Another Reason To Homeschool

Click here to watch an amazingly devastating video 20/20 did on bullying in schools.

This just makes me want to keep my children in the safe haven of our home and teach them my self even more. What a cruel world out there for poor children! The evil young people are capable of is disgusting.

life's ups and downs

My life has had some serious ups and downs lately. My mother died on Thursday, June 10th very unexpectedly. My son was born exactly a week later on June 17th. One major down and one major up. God has been so faithful and near through it all.

My husband preached a sermon on Sunday called: "Checking Your Walls". You can listen to it by clicking here. It was about making sure you have strong "walls" BEFORE the enemy attacks. Walls for cities in the Old Testament were of utmost importance. Without them you would surely perish. Without them we fall under adversity. We need to be seeking the Lord through His Word, prayer and fellowship during times of peace so that when the storms come we are able to withstand them! The Word says we are MORE than conquerors in Christ. I felt like that in the midst of grieving the loss of my mother. I don't know how people "do life" without the Lord.

John, my new wonderful son pictured above, is doing so good! He will be five weeks tomorrow! He is doing well with scheduling (please don't throw rocks at me) and gets LOTS of attention from his brother and sister. I am adjusting to life as a mom of three little ones, hence the lack of posts lately. I am so blessed. Seriously. My husband treats me like a queen. My kids are adorable and we have so much fun. And most importantly I have a Father who loves me and guides me from day to day.

Angry Mom

I never thought of myself as an angry person. Parenting has revealed that I am. I hate myself when I let anger get the best of me. I want to be that mom that carrys on with a joyful heart and is not overwhelmed by her surroundings. But lo and behold, Rhea is defiant, Ricky is crying, the house is a mess and I feel like all the sudden I am going to "lose it". The Lord is really working with me in this area.

Anger is sin and sin destroys. I know that the family unit is of utmost importance and I don't want to stand by and let my anger tear it down. James says that the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. I want God's righteousness to reign in our home and I know that that will only happen if my sinful ways dissipate.

I read an article today (link given below) and was encouraged to know that I am not alone. I also ordered the book through our library that it mentions. If you struggle with frustration toward your children know that you are not alone and know that God wants things to be different. He wants our homes to be filled with His peace and love. This is only possible as we seek Him moment to moment.

Click here for article.

Mother At Home Series

Not sure if I started this already but I wanted to do a series on a book I just finished called: The Mother at Home by John S.C. Abbott. It was so good and I wanted to share some of the treasures I found.

The first chapter was on "Responsibility". It talks fo the responsibility we have as mothers to train up our children in the way they should go.

"His/her character is now, in an important sense, in your hands, and you are to form it for good or for evil. If you are consistent in your government, and faithful in the discharge of your duties, your child will probably through life revere you, and be your solace of your declining years. If on the other hand, you cannot summon resolution to punish your child when disobedient... he will despise you for your weakness. Unaccustomed to restraints at home, he will break away from all restraints.

It is true that there are many mothers who feel their responsibilities perhaps as deeply as it is best should feel them. Bu there are many others-even of Christian mothers-who seem to forget that their children will ever be less under their control than they are while young. And they are training them up, by INDECISION AND INDULGENCE, soon to tyrannize over their parents with a rod of iron-and to pierce their hearts with many sorrows. If you are unfaithful to your child when he is young, he will be unfaithful to you when he is old. If you indulge him in all his foolish and unreasonable wishes when he is a child when he becomes a man he will indulge himself; he will gratify every desire of his heart and your sufferings will be rendered the more poignant by the reflection that it was your own unfaithfulness which has caused your ruin. If you would be the happy mother of a happy child, give your attention, and your efforts, and your prayers, to the great duty of training him up for God and heaven."

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Borrowed Post: What Does A Stay at Home Mom do All day?

Can be found at: generationcedar.com

• She studies to provide at least somewhat healthy, somewhat economical meals for her family. This can be a time-consuming job, but there are books written solely on the art of cooking and the incredible ministry found in entertaining your family and friends through the hospitality of the kitchen. Study it! (Another word about the ministry of hospitality soon!) Just in the area of health alone, America is experiencing an epidemic of illness, largely from consuming so much pre-packaged food, a choice usually necessary to maintain the over-booked lives we live.

• If the Lord has given her children, she pours herself into their training, nurturing and developing. Another full time job almost by itself. If not, there are a myriad of “mothering” and ministering opportunities sorely in need of a servant-minded woman.

• She helps her husband. This varies widely from home to home. But much like an administrative assistant, she can be a “crown to her husband” instead of forcing him to hire another woman for that role. This is where “the heart of her husband safely trusts her” as she runs a household and “he has no lack of gain”.

• She studies to keep her marriage happy. The dearth of happy marriages–of marriages at all–is staggering. Good marriages don’t just happen. If they aren’t tended, they’ll wilt.

• She studies to save money, to make her home a warm, inviting place, to treat minor illnesses, to repair things, to make things, to plant things, to be busy with her hands. Books are written–there is no end to this art.

• She engages in meaningful conversation with her children. An often underrated, but vitally important job in their education–homeschooled or not.

• She “reaches”. (“She reaches her hand to the needy”. Proverbs 31) Whether this be the meeting of a physical need for the poor, or a need of a fellow believer, needs abound. Many needs could be met in the form of an encouraging card, phone call or visit. It’s just a suggestion, but maybe Prozac has largely filled our lack of availability to hurting women.

• She earns money. Home industries are easier than ever to begin. Saving money and making money are doable activities for the SAHM.

• She mentors other moms.

• She takes care of extended family members. Nursing homes are new

Mother's priorities

Picture when you stand before the Lord. It's not completely clear what that day will look like but I do like this fictional picture of what it may look like for a woman whose priorities were not as the Lord would desire.

"Where are the boys and girls I gave thee?" says the Lord.

"Lord, I was busy keeping my house clean and in order, and my children wandered away."

"Where wert thou while thy sons and thy daughters were learning lessons of dishonesty, malice and impurity?"

"Lord, I was polishing furniture and making beautiful rugs." (or I was on facebook, watching worldly tv shows, talking on the phone.)

"What hast thou to show for thy life's work?"

"The tidiest house, Lord, and the best starching and ironing in all our neighborhood!"

Oh these children, these children! The restless eager boys and girls whom we love more than our lives! Shall we devote our time and strength to that which perishes while the rich garden of our child's soul lies neglected, with foul weeds choking out all worthy and beautiful growths? Fleeting indeed, O mother, are the days of childhood, and speck-less windows, snowy linen, the consciousness that everything about the house is faultlessly bright and clean will be poor comfort in that day wherein we shall discover that our poor boy's feet have chosen the path that shall take him out of the way to all eternity."

--Author Unknown

For Him

I am listening to a great message by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Here is something in particular that convicted and encouraged me:

"From Him are all things, through Him are all things, and to Him are all things. He is the source; He is the sustainer, and He is the supreme purpose and sense and goal of all things, for all things were created for Him and for His pleasure. That is so contrary to our natural perspective, isn’t it? Our natural way of thinking is, “It’s all about me.” We live as if all things were from us, through us, and for us.

That leaves us fearful, angry, proud, bitter, confused, and depressed. God is the source of all things. He is the sovereign Lord and director of all things. He is the sustainer of all things, and in the end, all things—even the sinful choices of fallen human beings, some of whom you may live with, and all of us fall into that category—even the sinful choices of human beings in the end will glorify God and demonstrate the greatness of His wisdom, His power, and His grace.

So what’s the response? Paul tells us, “To Him be glory forever. Amen.” Paul says, “The response is, we put God in the spotlight where He belongs.” We praise Him; we worship Him; we give Him glory, and we say, “Amen, let it be so.” We make our affirmation that we agree. We believe this. We submit our lives to God’s holy, eternal purposes."

Don't Judge Me

Okay, is it just me or is this people's favorite saying in regards to Christianity: "Don't judge me."? Or: "Jesus said 'whoever is without sin cast the first stone.'" BUT, what did Jesus say after that? He told the woman to "go and sin no more." Sin destroys. Sin also misrepresents Christ. That is who we represent as Christians. I know there are many passages about not judging others. When you search for the word judge in the new testament there are many verses that come up telling us to not judge. HOWEVER, there are so many verses about the atrocity of those calling themselves Christians who are acting like the world. Jesus said a tree can be judged by it's fruit. Those who say they are followers of Christ can be judged by their actions.

Paul said in 1 Cor.5 "I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— ¹⁰not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. ¹¹But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat. ¹²What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside?¹³God will judge those outside. "Expel the wicked man from among you."

Is it just me or does that sound judgmental? Paul instructs the church to expel such wicked people! We are not to even eat with them. I believe we are to be this severe because sin is serious and people need to take it seriously. By continuing to hang out with people and allow them in the fellowship we are in a sense condoning their sin. It says in verse twelve that we are not to judge those outside the church (those who don't call themselves Christians). God will judge them. BUT, those who say they are representing Christ will be judged by their fruits and as brothers and sisters we are called to judge them. This is also important because Christ said that many would come to Him calling Him Lord that He would not allow into heaven because He "never knew them." Wouldn't it be loving to confront someone living sinfully and ask them (as Paul does in numerous letters) to examine their faith and make sure they truly know Christ?!

The most loving thing we can do is hold our brothers and sisters accountable. For example, I dated a non-believer at one weak point in my life. No body confronted me except one person. She said to me: "Katie, I don't care about anything else involving this guy. If he doesn't love and fear the Lord he is not for you." I was so angry at her at the time. But after I finally broke up with him (it was only a month that we were together but it seemed like forever because I was being disobedient) I was SO THANKFUL to this friend. She was the only one who loved me enough to give God's perspective on my sin.

Why do we hate confrontation so much? Why do we hate to be rebuked or corrected? It is pride. I don't like people telling me I am wrong because I am prideful. I can't think of a time where someone has confronted me on something and they weren't right. As Christians we grow much more from constructive criticism then we do from compliments. Compliments usually just build up our flesh.

It is important that we "judge" those within the church. The world is already judging us. They see an unholy, unloving, hypocritical church and it is our duty as those within the church to confront one another, IN LOVE, so that we may grow and win a dying world to Christ! If you don't want to be judged, don't say you are a follower of Christ...

Good Wife Stuff

I was emailing a friend this morning some "good wife stuff" that I read off of: nogreaterjoy.org (Michael and Debi Pearl). I hope it convicts and encourages you as much as it did me! (It may seem a little jumbled/out of order because I copied and pasted from various articles).

"The first and the most important thing you will ever do as a mother in training your children is to reverence your husband, delight yourself in him, love to obey him, feel honored to be married to him, joy in his presence. In doing so, you are building up your house, you are creating a home, you are establishing a foundation. It is this first and most important ingredient in raising happy, obedient, creative, respectful children, children delighted to be part of the family. This kind of atmosphere in the home causes your children to love each other, to enjoy being with their own brothers and sisters.

Oh, your teens might see that you are not Mr. and Mrs. Perfect, but they will delight in the fact that their parents really like each other. It makes for a very happy, peaceful home life. It makes the promises found in the Bible become a reality. It is the reason some parents who seem to do everything wrong are still able to raise good teens, while other parents who do everything right raise sour young people.

Ladies, we have in our grasp the opportunity to reverence our husbands, thus teaching our children how to reverence God. I can change eternity by choosing to delight myself in my husband, obeying him, loving him and causing him to stand before God free from the shackles of domestic condemnation. As Mike once said, “When a wife suggests that a husband take the lead, any leading he does after that is just following her suggestion.” When you decide what course the family should take and then seek to bring your husband into compliance, you will not only spoil your marriage but your children as well.

ALL men share many of the same “faults”, and ALL women spend their time and emotional energy trying to correct those faults and are frustrated when he is man enough to stand firm against it. A splinter in a man’s eye is hard to get out when a beam is in your own eye. Love, joy, and peace will never come until you lay down your expectation for your husband and learn to cheerfully appreciate him as he is.

In the dominant role, a woman quickly becomes emotionally and physically exhausted. God made us the weaker vessels. If you are in this exhausted state, then chances are you’re carrying a lor thatad not meant for you. It is not for you to press your husband to do his duty to be spiritual. You are to live joyfully in the context he provides.

God designed us, so he knows what our husbands need in order to function properly in their roles as men who cherish the woman in their life. By nature, men need honor (this includes not questioning their decisions). They need respect (treated as if they are wise). They need reverence (daily admired as a man who is accomplishing great things). They need to be accepted for who and what they are, just like they are. Men need to feel they are in command and doing a good job.

An important part of man is a God-given, natural instinct to bring his wife pleasure. If a woman is to be greatly treasured she will choose to find pleasure in the way the man presents himself and his care. All these traits are basic masculine needs. We were created as a helpmeet to the man we married, fulfilling who and what he is. This is God’s will for us as women. When we as women obey God by responding to the needs of our husband, we are worshipping and honoring God. “Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man (1 Cor. 11:9).”

A man cannot cherish a strong woman who has expressed her displeasure with him and is holding out until he fulfills her ideal. You say he should have Christ’s love. Is that what you want? Do you want your husband to have to seek supernatural power just to find a way to love you? What most men cherish in their wives is the memory when love was fun and free, with no demands—the time when she smiled at him with a sweet, girlish, “I think you are wonderful” look. She was so feminine then, so much the woman. It was a time when he wanted to hold her just because she was his, a time when he wanted to give her everything. A vague memory keeps him hoping. He is as disappointed in love as you are, maybe more. He is just as lonely. He just fills up his loneliness doing things that will distract him from the reality of the emptiness he knows is there but does not know how to fix. His helpmeet is not pleased with him. He is a loser.

God’s reward is without measure. Men are like clay in the hands of a woman whom they can trust with their hearts. A man, lost or saved, responds to a woman who honors him. When a woman looks to her husband with a face that is full of laughter and delight, he will look forward to being with her. If her voice speaks words of thanksgiving and joyful appreciation of him, he will want to listen to her. If her actions are full of service and creativity, and if she has goodwill towards him, he will be drawn to her as a bee is to honey. This kind of lady is altogether feminine. She is what God created and gave to Adam.

I've asked a male or two this question in a over a dozen foreign countries: "What is the most valuable and attractive attribute a woman can have in your culture?" The answer has been consistent in every country, Happy, cheerful, fun, joyful, smiling, good attitude...etc.