Why More Kids?!

"I couldn't handle 5 kids!"

"I was done at 2."

"I just don't have the patience for that many kids."

"Why have more kids? How are you going to have a relationship with each of them?!"

I have heard these statements and questions many times. "Why have more kids?" I like to reply with: "Why not?" I don't know about you, but many of my own answers to the "why not?" are selfish. 

We are allowing God to plan our family size because:

*I want everyone that God wants here, here.

*I don't want one little person to be missing from our family.

*I know that God uses children to refine us in major ways to make us more like His Son.

*I believe He designed us to have children. He designed us with a desire to be intimate and out of that intimacy He designed conception. (p.s. I know intimacy has more purposes than just making babies) Preventing pregnancy goes against His design and His desire to bless us with the wonderful gift of a child! 

*Children are forever. I don't like messing with deciding if a little one that lasts forever exists in the first place. That's too big of a decision for me.

*My husband has the conviction to let God lead in all areas of life including family planning. 

*Children are presented as a blessing, gift and reward and why turn that down from our Creator? He presents debt as a curse and children as a blessing... it seems our culture is embracing the wrong one.

I am not doing this:

*Because I want a whole bunch of kids.

*Because I am so good at being a mom (I am not a very good one. Especially with babies.)

*Because I want to earn extra points in heaven.

*Because I love being pregnant (I hate it actually because I have 9 month all day "morning" sickness). 

Here I am with our second "reversal baby". Chloe Marie.

So.... What are your reasons for the way you "family plan"?

Further Reading: 
My first blog post about our vasectomy reversal

Love these thoughts from Barbie at "In the Nursery of the Nation" 

Kelly Crawford with Generation Cedar

A neat interview by Holly Elliff on Revive Our Hearts

My Favorite Places Online!

The internet can be such a blessing... and a distraction. Let's use it more for the blessing part and look for ways to build ourselves and our homes up spiritually! 

Here are some of my favorite places to do that:

Looking for some awesome audio messages on godly womanhood?! 
https://www.reviveourhearts.com/resource-library/programs/p/Revive%20Our%20Hearts/topic/Womanhood/ 

A great resource for bible study! 
https://www.biblegateway.com/

Our associate pastor's wife's blog! I met her through her wonderful blog! 
http://jessconnell.com/

I have been following Kelly's blog for years and have been so encouraged! 
http://www.generationcedar.com/main/

Another great resourse for bible study! 
http://www.blueletterbible.org/

Got questions about the bible or Christianity in general? This place has solid answers! 
http://www.gotquestions.org/

Our church website and audio sermon page! 
http://woodlandchristian.net/messages.php?show=messages

Endless sermon options here!
 http://www.sermonaudio.com/main.asp

Looking for solid homeschooling info?
 https://www.christianheritageonline.org/

Looking for godly tv? Hard to find I know. Look no further! Joni did an awesome job creating a tv series that will build your family up! 
http://www.joniandfriends.org/television/

Facebook Reflections

I have been off facebook for four months now. My original intention was to just take a month off but after my first month off I realized I didn't want to get back on.

When you are not on the biggest social network in the world you may feel a little left out but you will probably get a lot more done in the real world. There are those rare people that some how "don't check their facebook much" but I don't know many... most seem to check it constantly and then recheck it.... like I did. 

About 6 months ago I was asking the Lord what His will was for my life and it is answered quite simply in Titus 2: to keep my home, to love my husband and to love my children. Unfortunately, facebook wasn't part of the list. So I thought I would take a month off and that month turned into four months.

This post by Kelly Crawford also convicted the socks off of me! 

I have been reflecting lately: "what is it about facebook that makes it so appealing and for some, addictive?"

Here are three possible answers to that question:

1. Everyone wants to be affirmed. We all love to hear: "good job!" "I believe in you!" "I like you!" We all enjoy a nice compliment, but sometimes that craving can get unhealthy and before we know it we are craving the approval of man more than the approval of God. It is His opinion that matters most! It is His opinion we should crave the most! It is His "like" that we should be looking for! You have all the affirmation you will ever need in Christ. 

2. Everyone wants to be heard. One of my children in particular wants to be heard. So much so that when he is not heard his eyes often fill with tears. Some adults are like that too. They just want to be heard! They just want to vent whatever is on their mind and have others say: "I hear you." Facebook provides this for many people. 

3. Everyone wants to feel connected. We are made to be social, hence the word "social network". Facebook provides a sort of crack-cocaine form of feeling connected. God designed us to feel like part of a community and facebook provides that... in a way.  

Here is something to think about though:

Is the facebook world robbing our families of the opportunity to be the ones that primarily affirm us, hear us and make us feel connected?

Are we so tuned into our computer and phone screens that the very ones God put around us are not able to love us the way He designed because we are so distracted by our facebook family? 

Not everyone needs to get off facebook. But for now, it is best for me. My hope is not that this post makes anyone feel condemned but that it makes you think about why you are on facebook and if you are letting it rob you of the real life relationships and duties God has given you right within the four walls of your home. 

 "make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands." 1 Thess. 4:11

4 Ways to Nurture Your Marriage In Busy Times

It's easy to pay attention to your husband and put his needs first when it's just the two of you. But when you throw 2, 3, 5, 8 kids into the mix it makes things a lot more difficult. Add to that homeschooling and ministry and you are bound to be scrambling just to keep your head on straight much less figuring out how to pour into your marriage. But it's easier than you think! Here are four ways even the busiest wife can nurture her marriage:

#1 Smile. Weird huh? But when's the last time you intentionally looked at your husband across the room and smiled? A smile can change the whole mood in the home. When your kids are running around like monkeys make an effort to look at him and smile. This is a small way to warm his heart and let him know you not only love him, but you like him. 

#2 Text him. Text him things you are thankful for about him. Text him about how thankful you are that he works hard for the family. Text him some of your favorite things about his personality. Text him about how you appreciate his love for your kids. Text him anything during the day that will encourage him and put a little pep in his step!

#3 Put the kids to bed early and plan a "in home date night". Make his favorite dessert and sit together at the dining room table or out on the front porch and talk about your day. It's amazing how much this time together can nurture your marriage and save you money! :) 

#4 Touch him. Embrace him with a big hug and kiss when he gets home. Hold his hand when you sit together. Lay your head on his chest when you sit next to each other on the couch. Some men are not "touchers" and so you can ignore this one. But it is important that you find out how he does feel loved! Does he light up when you verbally affirm him? Does he seem extra thankful when you serve him his favorite meal or bring him a cup of coffee? Does he beam with joy when you surprise him with a special gift? Figure out what blesses him the most and look for ways to incorporate it into your life! Figuring out your husband's love language and looking for opportunities to do it will be a major way to nurture your marriage. One love language most men share is sexual intimacy. Be sure to be available sexually for your husband too! You are the one woman he gets for life to satisfy him and you don't want to disappoint. God has made it very clear in His Word that your body belongs to him too. Don't deny him. 

When we pour into our husbands and marriage this way we are nurturing ourselves too! When we feed our marriage we are feeding ourselves! After all, two become one flesh. However you nurture him you nurture you.

Please leave a comment and give your own ideas of ways that you nurture your marriage in the midst of busyness. Also let me know if you do one of these four things! Would love to hear how it goes!

Headcovering Movement

There seems to be much talk about headcoverings around me lately. In person and on the web.

Here are some great online resources/links I would recommend if you are wanting some further reading/studying.

This one is a short book written by India Evangelist K.P. Yohannon.

Here is a great sermon on why wearing a head covering is not cultural but biblical:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=731&v=pe8BZ_Lbwsc

Here are a number of great articles too: http://www.headcoveringmovement.com/articles-series

Great video answering why the passage is talking about an actual head covering and not saying that your covering is your hair: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqzYQR2olF4


Ladies! Don't do what every one else is or isn't doing around you. Decide for yourselves what the Scriptures say. Be sure to read my post on why I wear a headcovering to public worship. 

1 Cor. 11:2-16

Instructions for Public Worship

2 I am so glad that you always keep me in your thoughts, and that you are following the teachings I passed on to you. 3 But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.[a] 4 A man dishonors his head[b] if he covers his head while praying or prophesying. 5 But a woman dishonors her head[c] if she prays or prophesies without a covering on her head, for this is the same as shaving her head. 6 Yes, if she refuses to wear a head covering, she should cut off all her hair! But since it is shameful for a woman to have her hair cut or her head shaved, she should wear a covering.[d]

7 A man should not wear anything on his head when worshiping, for man is made in God’s image and reflects God’s glory. And woman reflects man’s glory.8 For the first man didn’t come from woman, but the first woman came from man. 9 And man was not made for woman, but woman was made for man.10 For this reason, and because the angels are watching, a woman should wear a covering on her head to show she is under authority.[e]

11 But among the Lord’s people, women are not independent of men, and men are not independent of women. 12 For although the first woman came from man, every other man was born from a woman, and everything comes from God.

13 Judge for yourselves. Is it right for a woman to pray to God in public without covering her head? 14 Isn’t it obvious that it’s disgraceful for a man to have long hair? 15 And isn’t long hair a woman’s pride and joy? For it has been given to her as a covering. 16 But if anyone wants to argue about this, I simply say that we have no other custom than this, and neither do God’s other churches.

The VERY BEST Way to Make Money From Home!

Okay, are you ready? You want to hear the very best way to make money from home?! Here it goes....

DON'T SPEND MONEY!

Yep. That's it. So many women go back to work because "they have to" (don't get me wrong! I know there are cases in which women really do have to go back to work). But many women actually could stay home if they just wouldn't spend the money their husband is making.

I know it's impossible to not spend ANY money, but so many women WASTE money. How many actually buy what they need instead of what they want? How many women are looking for ways to save by not spending rather than shopping the sales? Many of those "sale purchases" are unnecessary and shouldn't have been purchased in the first place! Just because something is on sale doesn't mean you should buy it!

Think of ALL THE MONEY you would have if you didn't waste it! Think of all the money you would have if you didn't waste it on meals to go because you did a better job planning meals for the week! Think of all the money you would have if you simply stopped spending it!

Those $40 shoes that you "have to have", not so much. That "special" toy that you MUST buy your 5 year old only so they can toss it to the side in a week in hopes of getting something else, not so much.

STOP SPENDING MONEY AND WATCH YOUR MONEY GROW!

Precious treasure and oil are in a wise man's dwelling, but a foolish man devours it.
(Proverbs 21:20)

So, that's my advice for a stay at home business! You will make big bucks for sure!

P.s. Be sure to check out HOW WE PAID OFF OUR MORTGAGE ON ONE INCOME (I'll give you a hint, a lot of it has to do with NOT SPENDING MONEY :)

5 Ways We Ruin Our Relationships With Our Children

Our relationships with our children can be such a blessing but there may be some ways we are hindering it from being a blessing...especially for them. I would like to encourage you to live in ways that do not embitter your children toward you. I haven’t had children very long, only 8 years, but I have been in ministry for about 10 years and I have seen some pretty sad and sour relationships between mothers and their children. Here are the top 5 ways I am seeing parents ruin their relationships with their children:

1. Poor communication. Some parents simply don't talk with their children and when they do it’s often with a loud irritated voice...with annoyance or biting words. We need to be available to our children. We need to be women they can look up to and whom they WANT to talk to. We need to be approachable and not freak out when they share their honest feelings and questions. Freaking out is what makes our children NOT want to communicate with us. Speak with your children often. Ask them questions often. Praise them often. Communicate how much you love them and tell them specifically the things about them you are grateful for often.
2. Being a bad role model in what a wife should be like. Many sons and daughters have become embittered with their mothers because of how they treat their daddy.  Even if daddy isn’t living out that spiritual leadership role he should, our role as wives is to submit to and honor our husbands. Don’t try and poison your children toward their daddy. Esteem him. Praise his good points. Don’t ever mention his weaknesses to them. Our role is to show them what a godly, submissive, gentle wife looks like. We aren't responsible for our husband's behavior.
3. Not loving them. This may seem like a duh point. But it’s one that needs revisiting because it’s easy as a mom to go about life, working through our to do list, making sure the kids are bathed and fed, and forgetting the essential action of love. Titus 2 says that the older women are to instruct the younger women to love their husbands with a friendly love and to love their children with an affectionate love. It’s the greek word philoteknos (Fa-La-Tick-Nos) and it’s only used this one time in the new testament. It comes from the greek word phileo which as you know refers to friendly love. The older women are to teach the younger women to have a friendly love toward their husbands AND their children. Why? I think it’s because we forget to love this way. We can often end up loving like servants, meeting their daily needs and training our children in the ways of life but we forget to have fun with them. We forget to hold their hand and laugh with them. We forget how much it means to them when we participate in their favorite game, craft or other hobby. Let’s love our children with that friendly love and shower them with affection, even (or especially) when we don't feel like it or feel like that is our "love language". To truly love others often means doing so outside our comfort zone and against our natural inclinations.
4. Being lazy and expecting them not to be. I think this is a relatively new issue. I bettcha 100 years ago children didn't see lazy parents! Our i-phones, televisions and computers constantly tempt us to lay around and shout orders at our kids. They watch us as we spend hours scrolling our phones, watching our favorite episodes on tv and surfing the web for hours while we get frustrated with them for wanting to play with their electronics. Something I have to constantly remind myself is that my children are not my little slaves, yes they have chores, yes they "carry their share" around here, but I am the one called to be the homemaker... I am the one that primarily is called to keep the home and I think many children are embittered toward their parents because their parents expect them to work hard around the home while they lay around. God says: "Whoever is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys." (Prov. 18:9) When we are slack in our work at home we are sisters to him who destroys. Let's set an example for our children in working hard and not just shout at them "work harder!".
   
5. Being a different mommy at home than you are in public. This one hits close to home. Can I share a super humiliating moment with you that recently happened? My husband and I live in a parsonage. We have a lot of traffic right outside our door often. We have a lot of traffic that consists of our closest friends. Recently one of my friends (who walked through my carport to leave the church, that's how close our home is to the church) confronted me on how I was talking to my kids when I was at home. You see, I don't talk to my kids at home like I would in public and this could potentially make my children very bitter toward me. Lord help me! I told the friend thank you and cringed inside. My immediate response was pride. I thought: "I never get 'a day off'! I'm always 'on'! It's not fair living next to the church! I live in a fish bowl everyday!" And then I was convicted and humbled and started thanking the Lord instead of having a pity party. What a gift that was for my friend to show me what a hypocrite I was! What a gift that was for her to love me enough to rebuke me and reveal very clearly that I was being a different mommy at home than I was in public. Be the same mommy at home as you are in public. The Lord's eyes are never far and we truly have to live for an Audience of One.