1. Make sure you focus on his faults. Make sure you pay no attention to his strengths and the reasons you married him. Forget that he is a messed up sinner just like you. Meditate on his flaws and think about them often chanting to yourself all the reasons he doesn't deserve you.
2. Expect him to fulfill all your needs. Forget that God is the only One that is meant to fulfill all your needs.
3. Talk badly about him. The more you talk badly about him and his inadequacies the more you will think poorly of him and poor thinking always leads to bitterness.
4. Make sure your children know how lame daddy is. This will help them to be bitter toward him too! That way you can practice bitterness together!
5. Compare him to other men. Especially the ones that are opposite to him in lots of ways. This makes bitterness grow in exponential amounts.
6. Take mental notes all day about the ways you serve him and help him and make sure to not focus on all the ways you are messing up as a submissive, respectful wife.
7. Keep a record of wrongs. This may be the best way to be bitter toward your husband. Never forgive and forget. Always forget about all the ways God has forgiven you, is forgiving you and will forgive you.
8. See marriage as a means to make you happy, not holy. View marriage continually as a way to build you up and make you feel better. In fact, make marriage all about YOU.
9. Have a worldly perspective on marriage. Get angry like the feminists that God calls you to submit to your husband in everything. Despise God's design for marriage and conform to the world's design.
10. Repeat number 7 because nothing says bitterness like an unforgiving heart. Cling to your rights and keep track of every wrong he does every day. In fact, repeat all the points above to really experience bitterness!
hmmm, sound awful? I think so too. But how many of us practice these things? How many of us choose bitterness in our marriage? There is a better way... why don't we do the opposite of the ways listed above and practice grace and humility?
- Let's be sure to focus on our husbands strengths and ignore his faults.
- Look for ways to meet his needs regardless of how much he fails at meeting yours (YOU'RE THE HELPMEET, NOT HIM-neither was man created for woman, but woman for man-1 Cor. 11:9).
- Look to God to fulfill your longings and thank Him for the ways your husband is blessing you!
- Only speak kindly about him. Build him up in front of your children and speak highly of him. Speak in a way that your kids can see why you think daddy is a superhero!
- See your husband for who he is, your husband. You didn't marry those other guys so don't compare your man to them. Do you want him comparing you to hot, submissive, organized, emotionally stable women all the time? I didn't think so :)
- Thank the Lord for ways you can serve your man and recognize you are ultimately serving the King of kings!
- Throw your record of wrongs in the trash. It only wrecks your home and heart. Bitterness is like swallowing poison that lingers and kills slowly. Keep the Lord's great forgiveness toward you in the forefront of your mind and practice it toward your husband.
- View marriage from God's perspective. As a way to glorify Him. Honor Him. Represent His relationship with the church well. Do your part and let him worry about his. Let the Holy Spirit convict him. He is much better at that than we are! Marriage is a gift from God to further His kingdom... not our selfish kingdoms.
- And for goodness sakes, don't say: "If he.... then I would submit." Not true. Christ is the perfect Husband and we all fail in our submission toward Him daily.
- Our lack of submission is more of a reflection of us than our husbands. Our lack of honor toward our man is a glimpse into our hearts and desire to please the Lord.
"Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything." (Eph. 5:22-24)
"See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." (Hebrews 12:15)
Let's resolve to fight against bitterness ladies! BEFORE it takes root and defiles many!