about being forgiven because I believed what the bible has to say about His forgiveness grace and mercy. Yet I continued to feel like I was not fully embraced. Not intimately nestled under His wing as I know other Christians are.

If that's how I felt with my Lord and Savior, the most loving and gracious Being, you can see how that would pour over into every single relationship I have. Some of you may relate, some of you don't and some of you seasoned Christians know that the the problem lies with me and not Christ.

What changed? How was I able to allow God to fully embrace me as His forgiven, clean precious daughter? Well it's been a process and some of it is very fresh.

I remember the moment the scales fell from my eyes and I was clearly able to see that abortion was sin...murder to be exact. I read the Bible and went to church so I fully understood that I was forgiven yet it didn't set me free. I was constantly reminded of how much worse I was than all the ladies around me at Sunday school, Bible study, church, or even just hanging out.

Sometimes I would get mad (silently). Most of the time I just felt dumb. The best way form to explain it would be for you to imagine yourself sitting in a bible study (or at any event really) and you have chocolate pudding literally all over your face. You're trying to hang with the gals and be as normal as possible. Smiling, talking...yet you know you have pudding all over your face and that's all anyone can think about as we just muscle through our time together. 

That picture I just drew for you is just one ugly side effect sin can have on our lives. Me feeling that way has absolutely nothing to do with the ladies I'm hanging out with and has everything to do with me and my sin. Abortion goes deep. It has lasting and deep consequences. How could I ever be that close to anyone with chocolate pudding all over my face? right?!

My 17 year old daughter and I were on a walk one afternoon something struck me HARD that she said to me. It prompted this conversation. She was talking about her struggles and pains that she's endured and mentioned how much she always wished for an older brother that could have watched out for her or had an older sisters shoulder to cry on. She even went on to say that she didn't feel like she should have been the oldest but has embraced it and tried her hardest to be the older sibling she never had. 

My heart caved into my chest at that moment. I fought back tears and told her she wasn't the oldest. She did have an older brother and older sister. She looked at me with absolute shock. I had to confess that in my selfishness I took that away from her. I not only robbed her of the role God created for her as a little sister, I robbed her siblings of life. I went into great detail about how much abortion changes God's intended plans for generations. I explained that regardless of the circumstances, abortion is always a product of pure selfishness. Little did I know, that conversation would save my grandsons life 4 months later. All the glory to God!! 

All sins are not the same according to God's written word. The impact of them, the influence of them and the consequences are not the same. I'm not going to spend too much time on this because pastor Scott has broken this down really well in his sermon on abortion. You can listen to it on the woodland Christian church website. I really encourage all you ladies take a listen! 

Some of the highlighted scriptures are:

1st Corinthians 6:18

Hebrews 12:15

Proverbs 6:17

Genesis 4:10 

Numbers 35:33 

Psalm 106:38

Those scriptures were key in my healing process. No one wants to tell a hurting woman searching for relief from her own sin that her sin is worse than others, but the reality is my sin is much worse than others. I needed to acknowledge that so that I could fully embrace God's grace when He told me yes, your sin is worse but you are EQUALLY FORGIVEN!

That's when It broke. 

The crippling grip keeping me distant from God. I am equally forgiven. I am equally clean. I am equally precious. I wouldn't know this kind of grace and forgiveness if I wasn't going to church, willing to listen to God's word and accept the hard truth about myself and my sin.

His word has brought me true healing. True hope and real peace even though I don't deserve it.

1 John 2:2 says "He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins."

Atoning means to make up, as for errors or deficiencies. Obsolete. To become reconciled.

Romans 8:6 says "the mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the spirit is LIFE and PEACE."

I'm finally experiencing life, peace and healing that other women are searching for but keep missing because they believe the ear tickling lies of the world. These lies come wrapped in all shapes and sizes. Do not be fooled. Sadly some women are actually "shouting their abortions". It's a sight where you publicly and proudly shout out your abortion. This is a desperate attempt to feel justified in their sin. You get one or the other, self-righteous justification or humbly accepting a beautiful gift of gracious forgiveness that sets you free. I've been given such hope not just through my repentance but accepting His forgiveness.

If I could give a struggling woman one piece of advice it would be to make Christian friends. The advice and prayer a Christian friend gives is priceless.  Even though our past and our sins may be very different, we have something wonderful in common, we are equally forgiven sinners! We are equally loved by our creator.

I'll end with some unsolicited advice to Christian women who may not know they are speaking to a woman that has had an abortion.

DO:

Continue to speak out against abortion. Don't be shy about it. Its very important to stand firm in voicing what an atrocious and heinous crime abortion is. Talk about the biblical view of children. Talk about what a gift and blessing they are. Realize that abortion is a very spiritually evil act and please understand that an argument with a pro choice woman is one of spiritual nature not common sense that can't be hashed out with lots of words but rather prayer.

DON'T:

When you are talking about sin or making a point or comparison don't ever compare what they've done to murder. You don't know how many times I've heard the comment "Well it's not like you've committed murder" in a discussion about sin. And sadly yes I have and many others have as well. All that does is make us feel that much more unforgivable. That much farther away from God than others. So undeserving of His grace. And believe me, even as of right now I feel very unworthy of sharing any of this. Its such a battle to even speak about this. I'm only sharing this out of obedience to Christ and to bring hope and peace to others."

Top Five Areas I Am Simplifying In My Life

I am craving simplicity in my life right now. Having five children eight and under will do that. It seems life is all about moving from one season to the next and finding a "new normal" and finding a new normal is always easier if your life is simpler. Here are the top five areas I am seeking to simplify.

#1 Wardrobe: Have you heard of the "10 rule"? It's where you have only 10 shirts/blouses, 10 bottoms (skirts and/or jeans) and 10 winter tops. May still seem like a lot to some of you... but not to this "clothes hoarder"! :) The other issue with clothes for me is the season of childbearing years. My weight fluctuates within a 50 lb range so it's hard for me to get rid of clothes knowing that I might need them some day. Either way, I am seeking to implement the "10 rule". 

#2 Schedule/Commitments: When Scott and I first moved to WA I wanted to be involved in and head up everything! Now I am barely involved in anything. My only consistent commitment, outside the home, is to be the nursery coordinator for church. I also plan a ladies' conference once a year and that's pretty much it. I am not in a season right now that enables me to be involved in many things and that's okay. My main objective in life is to serve Christ and I serve Him best right now by serving my husband and children. Here is a simple sample of our average daily schedule.  Another way to simplify my life/schedule is to make as few trips "into town" as possible. I do much of my shopping online through amazon.com and safeway.com (you can get free delivery and better prices by shopping online!... I am thinking of doing a separate post just on how to safe the most possible on safeway.com and get your groceries delivered to your door AND get a big gas discount!)

#3 Meal Planning: One friend of mine recommended that I ask my husband which two areas in my stay at home endeavors were most important to him. He said: house cleaning and homeschooling. Meal planning came in last. So our meals are very simple. Cereal, toast or oatmeal for breakfast. Lunch is almost always "homemade lunchables" (just grab a variety of crackers, lunch meats and cheese and put on fun tray) or sandwiches with a choice of fruit. And dinner is either: tacos, homemade pizza, homemade almond flour pancakes, pasta with veggies, quesadillas, or soup/chili with homemade bread. (I also throw in a "ninja smoothie" with at least one meal a day which consists of frozen fruit, mixed greens and water). Simple but yummy and pretty healthy. If your husband just wants his favorites made consistently and on time consider writing down his favorites and then picking a day of the week that corresponds with each meal: "Taco Tuesday", "Lasagna Wednesday", "Chili Thursday" etc. 

#4 Homeschooling: I have chosen ACE. It was tempting to keep looking and looking at all of the bajillion choices out there but we are happy with ACE and I love that we just set the workbooks out for each child in the morning and they get to work. So much easier than making all those lesson plans for all sorts of curriculum! The kids do about four pages a day and I supplement with extra reading and geography workbooks. They are each on time or ahead of their grade level. We usually do our homeschooling in the morning right after breakfast and finish by noon. 

#5 Stuff: De-cluttering your life is the quickest and most efficient way to simplify your life! Click here to read a post I did a while back on decluttering our toys (often one of the main culprits in messiness in homes with lots of littles). I think that I throw away between 5-10 things DAILY. Clutter makes messes and complicates our lives and if you're anything like me, stress us out! So grab a few garbage bags and run around your home right now and grab whatever is not useful or beautiful and toss it or bring it to salvation army and let it clutter someone else's home :)

How about you? What are some ways you are seeking to simplify your life? Share in the comments below. 

Organizing and Homemaking Links and Advice!

In June I told you I was "going back to school"  and I have! I promised I would be sharing with you some things I have been learning and so here you go! 

Places online and products that have blessed me!:

http://www.deeprootsathome.com/

http://strangersandpilgrimsonearth.blogspot.com/

http://www.raisingarrows.net/

I bought these wonderful videos on homemaking and highly recommend them! So blessed by the simple example of this keeper of the home!


5 simple pieces of advice that have helped me tremendously!:

#1. Don't put it down, put it away. I have to repeat this to myself through out the day! so hard to do when you have lived a life of putting things down rather than putting them away. Which brings me to number 2.

#2. Everything has a place and there is a place for everything. Now putting things away rather than putting them down only works if those things have a place to go. I can't believe how much cleaner my home looks when I have a place for everything! If there is no place and I don't have room then I give it away. Which brings me to number 3.

#3. Get rid of what you don't use. Sounds so simple doesn't it?! But it's not! Here are four reasons it's hard to get rid of stuff and four reasons you still should.
1) "I might use it someday." Go on a major purging expedition in your home. Go through each room (with your kids if you want) with giant black garbage bags and have one bag that represents things you definitely want to give away and then another "I might use it someday bag". Then, take the ones you are giving away and load them up in your car and drive them to the thrift store THAT DAY, don't delay or the bags will probably just lay around. Next, take your "I might use it someday bags" and put them in some closet. Go to your calendar and skip three months ahead exactly and write: "Get rid of those bags". Whatever is left in those bags (that you didn't have to take out because you didn't have to use it) is what you take to the thrift store THAT DAY that you wrote on the calendar three months in advance. If you didn't use it in the last three months you probably won't use it. Worse case scenario you have to go to a thrift store and buy one. Just as a note, I have only regretted one thing I have gotten rid of: my massage table I paid like 500 bucks for that thing and sold it for 75 and now I wish I could give my husband and kid's massages on it. But considering the hundreds (yes hundreds) of things I have gotten rid of, having only one regret isn't bad :) 
2) "Someone gave it to me." Yes, and someoneS are going to continue to give you lots of things. You shouldn't be bound to keep things just because someone gave you something. People who know me well know I don't keep things and so they give to me sparingly and that is okay because I am upfront with people that material gifts are definitely not my love language. More stuff means more things to find places for (see #1 and #2) which means more of my time which means less time doing the things I love which means more stress. I have gotten rid of quilts, pictures, drawings, glass thingeys and souvenir  stuff that people have given me. So just a heads up, don't buy me anything. Hang out with me instead. Pray for me. Bless my children with a trip to the library or park. Try to do the same in communicating this to your loved ones. Let them know what would really bless you: a cup of coffee, free babysitting, email encouragement... things that don't clutter your home and make you feel guilty for throwing away! I have had to tell my parents and my husband's parents to give each child one present for Christmas and their birthdays. No more than that. One special gift is plenty and less likely to be thrown in the trash :)
3) "It's pretty." There are lots of pretty things out there. Now, I don't have a problem with having a few pretty things I really love. Like this one chalk board I made out of an old painting my daughter had. But the key is to have just a few pretty things. Some people think way too many things are pretty when really they are just adding to the messiness of their homes and making their overall homes less pretty. 
4) "It's a sentimental object." Oh yes. This is probably the toughest for people. At times, even hard for me. I still have my mom's mother of the bride dresses from my sister and my wedding. Not sure why. I think I'll get rid of those asap. I just took my wedding dress to a wedding dress consignment store and that was a great call. I do have a few pieces of my mom's jewelry as well... but that's about it. I don't think I struggle with this one as much as most but it saddens me when I see people unable to let go of sentimental things. Not just one or two things but people who have closets just of things they don't want to get rid of. Things that serve their current living situation or family in no way. Things that add to the clutter and messiness of their homes all in the name of sentimentality. Pray and ask the Lord to help you sort through why you are attached to something and see if it would be best overall to part with these things. They are just things. "Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. "Col. 3:1-2  “Don't lay up treasures for yourselves on the earth, where moth. and rust consume, and where thieves break through and steal; 20: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor. rust consume, and where thieves don't break through and steal." Matthew 6:19-20 Which brings me to #4. 

#4. Keep an eternal perspective. When it comes to clutter ask the Lord to give you an eternal perspective. Everything, I mean EVERYTHING that you can set your eyes on will not come with you. It is all temporary. But the ministry you provide out of your home serves an eternal purpose. The way you keep your home will effect your ministry in the home in positive or negative ways. You do view homemaking as a ministry right? It's a ministry to your children, your husband and all your guests. Remember, people before things, always! Practicing hospitality is a command not a gift some people have and it is a command much easier to live out if you have a orderly, non-cluttered home. Pray the Lord helps you to view your home from the perspective of eternity. 

#5. Your morning begins the night before. This little saying has helped me to enjoy my days much more. When I spend too much valuable evening time on the computer and not enough time sweeping, doing dishes, setting out clothes, finishing up laundry, writing my to-do-list/schedule for the next day, I always pay for it in the morning. How our mornings go often determine how our entire day will go. So don't waste your evenings! Use them for your mornings!

source: thewordshared.net

How about you? What is one practical piece of homemaking advice that you use daily? Which one of my pieces of advice spoke to the most? Share in the comments below!

Why More Kids?!

"I couldn't handle 5 kids!"

"I was done at 2."

"I just don't have the patience for that many kids."

"Why have more kids? How are you going to have a relationship with each of them?!"

I have heard these statements and questions many times. "Why have more kids?" I like to reply with: "Why not?" I don't know about you, but many of my own answers to the "why not?" are selfish. 

We are allowing God to plan our family size because:

*I want everyone that God wants here, here.

*I don't want one little person to be missing from our family.

*I know that God uses children to refine us in major ways to make us more like His Son.

*I believe He designed us to have children. He designed us with a desire to be intimate and out of that intimacy He designed conception. (p.s. I know intimacy has more purposes than just making babies) Preventing pregnancy goes against His design and His desire to bless us with the wonderful gift of a child! 

*Children are forever. I don't like messing with deciding if a little one that lasts forever exists in the first place. That's too big of a decision for me.

*My husband has the conviction to let God lead in all areas of life including family planning. 

*Children are presented as a blessing, gift and reward and why turn that down from our Creator? He presents debt as a curse and children as a blessing... it seems our culture is embracing the wrong one.

I am not doing this:

*Because I want a whole bunch of kids.

*Because I am so good at being a mom (I am not a very good one. Especially with babies.)

*Because I want to earn extra points in heaven.

*Because I love being pregnant (I hate it actually because I have 9 month all day "morning" sickness). 

Here I am with our second "reversal baby". Chloe Marie.

So.... What are your reasons for the way you "family plan"?

Further Reading: 
My first blog post about our vasectomy reversal

Love these thoughts from Barbie at "In the Nursery of the Nation" 

Kelly Crawford with Generation Cedar

A neat interview by Holly Elliff on Revive Our Hearts

My Favorite Places Online!

The internet can be such a blessing... and a distraction. Let's use it more for the blessing part and look for ways to build ourselves and our homes up spiritually! 

Here are some of my favorite places to do that:

Looking for some awesome audio messages on godly womanhood?! 
https://www.reviveourhearts.com/resource-library/programs/p/Revive%20Our%20Hearts/topic/Womanhood/ 

A great resource for bible study! 
https://www.biblegateway.com/

Our associate pastor's wife's blog! I met her through her wonderful blog! 
http://jessconnell.com/

I have been following Kelly's blog for years and have been so encouraged! 
http://www.generationcedar.com/main/

Another great resourse for bible study! 
http://www.blueletterbible.org/

Got questions about the bible or Christianity in general? This place has solid answers! 
http://www.gotquestions.org/

Our church website and audio sermon page! 
http://woodlandchristian.net/messages.php?show=messages

Endless sermon options here!
 http://www.sermonaudio.com/main.asp

Looking for solid homeschooling info?
 https://www.christianheritageonline.org/

Looking for godly tv? Hard to find I know. Look no further! Joni did an awesome job creating a tv series that will build your family up! 
http://www.joniandfriends.org/television/

Facebook Reflections

I have been off facebook for four months now. My original intention was to just take a month off but after my first month off I realized I didn't want to get back on.

When you are not on the biggest social network in the world you may feel a little left out but you will probably get a lot more done in the real world. There are those rare people that some how "don't check their facebook much" but I don't know many... most seem to check it constantly and then recheck it.... like I did. 

About 6 months ago I was asking the Lord what His will was for my life and it is answered quite simply in Titus 2: to keep my home, to love my husband and to love my children. Unfortunately, facebook wasn't part of the list. So I thought I would take a month off and that month turned into four months.

This post by Kelly Crawford also convicted the socks off of me! 

I have been reflecting lately: "what is it about facebook that makes it so appealing and for some, addictive?"

Here are three possible answers to that question:

1. Everyone wants to be affirmed. We all love to hear: "good job!" "I believe in you!" "I like you!" We all enjoy a nice compliment, but sometimes that craving can get unhealthy and before we know it we are craving the approval of man more than the approval of God. It is His opinion that matters most! It is His opinion we should crave the most! It is His "like" that we should be looking for! You have all the affirmation you will ever need in Christ. 

2. Everyone wants to be heard. One of my children in particular wants to be heard. So much so that when he is not heard his eyes often fill with tears. Some adults are like that too. They just want to be heard! They just want to vent whatever is on their mind and have others say: "I hear you." Facebook provides this for many people. 

3. Everyone wants to feel connected. We are made to be social, hence the word "social network". Facebook provides a sort of crack-cocaine form of feeling connected. God designed us to feel like part of a community and facebook provides that... in a way.  

Here is something to think about though:

Is the facebook world robbing our families of the opportunity to be the ones that primarily affirm us, hear us and make us feel connected?

Are we so tuned into our computer and phone screens that the very ones God put around us are not able to love us the way He designed because we are so distracted by our facebook family? 

Not everyone needs to get off facebook. But for now, it is best for me. My hope is not that this post makes anyone feel condemned but that it makes you think about why you are on facebook and if you are letting it rob you of the real life relationships and duties God has given you right within the four walls of your home. 

 "make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands." 1 Thess. 4:11

4 Ways to Nurture Your Marriage In Busy Times

It's easy to pay attention to your husband and put his needs first when it's just the two of you. But when you throw 2, 3, 5, 8 kids into the mix it makes things a lot more difficult. Add to that homeschooling and ministry and you are bound to be scrambling just to keep your head on straight much less figuring out how to pour into your marriage. But it's easier than you think! Here are four ways even the busiest wife can nurture her marriage:

#1 Smile. Weird huh? But when's the last time you intentionally looked at your husband across the room and smiled? A smile can change the whole mood in the home. When your kids are running around like monkeys make an effort to look at him and smile. This is a small way to warm his heart and let him know you not only love him, but you like him. 

#2 Text him. Text him things you are thankful for about him. Text him about how thankful you are that he works hard for the family. Text him some of your favorite things about his personality. Text him about how you appreciate his love for your kids. Text him anything during the day that will encourage him and put a little pep in his step!

#3 Put the kids to bed early and plan a "in home date night". Make his favorite dessert and sit together at the dining room table or out on the front porch and talk about your day. It's amazing how much this time together can nurture your marriage and save you money! :) 

#4 Touch him. Embrace him with a big hug and kiss when he gets home. Hold his hand when you sit together. Lay your head on his chest when you sit next to each other on the couch. Some men are not "touchers" and so you can ignore this one. But it is important that you find out how he does feel loved! Does he light up when you verbally affirm him? Does he seem extra thankful when you serve him his favorite meal or bring him a cup of coffee? Does he beam with joy when you surprise him with a special gift? Figure out what blesses him the most and look for ways to incorporate it into your life! Figuring out your husband's love language and looking for opportunities to do it will be a major way to nurture your marriage. One love language most men share is sexual intimacy. Be sure to be available sexually for your husband too! You are the one woman he gets for life to satisfy him and you don't want to disappoint. God has made it very clear in His Word that your body belongs to him too. Don't deny him. 

When we pour into our husbands and marriage this way we are nurturing ourselves too! When we feed our marriage we are feeding ourselves! After all, two become one flesh. However you nurture him you nurture you.

Please leave a comment and give your own ideas of ways that you nurture your marriage in the midst of busyness. Also let me know if you do one of these four things! Would love to hear how it goes!