What Do You Let Steal Your Identity?

We recently had a ladies conference at our church and this is a transcript of my message! The theme was: Identity In Christ. To listen to my message click here. 

What titles or identities do you crave? Do you want to be known as a woman who has self-control? Is smart? Thin? Pretty? How about an excellent homemaker? Independent? Popular? Funny? We all crave different identities.

My hope is that through this post the list of identities you crave will dramatically change.
Our sense of identity will determine so much about our lives. It determines if we feel a sense of belonging or a sense of loneliness. A sense of purpose or a sense of uselessness. A sense of hope or a sense of despair. Who we think we are determines so much and it is vital that as Christian women we have a Christ centered, biblical perspective of our identity.

(2 Cor. 5:17) "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."

(1 Peter 2:9) "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." 

( Gal. 2:20) "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

So just looking at those 3 verses alone I was able to gather 9 ways that God identifies us as believers.  I have 9 blanks for you on your insert to fill in.

He says we are

#1. A new creation
#2. Chosen
#3. Royalty
#4. Holy
#5. His own possession
#6. Called out of darkness
#7. Crucified with Christ
#8. Living by faith
#9. Loved

Look over that short list. It should make us all very thankful! Looking over those nine identities should bring us all a sense of joy and gratitude for who God says we truly are in Him! If you are in Christ, these are just some of the marvelous ways God describes you. 

The world on the other hand, wants to rob us of these beautiful descriptions! The world wants to give us counterfeit identities that make us feel important at first but then later only leave us more unsatisfied and longing for more. In other words, the world and your enemy want to practice identity theft on you. Let me read this secular description of identity theft: “identity theft is the deliberate use of someone else's identity, usually as a method to gain a financial advantage or other benefits in the other person's name. The person whose identity has been assumed may suffer adverse consequences. Identity theft occurs when someone uses another's personally identifying information without their permission.”

Now let's look at this from a spiritual perspective: Spiritual identity theft is the deliberate use of a Christian’s identity to zap them of all joy and peace that they are supposed to have in Christ. This causes great pain and confusion in the Christian’s life. They wander around often unaware that their identity has even been stolen and unaware that in fact they often gave it away. Spiritual identity theft is all too common in a Christian woman’s life.
I have provided for you six warnings, that if you heed them, they will help you to fight against spiritual identity theft. Warning number 1: Don’t let your past take your identity. So many Christian women feel bound to their past. They play the same records over and over again. “I was abused. I was a child of a drunk. I was the daughter of a single mom. I had an abortion. I did drugs.” Whatever their pasts are they meditate on them and are unable to move past them because in a sense they are claiming their pasts as their identity rather than who Christ says they are. They are allowing their past to commit identity theft. Picture a butterfly flying around and all day it’s sad because it USED to be a caterpillar. Everyday his little butterfly friends are telling him: “Yeah, but you’re not a caterpillar anymore! We’ve been changed! We’re new creations now! We are something completely different. Rejoice! that old has gone behold the new has come!” And then imagine he ignores his friends and continues to mope around not experiencing the joy he is meant to have as a butterfly because he repeats over and over, “I used to be a caterpillar. I used to be a caterpillar. It was so terrible when I was a caterpillar.” Now wouldn’t you feel sorry for that butterfly? Wouldn’t you think what in the world butterfly?! get it through your head! You’re not a caterpillar anymore! In fact you are something totally new and different.” Now I know that is a super cheesy analogy but I like it anyway. Too many of us are butterflies mourning over the caterpillar that we once were. Many of us who God declares are new creations are spending our whole life moping and mourning because of what we WERE or because of what WAS. If our identity in Christ were based on our pasts we would all have some lame identities. But praise God! Our identity in Christ is based on Him and not our pasts. Your identity in Christ is based on Him and not you. The same goes for His love for you. His love for you is never based on you. His love for you is based on who you are IN HIM. His love for you is based on what He accomplished not on what you accomplished or are accomplishing. If you struggle with letting your past become your identity I would recommend 2 Cor. 5:17 become one of your memory verses that you can say outloud and use to help take your thoughts captive, reminding yourself that it doesn’t matter who you say you are, it matters who your Creator says you are, and He says, if you are in Him you are a new creation.

Warning number 2: Don’t let your weaknesses steal your identity. Ok, but you don’t really know me Katie. I sure don’t feel like a new creation. I hate myself. I hate my weaknesses. My struggles. I never change. Does that sound familiar? We all hate our struggles and weaknesses. Turn with me to 2 Cor. 12:7. We will read through verse 10.

“So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Let’s break this down a bit. Verse 7 says: "To keep me from becoming conceited.” Believe it or not we are all capable of becoming conceited. Praise God for our weaknesses because they remind us we have nothing to be conceited about. Praise God that He knew we would become so puffed up with ourselves if we did not have weaknesses or struggles to remind us of how fragile and helpless we really are! This is why Paul can say he will boast all the more gladly in his weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon him instead of the power of Paul. We all need the power of Christ to rest upon us, not the power of self.

Imagine you had no weaknesses or struggles. Your power would be found in yourself. Instead of letting your struggles and weaknesses become your identity, make them propel you into worship of Christ. Recognize that they are able to turn you away from yourself and toward Him. Never let your weaknesses do the opposite and turn you away from Christ while focusing on yourself. You are not defined by your weaknesses and struggles. They are simply there to remind you that when you are weak you are strong because your weaknesses force you to draw from His strength.

I will close this warning with a quote from the gospel coalition: “The bedrock of our rejoicing isn’t the goodness of our day, but the goodness of our God. It’s him strengthening me that allows me to abound. Not me being strong enough to no longer need him.”  Warning number 3: Don’t let your strengths take your identity. This one is tricky isn’t it? What are you praised for in your life? Your weaknesses? Do people go on and on about how much you gossip or how much you interrupt and never stop talking or what a glutton you are or your anger problem. No. People praise you about your strengths. This makes it very easy unfortunately to have our strengths become our identity. This makes it very easy to cling to our strengths and make them our all and all. Whatever strengths you have they are strictly there to glorify Him and not you. Remember when I read from 1 Peter 2: 9 “ a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him”? Looks like our strengths don’t even belong to us. Looks like they’re His. Looks like they are only there to help proclaim His excellencies, not ours.

Whatever strengths you do have they are meant to build up His reputation and not yours. Don’t let your strengths steal your identity. Instead remind yourself that you are not your own possession and your strengths are meant to point others to Him and not you.
Warning number 4: Don’t let comparison steal your identity. Comparison is often the thief of joy isn’t it? I do want to say at the onset of this lesson though that sometimes I think comparison can actually be used to push us in the right direction and not the wrong direction. I don’t think it is ALWAYS a bad thing. Let me explain, there have been some very godly women I have compared myself to and it has pushed me toward Christ and away from myself. It has actually increased my security in my identity in Christ. It has compelled me to want to be more like them because it seems they have a better grasp on who they are in Christ than I do. That form of comparison though is not what I am warning you against.

Comparison in most womens’ lives destroys their identity. God has a specific plan and purpose for YOUR LIFE that looks different from His plan for others’ lives.

One of my heros of the faith is Joni Earekson Tada. That woman has chosen to not compare her life to others. Joni was in a diving accident as a teenager and has been paralyzed from the neck down ever since. She is 66 years old now. So for about 50 years I am sure this dear woman has had to battle the temptation of comparison. I am sure comparison has wanted to steal her identity numerous times. She has chosen HOWEVER to find her identity in Christ alone and thereby not worry about how God has chosen to plan other people’s lives. She doesn’t spend time comparing instead she spends time giving praise to her Maker.

Listen to these beautiful words from her. “The nice thing is God understands the art of pruning. In John 15:2 it says that the Lord "cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will bear even more fruit.” Sometimes God seems merciless with His pruning shears and, like Job, we often feel like the Lord's sharp shears have clipped our lives so close to the root that we don't see how anything could ever grow back. I should know this. I broke my neck when I was just a teenager and, believe me, dealing with quadriplegia at so young an age was very hard. God really clipped my life close to the root. But God's purpose in pruning us back couldn't be more virtuous, more noble, for if we are bearing fruit in His kingdom, He'll prune us so that we can be even more fruitful. God is an expert with His shears and He is looking for believers who are happy to yield to the cutting edge of those clippers, and when you do, hope returns. New life pokes up from the stump and joy reappears.”

Praise God for this woman’s submissive heart to Him and His pruning. We cannot be living in the detrimental practice of comparison and submitted to God at the same time. We can’t be so consumed with how the Lord chooses to prune or not prune others’ lives and have confidence in His plans for our lives. We cannot be submitted to His pruning and whining that we don’t have what others have. When we choose to avoid comparing our lot with the lot that God has given others we will find the vibrant confidence Joni speaks of. Our identity in Christ can never be found if we are living a life filled with comparison. Warning number 5: Don’t let YOUR plans for your life steal your identity: We all have BIG plans for ourselves don’t we? In five years my life will look like…. Fill in the blank. In 20 years I will be….. When I get married to the love my life we will have this many kids and live on property and grow our own food and have no debt and NEVER fight and my husband and I will partner together to train up our children in the way they should go and they will DEFINITELY go that way and everyone will talk well of us and want to be us and…

OH. MY!! But we do this. We wrap our identity up in this make believe world we have created for ourselves or this world we think we so justly deserve and then when God doesn’t deliver we are very disappointed and often angry. We have all these dreams and plans and forget that His plan is probably WAAAAAY different.

Do you think Joni had a different plan for her life?

Turn with me to Luke Chapter 1 starting in verse 38 we read Mary’s response to the angel when he tells her that she will be a pregnant virgin. “Then Mary said. Um no sorry Gabe, that’s definitely not in my plans. Do you have any idea what that means for me? Joseph and I aren’t even married yet! This is going to ruin my reputation and his and forever change my plans for my life! Thanks but no thanks.” No that’s not what she said. She said: “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.”

Now let me ask you, do you think Mary was ready for this? Do you think it was ever in her plans or dreams to become a pregnant virgin and be mocked and ridiculed by many? Do you think she maybe had other plans for her and Joseph? Do you think she was afraid? And yet, look at her response how does she refer to herself?: “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.” I love how the NLT puts it: ““I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” THIS is the response we should have to our Lord when He takes OUR plans for our lives and changes them… even dramatically… Mary’s identity never changed, she always saw herself as a maidservant of the Lord. She knew she was not her own. She understood her identity.

Is that your identity? Do you identify yourself as His maidservant ready to do His will? When we find our identity in Him rather than in all our dreams and plans and the way we THINK things should be we will truly find our identity in Christ AND we will live a life filled with joy and thanksgiving rather than bitterness and ingratitude.

Here is a wonderful quote by John Piper: “Occasionally weep deeply over the life you had hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Then wash your face. Trust God. And embrace the life you have.” I particularly love that last part! Embrace the life you have!

Too many of us are having an identity crisis because we spend so much time trying to identify with a life that isn’t ours… that we may have hoped for but that isn’t reality… embrace reality. Be like Joni Earkson Tada. Or Helen Keller who was born with the ability to see and hear and at 19 months old, she contracted an illness and it left her both deaf and blind. She lived a lovely life not consumed with how she wished her life would be and here is one of my favorite quotes of hers: “So much has been given to me, I have no time to ponder over that which has been denied.” Are you doing that? Are you so wrapped up in what has been give to you that you have no time to ponder what has been denied? Don’t let YOUR plans for your life steal your identity. Embrace His plans. Embrace the life you have.

Warning number 6: Don’t let your emotions take your identity. This is definitely one I think we can all relate to. Our emotions and feelings often have way too much sway over who we think we are. We let our feelings determine our identity instead the Word of God determining our identity. Listen to this quote by DG Hart: We should understand that the subjective depends on the objective. Right emotions depend on, and derive from, sound doctrine.” Right emotions depend on and derive from sound doctrine. If you know who you are in Christ, if your doctrine is correct on your identity you can use it to influence and direct your feelings and emotions rather than having your identity rest on how you are feeling. Here’s what some may struggle with though in regards to this. Many of you have been Christians for a long time. You have known you are loved, holy, chosen, called out of darkness, a new creation but rather than having those truths run your life you let emotions run your life. Rather than taking that head knowledge and living out daily as truth you store it away and say “yeah, I know all of that.” But you don’t. Your life proves you don’t really know that.  

When our feelings determine who we are we are sure to find ourselves in a mess. We are sure to have a wrong view of our identity in Christ. Elisabeth Elliot said: “We float on feelings that will carry us where we were never meant to go; we bubble with emotional experiences that we often take for spiritual ones; and we are puffed up with pride. Instead of seriousness, there is foolishness. Instead of gravity, flippancy. Sentimentality takes the place of theology. Our reference point will never serve to keep our feet on solid rock, for our reference point, until we answer God’s call, is merely ourselves.”

Don’t let your emotions be your reference point. Don’t let them steal your identity. One of my favorite little sermon clips on youtube is of a wonderful preacher named Allistair Begg. He shared how he went to a different church on vacation one time and when the worship leader got up before the church he shouted: “How do you FEEL?!” Allistair said to himself: “How do I feel?! I feel crummy! Don’t ask me that question! Ask me what I know! Ask me what I know about God! Ask me what I know about His Word!”

We must quit asking ourselves how we feel and start asking ourselves "what do I know?” This is why the Word of God is so paramount in our lives. Reading it daily and listening to it daily, will continue to strengthen your identity in Christ and diminish your identity in how you are feeling.

The enemy wants to commit identity theft on you and have it wrapped up in your past, your weaknesses, your strengths, your propensity to compare, the big plans you have your life and your emotions. But God wants your identity wrapped up in who He says you are.

Jen Wilkin said: “We are what we behold.” Do you believe that? If you behold His Word daily, not just in reading but in your heart and mind, you will become more of what it describes you to be. If however you behold the lies that circulate in this world through media or even the lies of your own thoughts and feelings, you will buy into those lies more and more. Behold your God. Behold who He says you are. Don’t look at your circumstances. Stop looking at what you wish would have been or what might be. Stop looking at others. Stop looking at how strong you are or how weak you are. Stop looking at your past and how you are feeling. Look at Him. Behold Him. Remember who He is. He is the Alpha and OMega. The King of kings. He is your Creator. The Almighty One who will never leave you or forsake you. He is the Author of life and Sovereign over all things. He is good. All knowing. He is love. It is in this God that you are to find your true identity.

Hebrews 12:1-2 “let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, llooking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Look to Him. Read His Word to find out who He is and you will find out who you really are.

Learn To Suffer Well

I have discovered the secret to a happy life and I am pretty sure Joel Osteen would not agree with me. Here it is: learn to suffer well! The secret to a happy life is not to avoid suffering but to rejoice in it.

Anyone, whether a Christian or not, can be joyful when times are good... Anyone can be happy when circumstances are "just as they should be"... but it takes a Christian with deep and firm trust in the Lord to suffer well. It takes a Christian whose eyes and heart are fixed on Christ to smile in the midst of suffering.

I don't like to suffer. In fact my flesh hates it and continually craves to escape it's claws. But my spirit, who I am in Christ, beckons me to rejoice in my suffering and to count it all joy when I fall into various trials. This goes against everything in our old man and in our culture. Our old man and culture want comfort and security more than anything. God calls us to find our comfort and security in Him and not in our circumstances. This calling is only possible when we have truly surrendered to His will for our lives and when we have completely committed to setting our eyes on things above, not on things on the earth.

Recently, 6 weeks ago, I gave birth to my fifth child. What a joy my sweet Chloe is to me! But my pregnancies and postpartum recovery are not so joyous. They include lots of suffering and trials. I am sick my entire pregnancy, and then after nine months of nausea, I give birth only to feel like I am heading into a pit of anxiety and depression I can't get out of. My anxiety after birth is through the roof and I am crying up to 10 times a day... I had a dear friend come over recently and say to me: "Are you sure it's God's plan for your life to keep having children?! It's so hard for you!" I looked at her and said: "If you can find anywhere in the bible where it says that suffering and hardship are bad I will reconsider." But you can't find it. Nope. Instead you find that God uses suffering and hardship big time for our good. I enjoy those "happy go lucky" seasons just like everyone else but I know God does a lot more sanctifying through those trials and desperate times. 

I started asking myself, could Satan accuse me, like he did Job, of only praising God because things are going good? Could he say I only give thanks because I am not suffering?

"'Does Job fear God for nothing?” Satan replied. “Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. But now stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face.'" Job 1:9-11

In other words, Satan said: "Job only loves you because you have made his life comfy. If you brought great trials into his life surely his faith would be shaken and he would curse you and no longer praise you." But Satan was wrong.

Would Satan be wrong about you? If he accused you as he did Job, would his accusation be unfounded? Do you give thanks in all circumstances or do you give thanks in your preferred circumstances?

"...give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thess. 5:18

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

"...we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Rom. 5:3-5

God has a great purpose for us in calling us to rejoice in our suffering and in calling us to count our trials as joys and here is the purpose: the more we practice rejoicing in suffering and counting it all joy to fall into VARIOUS trials and the less we practice moaning, groaning, whining, complaining and worrying in the midst of suffering, the more we will grow in our faith and the more endurance, patience and hope we will have! 

As we cling to Christ in the midst of tears our faith will grow and our hope increase!

Besides, Jesus Himself suffered GREATLY! Why should we be above suffering if God Himself came and suffered? 


"He, for the joy [of obtaining the prize] that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Heb. 12:2

"During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him." Heb. 5:7-9

Christ's life was filled with persecution, abandonment, homelessness and great physical suffering. Notice how it says He endured the cross for the joy set before Him! It doesn't say He enjoyed the cross because He liked to suffer. No. He endured it because of what the cross meant. The cross and His suffering, meant YOUR salvation! His suffering meant hope for all mankind!

You and I are called to endure, to count it all joy and to rejoice in suffering, not because of the suffering itself but because of what the suffering produces. God accomplishes great things in suffering that never come out of joyful/easy/comfortable times, seasons and circumstances.

If you want a truly happy life, one that is happy in all seasons of life, learn to suffer well. Whatever suffering you are experiencing today, or in this season of life, remember to rejoice, to count it all joy and to endure it because you trust in the God Who is going to bring mighty things out of it. Your suffering will bring endurance, character, hope, maturity and perseverance and that is worth rejoicing in!

8 Practical Ways To Beat the Winter Blues

 

Winter is coming. Some people are stressing about the inevitable "winter blues". I hope this practical post gives you some ideas to implement into your winter agenda that will help beat the blues! Maybe this list is overwhelming? Try to implement one a week and see how much each one helps rather than trying to do it all at once.

#1 Clean. Sound weird? It's not. A messy house and clutter are linked to depression. The more you sit around in your mess the more likely you will feel the affects of it on your mood. GET UP and CLEAN UP! The cleaning will distract you and the finished product will be much more enjoyable to be in. Since we spend a lot more time inside during the winter doesn't it just make sense that the cleaner your surroundings the less likely you will feel down?

#2 Listen to Christian Music and Audio Bible. While you're cleaning (or doing anything really) be sure to listen to Christian music AND SING WITH IT. Nothing fixes the blues for me like singing to the King of kings! We are constantly thinking all day and singing forces our minds to think about something else. If you are singing worship music it takes your eyes off your self and onto Him and thinking about Him and praising Him is a natural anti-depressant."fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith." (Hebrews 12:2) Listening to the bible is also a great way to fix your eyes on Jesus and think about spiritual things rather than temporal things. 

#3 MOVE. Your body was made to move. Winter time can leave us wanting to hibernate and lay around all day. Not good for the blues. Your body releases natural "happy brain chemicals" called endorphins when you move. The less you move the worse you feel. I am only doing 30 min. a day 4-5 times a week and I see it make a tremendous difference. Look for some piece of simple exercise equipment (used!) and save up to get it and then most importantly use it. Maybe you already have a piece of equipment? Dust it off and use it! OR you can get different workout videos through your library for free to change it up a bit! Get the kids involved and have PE every day. They'll enjoy it too! And on the days when it's not raining, GET OUTSIDE. Being outside, even when it's overcast, is a great mood booster.

#4 Get enough rest. I take a nap about 5 times a week on top of going to bed around 11 and getting up at 7! This may seem excessive but I think it helps me greatly in fighting depression. I see a direct link between me being "overly emotional" and not getting enough sleep. There are so many things that tempt us these days to not get enough rest but by saying no to those (and yourself) you are doing yourself a big favor! 

#5 Take Care of Yourself! #3, #4 and #5 kind of go together. Part of taking care of yourself is getting enough rest and exercise. Another part to taking care of yourself is: Eating well, drinking well and supplementing well.

*First, eating well. To put it simply, I think the best way to eat is to refrain from too many carbs (especially simple carbs like white bread), eliminate as much sugar as possible and consume lots of vegetables. I do think that the Trim Healthy Mama diet is good not only for weight loss but for mood as well! One reason I think that it is good for our moods is because blood sugar is directly related to how we feel. People who eat lots of carbs/foods high on the glycemic index often ride a roller coaster of emotions as their blood sugar fluctuates through out the day. The Trim Healthy Mama diet really helps to keep your blood sugar levels consistent without that roller coaster effect.

*Drinking well. Believe it or not, getting enough water influences how you feel emotionally as well as physically! I try and keep my mason jars with ice and water full all day for me to sip on. Drink water. Also, you can try out a couple of my "energy drinks" and see if they help with your mood!

*Supplementing well. In addition to eating and drinking there are so many things you can supplement to your diet to help with your mood! There are many herbs, vitamins and minerals that are conveniently ready for us to consume to help us attain optimal health and mood! The basic ones that I take every day are: Emergen-C (which if you do subscribe and save is only 23 cents a day and I also split one package up between my four kiddos during the winter in their smoothies), Iron (again, I do the subscribe and save to save money) and vitamin d. These are the only three that I supplement with but they seem to work for me! I take 200% of my daily value of iron a day and 300% daily when I am struggling with postpartum depression. Keeping up your immunity is also a natural way to combat depression. In fact, the next time you are "feeling down" take note and see if you get a cold in the next day or two. When your immunity is down so is your mood. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

#6 Create a Schedule/Routine. This is especially applicable for stay at home moms. The more "out of sorts" you feel or the more chaos around you the more out of control you feel and the more out of control you feel the more your mood feels out of control. Create a daily routine and/or schedule and stick to it. Children thrive off of routine and so does your mood. When you lay around a lot because you "aren't sure what to do next" this may feed your feelings of hopelessness. Sit with your husband and kiddos and figure out a daily routine. This is also very important if you are like our family and limiting the television and electronic gadgets, you need to have a plan for what you are going to do with your day. Children need direction. The less direction they have the more likely they are to drive you and your mood crazy.

Here is a sneak peek into our family's daily routine.

#7 Think about others. One of the best ways to "get over yourself" is to think about others. Who do you know that is in the hospital? Who do you know that is struggling in their marriage? Who do you know that has children who have strayed from the Lord? Who do you know that is struggling financially? Pray for these people and write them a note. The act of praying and writing them will help you to focus on other people's problems rather than your own.

#8 The best way to beat the blues is to keep an eternal perspective. No matter your mood, remind yourself that it's temporary. This life is but a blink of the eye compared to the eternal glory that awaits us. "Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.…" Col. 3:2-3 Always remember true happiness is found in Christ. Seek Him in the Word and set your mind on things above.

Top Ten Ways To Be Miserable In Your Local Church Body

#1 Forget that your pastor is a sinner. Yep. Dwell on the fact that he is not perfect as often as possible and make sure to meditate on all his faults.

#2 Forget that the entire leadership is made up of sinners. While you are thinking about all your pastor's weaknesses be sure to look for all the weaknesses in all the leadership. Criticize their every decision and talk to others, but don't ever go to them with your concerns.

#3 Forget that your brothers and sisters in Christ are all sinners. This is a really important one. Go to church expecting everyone to be perfect. Get really upset when someone doesn't notice you or someone offends you. Then leave the church and tell people you don't go to church because it's filled with hypocrites.

#4 Forget you are a sinner.  Like numbers one through three instruct, focus on everyone else's faults, but do your best to forget about anything you do wrong. And since you're perfect nobody should ever wrong you. Expect the most out of everyone except yourself and get really angry when people don't live up to your standards. 

#5 Don't be involved, but then complain that you don't know anybody, and make sure to point out how your church is filled with cliques. This one is SURE to make you miserable! Make sure you are involved in the least amount of activities and events, but then make complaints like, "Nobody ever says hi to me" or "Nobody knows me." Consistently whine about all the cliques in your church and how impossible it is to get to know anyone.

#6 Get upset every Sunday about the music. Church bodies all over the world are divided over music; you can easily use this area to make yourself miserable. Make sure you criticize every song the music leader chooses and make fun of him if he makes a mistake. Bemoan how hard it is for you to listen to the hymns (if you don't like hymns) and whine about how lame the contemporary songs are if you don't like those. Be sure to do this with the leadership constantly. Forget about the fact that there is only one instance of Jesus singing (and even then it was only one song), but make sure the music in your church is one of THEE most important issues.

#7 Don't ever invite people over to your house. Then be sure to get really upset that no one ever invites you over.

#8 Wait around for the leadership to do everything, and complain about all of your ideas that aren't followed immediately. Come up with things your church SHOULD be doing, but don't do it yourself and get really angry when your pastor says, "That sounds like a great idea! Why don't you go ahead and head up that ministry?" Never offer to help serve in the areas you see there is a need.

#9 Only come to Sunday morning service and then get mad because you and your family aren't "growing." Be sure to get angry that your church body (the pastor in particular) is not meeting your family's spiritual needs when you only come to one service a week (maybe less) and are not looking for other ways to grow.

#10 Forget that the local church body is about Jesus and not you. This is THE MOST IMPORTANT AND VITAL WAY TO BE MISERABLE in your local church body. Forget that the church is for Christ and His honor, glory and purposes and make it for your honor, glory and purposes! Make church all about you!

Your Body is Wasting Away

well. it is happening. I am getting varicose veins. At first I thought I had a weird bruise on my leg... and then it wasn't going away. It took until the fifth pregnancy to get them. I read this today: "they tend to get worse with each successive pregnancy and as you get older." Great. I have "spider veins" this pregnancy as well which I also read happens more with each successive pregnancy. Lovely. I am going to be looking like a beat up spider lady. :)

At first I was discouraged. And then I thought: "You know what?! Everybody's body gets 'used up' in this life. Praise God I am able to 'use it up' to bring life into this world." Think about Christ Himself. God came, in the flesh, and His body was "used up" to bring us life! What a gift! "have the same mindset as Christ Jesus Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage, rather, He made himself nothing, by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!" (Phil. 2:5-8)

When you become a Christian, your body is a vessel the Lord USES to bring Him glory (if you allow Him to). Like Christ we are to make ourselves servants first to God and then to others. Our bodies are literally the way that we go to others and serve them through a helping hand, a hug or a listening ear. There are many ways for your body to be used! In pregnancy I get the privelage of God "using" my body to form an eternal soul! Along the way I will gain weight, be uncomfortable, hormonal and less attractive all around (hello spider veins!) but I am thankful that this is a way for my body to be used!

Using your body for God's purposes is truly a form of worship!

It is a living sacrifice for God that is wasting away: "ALL FLESH IS LIKE GRASS, AND ALL ITS GLORY LIKE THE FLOWER OF GRASS. THE GRASS WITHERS, AND THE FLOWER FALLS OFF..." (1 Peter 1:24) Your body WILL be used up in this life, the question is: how will it be used up? For your glory or His? For others' benefit or for your own selfish ambitions? 

I spent much of the first part of my life obsessing over the way my body looked, to the point where I had a severe eating disorder (anorexia) for a few years. I remember when I became a Christian and I was hit with this realization: "I have wasted so much of my life pouring into something that is going to rot in the ground!" The enemy wants to distract us ladies from the true purpose of our bodies, they are to be a living sacrifice FOR HIM, not for us. This does not mean that you "let yourself go". We should take care of our bodies, God Himself said that physical exercise is of SOME benefit (1 Tim. 4:8). The problem is, for many women, the focus is on the physical MUCH more than the spiritual and God says the spiritual "has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." Your physical body will rot but who you are in Christ is eternal.

Ingrain this on your minds: "Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised." Prov. 31:30 Beauty does not last but the fear of the Lord lasts forever! Fear Him, allow Him to use your body up for His glory and keep your minds set on things above not on things of the earth.

Even if...

What is one of your biggest fears? What do you think could be the "worst thing ever". As women, I think we are given to fear more than men, especially when it comes to our children. Those are where my worst fears are... with my children... What if...



We all have those "what ifs"... the question is do we have our "even ifs" to go with our "what ifs"? That's the important thing. We will all have our "what ifs" but if we don't have our "even ifs" to go with them then we will certainly crumble under the fear. 


I was so blessed today when I read Kay Warren's "even if". (Kay is Rick Warren's wife) I pray it blesses, encourages and challenges you like it did me!

"On July 18, 1985, I gave birth to our beloved gift of God, Matthew David Warren. Holding him in my arms that morning, I had no idea how dark the journey would get for him - and for those who love him. All I knew that bright morning was that I was madly in love with him, and could see nothing ahead but a mother's dreams of a good life for her son.

My pregnancy had been extremely difficult and included three months of TOTAL bed rest (not even able to get up to use the bathroom) due to a severe allergic reaction that temporarily crippled me and caused tremendous physical pain and discomfort. The doctors reassured me that I and the baby would be fine - but how could I be sure? What if the baby wasn't alright? What if I wasn't alright?

I remember Easter 1985 - I was sick in bed, unable to go to church. Rick took the kids to church and I stayed by myself for a few hours - the TV remote by my side as my only companion. Somehow I dropped the remote and couldn't retrieve it - so there I was, alone on one of the most joyous holidays, with not even a TV preacher to keep me company, full of anxiety and fear for myself and my unborn child. I painfully reached for my Bible and it fell open to Habakkuk 3: 17-19 (NIV):"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails, and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to go on the heights."

This was a word from the Lord to me - and I determined that even IF my worst nightmares came true - if my baby died, or I never walked again - that I would trust in God my Savior; I would rejoice in the Sovereign Lord.

Matthew David Warren was born and everything seemed fine. But by his first birthday, we began to wonder. And by his second and third birthdays, we knew he wasn't like his older sister and brother. As time unfolded, so did his struggles and I couldn't help but feel that my challenging pregnancy had negatively affected his developing brain and nervous system.
 
When he took his life last year - after battling and fighting so hard for decades - a friend sent me Habakkuh 3:17-19 in a sympathy card. She had no idea this passage was incredibly significant to me, but it was a fitting "bookend" to his life. Because I had feared for years that he would take his life....it became his greatest pursuit and my deepest anguish.....I had to come to the point in which I said as I had 27 years before - "EVEN IF my worst nightmare comes true and he takes his life, I WILL rejoice in the Lord; I will be joyful in God my Savior."

So today - his 29th birthday - through weeping - I shout it to the watching universe: I will rejoice in Lord; I will be joyful in God my Savior. My heart remains wounded and battered, but my faith is steady."

Seven Thoughts After Seven Years

Scott and I have been married seven years (as of yesterday)! What a joy it has been! He is my strong leader. The one who makes me laugh and laugh! He enjoys our kids immensely. He enjoys just sitting and visiting with me. He is a great bible teacher and we thrive on doing ministry together.

I have been pondering marriage a lot the last couple days and wanted to share seven thoughts I have after seven years:

1. Adapting to my husband makes him and me happier. I am seeing with each passing year the benefit of adapting to Scott. I am also seeing the detrimental affects of not adapting to him and pushing my own agenda. As I adapt to Scott's vision for our family and home I find there is less and less strife. No husband is going to have the exact same agenda as his wife in all things and we must submit to them as unto the Lord, ultimately doing it for God and leaving the results up to Him.  I am a lot happier when I walk in my God ordained boundaries. Scott leading and me following works best because it's God's best.

"Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord.” (Eph. 5:22, amplified)

2. Nagging isn't good. It's bad. Real bad. Not sure when you are nagging? Give your husband the freedom to tell you when he thinks you are. :) For me it is best to present my side and drop it. (Lord knows I need to improve in this area!)

"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." (prov. 25:24)

"It is not the nagging, but the behavior, that shows Christ in a life. The quiet winsomeness of a wife speaks eloquently of Jesus Christ." Jay E. Adams

"A gracious wife satisfieth a good husband, and silenceth a bad one." George Swinnock

 

3. Our children are watching us. As Rhea is getting older and understanding more I am sobered. Big time. She is watching. So is Ricky... and Johnny... and soon to be Charis as well. Our children are learning from us every moment they are around us. Rhea is learning from me about how to be a mom and a wife. Am I a joyful mom? Do I whine and complain about my house-wife duties? Or do I do them promptly and with thankfulness? How am I treating my husband? With respect? With love? Kids notice these things. They are constantly, sometimes sub-consciously, taking mental notes that are shaping who they will be as spouses and parents some day. Generations will reap what we sow.

4. Marriage is a GIFT from the Lord! The more I concentrate on his strengths the more I see what a gift he is! So many of us focus on our husband's flaws (which they all have... which WE all have). what fun is that?! That never gets me ANYwhere. Marriage can be such a gift or such a burden. The more we as wives seek to honor our husbands the more we will be blessed and enjoy marriage. The more we resist our man and push our way the more of a burden marriage will be. It's our choice. I have met some women out there married to JERKS! LOSERS! and yet, by God's grace and their desire to please Him they are living happy, fulfilled lives! I have also met some women married to hardworking, kind men and they are miserable. It's all about our focus. Our hope is to always be in God. Our identity is in Him, not our husbands.

5. I am much happier when I accept my husband for who he is! Don't try and force your husband to be someone he isn't! My favorite "wife verses": "Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,  when they see the purity and reverence of your lives." (1 Peter 3:1-2). Reminds me of the Jay Adams quote from earlier. No man is perfect in all ways except our Savior. Be thankful for the man you got! Praise him for his strengths and ignore his weaknesses.

6. Marriage is good for lots of things, like showing me what a selfish/self-righteous person I am. Unfortunately marriage has brought out the worst in me at times... I have done and said some pretty ugly things. All my ugliness, however, brings me closer to Jesus, makes me more thankful for His sacrifice and makes me more dependent on Him... that's always a good thing. Marriage is best when I put Scott's interests before my own. Marriage is not about me (although it does bless me!) It is about Him! It is for Him! It is a representation of Him and His bride!

7. Lastly, marriage doesn't last. It is temporary. In heaven we will no longer have the marriage relationship we have now (Matt. 22:30). Don't take your focus off the Lord! Your relationship with Him WILL last forever. Pour into that relationship the most and all your earthly relationships, including marriage, will be better. He makes all things better.