Learn To Suffer Well

I have discovered the secret to a happy life and I am pretty sure Joel Osteen would not agree with me. Here it is: learn to suffer well! The secret to a happy life is not to avoid suffering but to rejoice in it.

Anyone, whether a Christian or not, can be joyful when times are good... Anyone can be happy when circumstances are "just as they should be"... but it takes a Christian with deep and firm trust in the Lord to suffer well. It takes a Christian whose eyes and heart are fixed on Christ to smile in the midst of suffering.

I don't like to suffer. In fact my flesh hates it and continually craves to escape it's claws. But my spirit, who I am in Christ, beckons me to rejoice in my suffering and to count it all joy when I fall into various trials. This goes against everything in our old man and in our culture. Our old man and culture want comfort and security more than anything. God calls us to find our comfort and security in Him and not in our circumstances. This calling is only possible when we have truly surrendered to His will for our lives and when we have completely committed to setting our eyes on things above, not on things on the earth.

Recently, 6 weeks ago, I gave birth to my fifth child. What a joy my sweet Chloe is to me! But my pregnancies and postpartum recovery are not so joyous. They include lots of suffering and trials. I am sick my entire pregnancy, and then after nine months of nausea, I give birth only to feel like I am heading into a pit of anxiety and depression I can't get out of. My anxiety after birth is through the roof and I am crying up to 10 times a day... I had a dear friend come over recently and say to me: "Are you sure it's God's plan for your life to keep having children?! It's so hard for you!" I looked at her and said: "If you can find anywhere in the bible where it says that suffering and hardship are bad I will reconsider." But you can't find it. Nope. Instead you find that God uses suffering and hardship big time for our good. I enjoy those "happy go lucky" seasons just like everyone else but I know God does a lot more sanctifying through those trials and desperate times. 

I started asking myself, could Satan accuse me, like he did Job, of only praising God because things are going good? Could he say I only give thanks because I am not suffering?

"'Does Job fear God for nothing?” Satan replied. “Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. But now stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face.'" Job 1:9-11

In other words, Satan said: "Job only loves you because you have made his life comfy. If you brought great trials into his life surely his faith would be shaken and he would curse you and no longer praise you." But Satan was wrong.

Would Satan be wrong about you? If he accused you as he did Job, would his accusation be unfounded? Do you give thanks in all circumstances or do you give thanks in your preferred circumstances?

"...give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thess. 5:18

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

"...we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Rom. 5:3-5

God has a great purpose for us in calling us to rejoice in our suffering and in calling us to count our trials as joys and here is the purpose: the more we practice rejoicing in suffering and counting it all joy to fall into VARIOUS trials and the less we practice moaning, groaning, whining, complaining and worrying in the midst of suffering, the more we will grow in our faith and the more endurance, patience and hope we will have! 

As we cling to Christ in the midst of tears our faith will grow and our hope increase!

Besides, Jesus Himself suffered GREATLY! Why should we be above suffering if God Himself came and suffered? 


"He, for the joy [of obtaining the prize] that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Heb. 12:2

"During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him." Heb. 5:7-9

Christ's life was filled with persecution, abandonment, homelessness and great physical suffering. Notice how it says He endured the cross for the joy set before Him! It doesn't say He enjoyed the cross because He liked to suffer. No. He endured it because of what the cross meant. The cross and His suffering, meant YOUR salvation! His suffering meant hope for all mankind!

You and I are called to endure, to count it all joy and to rejoice in suffering, not because of the suffering itself but because of what the suffering produces. God accomplishes great things in suffering that never come out of joyful/easy/comfortable times, seasons and circumstances.

If you want a truly happy life, one that is happy in all seasons of life, learn to suffer well. Whatever suffering you are experiencing today, or in this season of life, remember to rejoice, to count it all joy and to endure it because you trust in the God Who is going to bring mighty things out of it. Your suffering will bring endurance, character, hope, maturity and perseverance and that is worth rejoicing in!

Talking to Myself 40 Years From Now

Life goes fast. Children grow up fast. That's what everyone says... every.one. And yet days can go by so slow and I can take this time for granted...

Sometimes you'll hear people talk about going back and talking to their younger self and what they would say and how they would instruct them... Sometimes I picture my older self talking to me now... What would I say? How would I instruct me? I'm guessing it would look something like this:

"Put your phone down."

"Close your computer."

"Go outside with the kids."

"Enjoy your children! Play with them more. Hug them more. Read to them more."

"Turn around and look Johnny in the eyes when he is talking to you."

"Hold Chloe close. She will only be this small for a few months of her life."

"Be understanding with Ricky. He's sensitive and needs you to be gentle."

"Watch Charis. Take mental pictures of her at this age. She is so cute and fun and will never be two again!"

"Encourage Rhea. Play another UNO game with her. I know you hate that game but she loves it and it means a lot to her."

"Sigh less and sing more."

"Help your husband. You are first called to be his helper. Don't ever treat him as an inconvenience. Helping him is your main calling."

"Don't nit pick but be picky about your battles with your husband. Make being married to you an enjoyable experience."

"Bite your tongue."

"Speak kindly."

"Remember, you set the tone for the home. Choose joy. Choose love. Deny yourself. Your children will look back and remember you as a joyful mama rather than a bitter, grumpy one."

"It's not that big of a deal." (whatever I'm making a big deal out of usually isn't).

"Exalt Christ in your day to day life. Don't look for 'big spiritual opportunities' to shine for Him. It is in the everyday that He is glorified the most."

"Show your children what it means to love God. Read His Word more and people's words less."

"Smile more."

"Pray more."

"Love more."

Father, help me to take my own advice. Help me to fully embrace and enjoy this season I am in RIGHT NOW. Help me to not take all of this for granted.

How about you? What do you think your future self would say to your current self?

Our Current Morning Routine

What do your mornings look like?

How our mornings go will often determine if we will have a productive day or not.

Our mornings used to be very loosey-goosey. We would get up lounge around, eat breakfast (at different times), I would sip on coffee, read my bible and then play on the computer (by play I mean check facebook and read blogs), the kids would run around playing... no one got dressed... no chores got done and by 11 a.m. I was feeling overwhelmed and like I "can't get it all done!"

"There are fewer interruptions in the mornings" I thought. "Why don't we do as much as we can then so that I don't feel like pulling my hair out in the afternoon/evening when numerous interruptions come up?!" So I did. I made a SIMPLE routine for us that works FOR NOW. I say "for now" because I am sure it will change/be added to as the months go on. For now, I have five kids seven and under with a newborn and so this is the morning routine that works currently.

Wake up (usually around 8)

Eat breakfast-All of us together. Usually something simple like peanut butter toast. Do bible study around the table, usually led by Daddy. 

After breakfast the kids put their dishes in the sink and empty the dishwasher.
 
When the dishwasher is emptied Johnny (age 4) makes the kids' beds and gets dressed. Rhea (age 7) picks up the room (including putting her clothes away), gets dressed and brushes her hair. Ricky (age 6) picks up the room as well, putting his clothes away and gets dressed. I am usually cleaning the kitchen and loading the dishwasher while they do this.

Then, we all head downstairs for homeschooling. This is usually around 9:30 or so. Much better than trying to start schooling at 11!

Ricky is currently doing 2-4 pages in his workbooks (I use ACE curriculum for Ricky and Rhea and LOVE it) and Rhea is doing 4-6 pages in her workbooks (she is about to finish up her second grade curriculum and start third! In the middle of January! Another thing I love about homeschooling is the ability to go at your child's pace). Johnny (age 4) and I do some preschool work while Charis runs around and does cute stuff.

That's it. Pretty simple, but efficient.

After schoolwork Ricky and Rhea do their piano work, we eat lunch, finish up chores (cleaning living room, kitchen, laundry) and then they have free time/PE outside.

How about you? What is your morning routine? Any tips for moms with lots of littles?

The Stay At Home Mom Who Doesn't Stay Home

I have often heard that stay at home moms get a hard time for "just staying at home." But I would say most of us stay at home moms aren't really staying at home very much. It seems now we are busier than ever and our homes are not what they should be. We also have these crazy things called automobiles and automobiles bring a lot more temptations and possibilities out there to make us want to venture outside our four walls often... probably more often than we should.

First I would like to give a disclaimer. There is nothing wrong with going places, going out with friends, shopping etc. The problem is, for many stay at home moms, home is no longer where they are spending most of their time. Our homes are losing out because our hearts are wandering and longing for more than "just keeping the home." I believe God will guide you and convict you. It is of utmost importance that we are sensitive to the Spirit's leading in this and that we stay home more if that is what He wants of us.

I am finding that my desire to leave home is decreasing greatly with each child. Homeschooling, laundry, keeping the home, playing with my children, praying with them, training them, cooking... all these things take lots of time and even more so as God adds more children to our family.

In many ways stay at home moms can become busybodies, but not busy in their homes as the Lord would want. This verse, talking about women, describes perfectly what I am saying: "Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to." (1 Tim. 5:13) Some of us "stay at home" moms are in the habit of being idle and going from house to house... or store to store... or event after event.

There are always things out there to distract us from our homes ladies! Be on guard. Be aware. Pray and ask the Lord how He would have you spend your time. How would God say we are doing in our "employment" as stay at home moms? Are we treating it as our profession and making it a priority or do we look for ways to "get out of work?" I know when I am "out and about", even for just one day, that I get behind. But when I purpose to stay home and focus on the tasks at hand I find I am able to keep my head above water.
One practical way to limit outings is to be picky and purposeful in what you and your children do outside the home. Some families spend way more time outside the four walls of their house than in their house. Our homes should be a place of refuge and togetherness, not just a place we land to go to sleep.

Scott and I are not doing any sports right now with the children and I think that helps with our time together at home. Homeschooling obviously contributes greatly to me staying at home. Shopping once a week rather than multiple times a week helps too.

You can also be at home and not really be AT HOME. When you are on the phone it's as if you aren't there. To me, to be "at home" means to be completely available to your home and the people in it. When we are on facebook or blogging our minds are distracted as well. It takes intention not only to be physically at home but emotionally too!

A true "stay at home mom" sees the home as her primary place of influence. She invests in it and her family more than anything or anyone else. God is able to give us great contentment in our homes if we seek it because He desires for us to be "keepers of them" (Titus 2:5) and as we obey Him with a cheerful and thankful heart, contentment will follow.

"Father, I know Your Word calls me to manage my home, to be busy there and to keep it well. Please remind me of these truths when my heart and mind are tempted to wander and covet what others do. Stir in me a greater desire to be at home and enjoy this sphere of influence You have called me to! Thank you for the privilege of being a stay at home mom. I pray I would grow to appreciate it more and more each day. Help me to never be like the woman in Proverbs 7:11 which says: 'She is loud and wayward; her feet do not stay at home...' Remind me of the benefits of my feet staying at home."

My Second Homebirth

I did it again. I can't believe it. Up to the last week before I had my second homebirth I was contemplating how great it would be to get an epidural... My little loves due date came and went. November 30th my baby was due and I kept saying: "plan for December 6th". Well, guess what? My little baby girl, Chloe Marie, was born on December 6th at 12:05 a.m.!

It was a Friday. My day began with story time at the library. Me, my sister and her kids and my four littles walked over to the library across the street at 10 a.m. and participated in story time/craft time. On the walk home with my sister I said: "Man, sorry I'm walking so slow these contractions are holding me up." They didn't feel like "real labor" contractions... but they were enough to make me want to walk slow.

The rest of daylight was pretty uneventful. Minor contractions when I moved around a lot, but nothing consistent....UNTIL about 5 p.m. I was making the kids some food and pausing for contractions. I told Scott: "Hmmm, these ones feel different..." His excited response: "Well, is it the real deal?!" Me: "Nah, I doubt it." He went to the gym. I texted him and said: "I think we are going to have to cancel dinner with that family...I might go into labor tonight!" He wrote them and they were understanding :)

At about 6 p.m. I called my inlaws and asked them to take the kids. I was starting to think "tonight's the night" but still afraid to completely admit it. Scott took the kids to his parents house and I vacuumed :)

At about 8 p.m. I still "wasn't sure"... why do I do that?! I just don't want to get my hopes up I guess.

I started singing during my contractions (something I used to make fun of). Here is a video of me singing to my sweet Chloe out of the womb the same song I sang to her during labor. The verse of this song was perfect because it takes about 45 seconds to sing and that's how long my contractions were and besides that I love that song, it ALWAYS ministers to me.

Scott would come in and be like: "This is it right?!" Finally, around 9 p.m., I said "Yep! My water just broke!" At the peak of one of my contractions I felt this crazy POP and my water broke. I texted my midwives and let them know and told them I would text them when things got crazy... but they decided to come anyway (and I'm glad they did!). They arrived at about 9:30 p.m.

Daddy got to hold her right after they cut the cord.

a picture of me holding Chloe moments after birth.

First picture of all five children together.

I continued to sing through contractions and labored in my bed in the dark. It was peaceful. At about 10:30 p.m. I decided it was time to get in the tub (which is code for: "I can't handle these contractions anymore without the warm water!"). I got in and felt immediate relief. In my first homebirth with Charis I didn't say one word to my midwives the whole labor... I think because I was in such shock with how terrible it was... it was my first full natural birth (I labored 12 hours with Rhea with no epidural but the labor overall was 18 hours). With Chloe's birth though I knew what I was in for and I talked to my midwives in between contractions asking: "What do I need to do to get this going faster?" They told me the more that I got out and walked around the better. They also told me to sit on the toilet backwards and rest my head on a pillow on the back of the toilet...ay-yi-yi... ouchie...hurt...pain... you get the point. Those contractions threw me into throwing up mode and made my whole body shake. Not fun, but they made things go faster. Mission accomplished.

At about 11:45 p.m. I was ready to start pushing. I expected it to go EXACTLY like it did with Charis (Don't do that with birth... ever, ever, ever...just like children, each one is unique and different). It felt like I was pushing against a brick wall... like something was blocking her... the midwives thought maybe her arm was positioned above her head... not sure. It was WAY more painful than my pushing was with Charis. My midwives were champs and helped me all along the way and little Chloe bug entered the world at 12:05 a.m. on December 6th! She actually came out and didn't breathe for a bit so one of my midwives did mouth to mouth on her a couple of times and she perked right up. One of my very favorite things about homebirth is the lack of chaos... the calm... the flow... I have a feeling if I were in the hospital there would have been major panic.

I got to hold her for quite a while (lost track of time) until they cut the cord (another thing I love about homebirth is how long they leave the cord attached!). Afterwards I got to get in my own shower and go to my bedroom where they weighed and measured her (8 lbs 12oz, 20 in.) and I got to go to bed IN MY OWN BED!

Birth isn't fun. But since it is inevitable when having a baby I will choose to have them at home :)

Are You a Martha or Mary During Christmas Time?

Read with me the classic story of Mary and Martha and ask yourself who you are more like during Christmas time (verses in italics):

"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him."

Martha often gets a bad wrap. But this verse gives the first insight into why we shouldn’t think too poorly of Martha. She opened her home. She was practicing hospitality which is actually commanded in the New Testament. She was also a servant. But some let their gift of service become a source of irritation for them rather than a gift for others which we will see Martha demonstrate in a couple verses. Do you serve but find you are often irritated with the "burden" of it?....

^"She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said."

Imagine Jesus is coming to your house. Kind of a big deal right? The Savior of the world coming to eat at YOUR house?! You would probably appreciate a little help right? Nowimagine your sister comes over and just plops herself down in front of Jesus feet while you are trying to serve and make food for everyone, including Mary!

"But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made." (Let’s pause there). This part of the verse is the main reason I chose this passage. The ESV says: But Martha was distracted with much serving. Anything strike you as peculiar about that?  She was distracted with SERVING. Seems like a pretty good thing to be distracted with if you ask me. I would like for you to ponder what distracts you from time with the Lord? What keeps you out of His Word? Are there even some good things you can think of that maybe aren’t the best things? Are there some obviously bad or not beneficial things that distract you that you can easily get rid of? What distracts you during this holiday season? The very season that is supposed to be all about Christ...

This word for distracted is perispao in the greek and it means: to draw around, to draw away, to be driven about mentally, to be over-occupied, too busy, about a thing. I love that definition! Something fascinating about this word too is that this is the only place it is used in the bible! Let’s look at that definition again: to draw around, to draw away, distract to be driven about mentally, to be over-occupied, too busy, about a thing.

Our minds are so full they distract us from God’s true purpose for us. It’s like our thoughts are driving us around distracting us from Him. The last part of the definition is “over occupied and too busy”. That pretty much describes everyone. It takes great intention to not over occupy ourselves or be too busy. Especially now a days. 1 Thess. 4:11 says to "make it our ambition to lead a quiet life and mind our own business"… I have a feeling that if we did make this our ambition our lives would be much less complicated and distracting.

Let’s continue with verse 40. “She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” Not sure I have words for this one. How can you use the word Lord and “tell her” in the same quote? Martha is clearly what we call a Type A personality. Focused and determined and bossy or maybe even controlling. Some may relate to Martha more than others. She seems to be focused more on the physical than the spiritual and she also pictures the opposite of that gentle and quiet spirit. Does your family see you like this during Christmas? Let’s see how the Lord responds in verse 41:

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

This is how the Lord would respond to us as well. I can just picture Him saying to me Katie, Katie you are worried and upset about many things…. During the holidays it seems we become even more worried and upset about MANY things. Jesus probably doesn’t care about most of those things that are distracting us. He is probably calling us away from those things and convicting us to choose the better thing. He says there are a few things needed, indeed only one and that Mary chose what was better. She chose Christ. The question is are we doing that? In the midst of much planning and organizing and hosting and cooking and prepping and crafting and decorating and shopping are we choosing, moment by moment, the better thing? Are we distracted from the world and looking to Christ or are we distracted like Martha and looking to things that draw us away from Christ?

In the midst of holidays it is good for us to remember Col. 3:1-2 which exhorts us to “keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth…”

Practice sitting at the feet of Christ like Mary by setting your minds on things above the temporary things of this earth. When we practice Col. 3:1-2 we are choosing the better thing. We are choosing Christ. In the commotion of this time of year I hope you will remember what I have shared and ask the Lord through out your days if you are being more of a Martha or a Mary.

My First THM Pregnancy

I have some pretty difficult pregnancies because I struggle with what is called hyperemesis which is a fancy word for terrible, all day, "morning" sickness. With my first three I was so sick I was hospitalized with ivs because I was throwing up, on average,  12 times a day. Because of this we decided to stop at three... and then we reversed our decision and I was filled with anxiety and excitement when I got pregnant.

My pregnancies are manageable through two things: zofran (a chemo patient drug that helps chemo patients with nausea) and FOOD. I eat up to three bananas a night throughout the night to fight off nausea and I have to eat with my eyes closed and no movement to keep myself from throwing up. I have to lay in bed eating until I feel the nausea has subsided enough that I won't start throwing up and then I make my way to the recliner where I spend the next few hours eating and waiting. I am not usually able to move until about noon. My days, for the first 20 weeks or so, consist of constant eating and laying around which is a perfect combo for gaining lots of weight fast.

With my first "reversal pregnancy" I gained 60 pounds, which was average for me. I lost it all before getting pregnant again but I was still overweight. I started my second reversal pregnancy at the same starting weight that I had started my first reversal pregnancy. I wanted to try out Trim Healthy Mama (THM) but I was finding it nearly impossible to keep anything down except bananas and other simple carbs. I gained 20 pounds in five weeks and was pretty discouraged. As my nausea subsided, around 20 weeks, I began to incorporate THM snacks and meals into my diet. It started getting easier as time went on and by 30 weeks I was doing mostly THM with a few crossovers a day (like combining 2% greek yogurt with cottage cheese and berries and not keeping track of the fat, protein and carb count or like having an apple with peanut butter or bananas as needed for nausea). Even with all those crossovers I only gained 10 pounds the rest of the time!!! I can't believe it! THM helped to cut my weight gain in half! I am 3 days past my due date and I have gained 30 pounds total! Hopefully this encourages those of you who are like me and can't stomach much meat/high protein meals during those highly nauseating months. You can just start a THM lifestyle when possible and still fin dit helps a lot!

I am so looking forward to continuing THM afterwards and hopefully getting well below my pre-pregnancy weight. My pre-pregnancy weight was still about 50 lbs overweight... so I have a ways to go.

I should also mention that for the last three months of my pregnancy I have been doing 30 minutes of moderate cardio (on our elliptical machine) 4-5 times a week. 

Some of my favorite/go-to THM meals and snacks are:

Snacks:
*slice of turkey wrapped around a piece of string cheese (fp).
*romaine lettuce leaf with a smidge of ranch and slice of turkery wrapped up. (fp).
*chocolate peanut butter squares-taste kind of like butterfingers. (s)
*Different variations of MIMs (muffin in a mug). (s)

Dinner:
*Chicken breast-that I cook at low heat (300 degrees) with chunks of onion, garlic salt, drizzled with olive oil and after cooked I top with a low carb marinara sauce and thick sliced Parmesan cheese. (s)
*Salad with bacon, chicken, parmasan, a few tomatoes, and "guacomole ranch". (s)
*The pizza made with cauliflower crust. (s)
*Broccoli and cauliflower au gratin. (s)
*Chocolate peanut butter "frosty". I put almond milk in my ice cube trays. I use about 6 or 7 almond cubes, a cup of almond milk, a tablespoon of dark unsweetened cocoa, 2 tbsp of chia seed, stevia to taste, a scoop of protein powder, a 1/4-1/2 cup of cottage cheese, 1 tbsp all natural pb, cinnamon and a 1/2 tsp of gluco. (s)
*Salmon with a side of sauteed cabbage and/or zucchini. (s)

Lunch:
*usually the same as my dinner meals. Although I often have eggs and bacon :) Yes... I am too heavy on the s meals and working on liking the e meals more... just like everyone else :)

Here is a picture of me at 38 weeks pregnant.

Breakfast:
*Peanut butter oatmeal (this is one of my crossovers) with almond milk. You can use PB2 though and have it be an E meal. Click here to see where I get mine.
*Almost every morning I have 1/2 cup fat free of greek yogurt with 1/2 cup cottage cheese,  2 tbsp of slim belly jelly (recipe in book) and 1/2 cup raspberries.
*Pancakes! (with pb or sugar free syrup)

Dessert:
*The skinny chocolate pb bars I mentioned earlier. (s)
*different variations of low carb cheesecake. (s) 
*Variations of the chocolate shake I make sometimes for a meal. (s)

Now I know that sounds way simple... and pretty boring, but I like it that way. I do eat some other things but these are the most common things that I eat. I am not one who has to have a lot of different meal options, but when I do desire something new there are PLENTY of recipes online! If you need a place for recipe ideas check this out!