Loving My Man

If you have known me long enough you have heard me talk about my favorite book (after the bible of course). It is called: Created to be His Helpmeet. It has helped me greatly to know practical ways that I can bless and honor my husband and in that my God! Our Lord calls us to reverence and respect our husbands as unto to Him. We do it not for ourselves nor for our husbands, but for our Father in heaven.

My husband is what the book refers to as a command man. He is one hundred percent command man (the other two types are visionary and steady). He is an AWESOME leader, confident and constant. I loved being able to read about ways that MY husband best receives love and respect. Please read the rest of the article to find out about your husband. It will benefit your marriage greatly.

Why is it important for us to know our men? Because we are created to be helpers. We need to know how we can best help/serve our spouses. The woman was created for man, not man for woman. Once we get married it is important for us to ADAPT to our husbands the best we can so that we can fulfill our purpose. Once we seek to do this we will begin to see the fruit of it in our marriage.

It is much easier for a man to love his wife if she is submissive and encouraging. If we are nagging and stubborn we are asking for a cold, non-affectionate husband. 1 Peter 3 says that our husbands are to be obeyed no matter what (of course this does not include cases of abuse or if they are asking us to sin). It goes on to say that our husbands can be "won over" not by words (nagging, griping etc.) BUT by our actions.

Be encouraged ladies. God has a great marriage for you as you seek to be the wife He calls you to be. Not by the world's standards but by His!

Reactions Define You

If you have been around me long enough you will have heard me say: "reactions define you." So true. Anyone can "keep their cool" when things are good. It's when there is poop on the walls, the littlest one won't stop crying and your two year old loves to say no to you that the real you in revealed.

I am not patient. God is working on me greatly to respond with gentle calmness in my voice no matter the circumstances. We should not let our surroundings decide how we are going to respond. Our responses flow from our heart. If we are in the Word and meditating on it day and night our response will be one of maturity and joy.

I am working on this when I am disciplining Rhea. I have to make sure she is not affecting me and I prove that with my tone of voice. Our tone says A LOT.

I found this quote:

Seeking to be happy

The whole world wants to be happy. Don't we? Unfortunately we seek for it in the wrong places. God says happy are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be satisfied. God gives all sorts of recipes for happiness in His Word. Like this one from Psalm 40:

"Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man who makes the Lord his refuge and trust, and turns not to the proud or to followers of false gods."

If we seek to be happy we should really seek the Lord. In Him alone is true joy. I love how this verse says that the happy person (blessed) will not turn to the proud or to those who follow false gods. Another way to say this is: "those who do not turn to the world and those who belong to the world."

In the amplified bible whenever the word blessed is used it gives the three words: happy, fortunate and envied. Check out biblegateway.com some time and type in the word blessed (using the amplified version). Look to God's Word for how you can be happy, not the world's words.

A few ways for me to be happy today:

Be in the Word

Be submissive and loving toward my husband

Teach and guide my children with love and joy

Listen to Godly things like sermons

Work diligently at beautifying my home

Think on what is pure, lovely, etc.

Focusing on our future with the Lord (listen to this sermon)

What are some ways you can be happy today?

Here are some things that will steal my happiness:

Focus on self

Too much time on internet

Thinking on worldly things

Letting my house get messy

Not loving my children and husband with patience

Staying out of God's Word

Worrying about tomorrow

Only the Lord can make us truly happy.

What I want to teach my children

When children go to school the emphasis is for the most part academic. I don't know about you but I would guess out of the hundreds of hours I spent at a public school the things I learned are rarely used. (Another reason to homeschool). Reading is the exception. I definitely want to teach my children to read as well as to have a passion for reading. I am obviously not saying that there is no place for academics. There is. However we should focus on character and life skills. I think one of the best life skills we can teach our children is for them to know how to teach themselves.

Here are some things my husband and I want to emphasize and really seek to engrain into our children:

contentment

mow lawn (my husband's idea :0)

purity

honesty

servanthood

joy despite circumstances

loving the unlovable

a deep, personal, genuine love for God and His Word

Just to name a few. These are things that will definitely be used everyday for the rest of their lives (with the exception of the second one!) These are things I wish I would have been taught as early as possible.

It's important that we keep in mind our children will most likely be parents and spouses some day. What kind of qualities do we want them to bring to motherhood/fatherhood and marriage?

Most importantly we need to be MODELING these things in our lives. Remember, doing is a much better teaching tool then telling. Nobody likes a hypocrite. It's hard to learn anything from a hypocrite... except how to be a hypocrite!

What do you want to teach your children?

The Heart IS the Matter

"Stopping the action does not cure the problem." -Britt Merrick. So true. The heart is the matter. Not the action. If you get an alcoholic to stop drinking it doesn't mean they don't crave alcohol. If you get someone to stop yelling it doesn't mean they don't struggle with anger. Jesus told the pharisees they were like white washed tombs, pretty on the outside and dead on the inside. Jesus sees our hearts. He knows if we are pure or just carrying out the actions, (that's called religion). We have a Lord that wants us to transfer these passions to Him. Leave them at the cross. Don't we all long for that? For our worldly lusts to be transformed into a deep love for our Creator? We need a heart a transplant, not just a change of action. (Although a change of action is good too).

Please listen to this sermon. It encouraged me greatly to not just DO the right thing but to seek something greater: a pure heart.

Pride vs. Humility

My best friend Chelsey is getting her masters at Masters college in biblical counseling. She has been sharing some great nuggets of truth with me. She recently sent me the notes pasted below on pride. Jesus is the picture of humility. Laying down His life for all. Oh Lord, please help me to be more like Your Son and less like myself...

Manifestations of Pride

Complaining against or passing judgment on God (Numbers 14:1-4, 9, 11; Romans 9:20)

A lack of gratitude (2 Chronicles 32:25) (because you think you deserved that act of kindness) (pride doesn't see that you deserve hell and anything above hell is a blessing)

Anger (Proverbs 28:25; Matthew 20:1-16) (a tip off of pride - something im wanting Im not getting... someone damaged my reputation... someone isnt meeting my needs... its about ME)

Seeing yourself as better than others (Luke 7:36-50)

Having an inflated view of your importance, gifts and abilities (Acts 12:21-23)

Being focused on the lack of your gifts and abilities (1 Cor. 12:14-25) (SELF FOCUSED)

Perfectionism (Matthew 23:24-28) (because someone excels in one or two areas... and they are not faithful in the rest of the areas... they want some sort of recognition... no one puts that much time and effort into something without wanting recognition) (God calls us to faithfulness, not perfection!!!!)

Talking too much (Proverbs 10:19) (when your not forced to speak - why are you still talking??? - what is your motive?)

Talking too much about yourself (Proverbs 27:2; Galatians 6:3)

Seeking independence or control (1 Corinthians 1:10-13; Ephesians 5:21) (you were not made to be independent, but dependent upon God and interdependent on others)

Being consumed with what others think (Galatians 1:10) (approval - fear of man!)

Being devastated or angered by criticism (Proverbs 13:1) (You had such a high view of yourself that when someone doesn't agree -- you shut down!)

Being unteachable (Proverbs 19:20; John 9:13-34)

Being sarcastic, hurtful, degrading, talking down to them(Proverbs 12:18, 24) (laughing about someone else - so that you feel better about yourself)

A lack of service (Galatians 5:13, Ephesians 2:10)

A lack of compassion (Matthew 5:7, 18:23-35)

Being defensive or blame-shifting (Genesis 3:12-13; Proverbs 12:1) (thinking you couldn't have possibly done something wrong)

A lack of admitting when you are wrong (Proverbs 10:17)

A lack of asking forgiveness (Matthew 5:23-24)

A lack of biblical prayer (Luke 18:10-14)

Resisting authority or being disrespectful (1 Peter 2:13-17)

Voicing preferences or opinions when not asked (Philippians 2:1-4) (You want others to know what you prefer) (keep your preferences to yourself! - think of others)

Minimizing your own sin and shortcomings (Matthew 7:3-5)

Maximizing others’ sin and shortcomings (Matthew 7:3-5; Luke 18:9-14)

Being impatient or irritable with others (Ephesians 4:31-32) (no one is on my schedule)

Being jealous or envious (1 Corinthians 13:4) ( I should have that... I deserve this)

Using others (Matthew 7:12; Philippians 2:3-4) (just a means to an end)

Being deceitful by covering up sins, faults, and mistakes (Proverbs 11:3; 28:13) (not being quick to ask for forgiveness) (you don't have to constantly talk about your faults - but you must be quick to repent!)

Using attention-getting tactics (1 Peter 3:3,4)

Not having close relationships (Proverbs 18:1-2; Hebrews 10:24-25)

Adoption

I was very sick this morning. Identical to how I feel when pregnant. It sobered me greatly. (I am not pregnant. took two tests) Watching my children, keeping a home and being a good wife go out the window when I am pregnant. I started contemplating adoption (I have thought of adoption since I was a little girl). So many children out there with no one to call mom or dad.

There are over 100,000 orphans just within America! Waiting to be invited into someone's home.

The Lord knows the future for our family. I pray that some day we will adopt children so we can love them with His love.

Here are a few sites with good info and videos!

heart for orphans

orphan facts

One of Steven Curtis Chapman's daughters talks about "hidden treasures"

Thousands of pics of orphans in America

Family Testimonies