Why We Don't Live Within Our Means

We don't live within our means. Let me explain. We could be spending a lot more money than we do. Our means, the amount in our savings, says: "go ahead and live a little" but in my husband's wisdom he admonishes us as a family to save more rather than spend more. Future generations will reap what we sow.  

We have plenty of money in savings because we:

1. Don't go out to eat more than once a month and we pretty much never go out to coffee.
2. Plan very few trips. In fact, we hardly leave our house. I had been looking for a particular sippy cup for weeks. I went out to the van and saw it was there! Guess it had been a while since we had gone anywhere :) Going places usually means spending money even if it's only on gas. I must admit that we have more freedom in this because we live downtown, next to our church and next to family. 
3. Rarely buy new clothing.
4.Only get one nice gift for the kids on their birthday. (What a waste so many toys can be!)
5.Paid off our mortgage! Talk about making it easier to save money! 
6.We really try not to waste food.... or anything for that matter.

Here is a link with more of our tips on saving!

You see, just because you have the money to go on more trips, buy more toys, go out to dinner often, purchase new clothes etc. doesn't mean you have to. Don't spend money just because you have it. Buy what you NEED not what you WANT and then later in life you can buy what you want not just what you need without the guilt!

Too many are living outside of their means in the other direction. They spend money they don't have and wonder why they are constantly struggling financially. I have also seen people get out of debt and then think that gives them the liberty to spend their money anyway they please only to find themselves in debt again or living paycheck to paycheck.

My husband recently is fulfilling one of his dreams to publish a book! We are all very excited and it has been such a joy to be able to invest in this dream of his without having to worry about the money we are putting into it because we have plenty saved up. Another huge benefit of living like this is we are better able to give! We can give liberally without worrying.

Please don't think we have plenty in savings because we make lots of money :) We have been single income our whole marriage and my husband went from being a public school teacher to a pastor... neither career is known for it's high income :) 

Not sure how to live within a budget?! Dave Ramsey can help! Click here. 

Lastly, every human should watch this. It cracks me up and it's so true! :) 

So save up your money and then save more!

Is Wearing A Headcovering Distracting?

Our church recently had a modesty class for ladies Sunday School in which the associate pastor's wife and I taught. We got both extremes in feedback. Some women loved it and thanked us and others.... not so much.

One thing we discussed was how modesty goes beyond just dressing sexually. It's a much bigger issue than just worrying about men lusting after you. We can be immodest in our behavior, our hearts, our home decorating and most importantly in our hearts. One way we can be immodest is in being distracting by wearing flashy things that draw attention to us.

"I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes..." 1 Timothy 2:9

I think that is what Paul is getting at in this passage. I think we can be immodest by spending an unreasonable amount of time on our looks and wearing things that are elaborate or "over the top".
One of the things we tried to major on in this modesty class was that each person needed to search their own hearts and look for areas of pride in their relationship to modesty. But unfortunately, when you talk to ladies about modesty and clothing we struggle with "keeping our eyes on our own page". We struggle with truly praying for the Lord to help us in our own lives without worrying about what others are or aren't wearing.

I have had a couple women now (one right after this modesty class) tell me: "Your headcovering is very distracting." Ouch. My response to the second woman was: "It wouldn't be such a distraction if more women in the church would obey the bible." Um... did that just come out of my mouth?! :) It is how I feel though.

It seems clear to me that the main reason so many women don't wear headcoverings to public worship is because so many women don't wear headcoverings to public worship. There is safety in numbers. People will often justify things and it is even more tempting to do so if some of "the most godly women" you know don't wear one. 

Please search the scriptures and your hearts for yourselves and see what His Word says about wearing a symbol of authority on your head.

Be sure to check out this new sermon series I found on headcoverings! You will have to scroll down a bit to get to the actual sermons. Also if you haven't seen my other posts be sure to check them out here and here.

Why Back To The Future Made Me Want More Kids

Who remembers the scene in Back to the Future when Marty McFly's siblings started disappearing out of a photo? (I couldn't find the actual scene but I did find someone showing the photo) I didn't realize when I first watched it as a kid what impact that scene would have on me as a grown adult/mommy.

After three very difficult, sick pregnancies Scott and I decided (mostly after me nagging him to death) that it would be best for us to stop having children and look into adoption instead. So a few short months after our third baby was born Scott had a vasectomy. 

A few months after the surgery this scene from Back to the Future popped into my mind... oh how I tried to forget it... but I couldn't... I just kept thinking of the children that were being erased out of our family photo because of our decision. 

Here's the good news: By God’s grace this decision was ‘reversible’ for us. Sadly for others, that hasn’t been the case. So after much prayer and support from our wonderful church, Scott went ahead and had a reversal! 

About 5 months later I found out we were pregnant again!!! We were both so joy-filled and yet I was also so scared. My pregnancies were terrible, even landing me in the hospital because of dehydration from constant puking. I was resolved though to trust God and research more on how to combat hyperemesis. 

I have had much success improving my pregnancies!!! We are now in the middle of my third reversal pregnancy. I can't believe we almost missed out on having our sweet Carebear (Charis), Chloebug (Chloe) and now little Noah. We almost missed out on three wonderful gifts and hopefully more to come!

Last night we received some wonderful family photos that we had taken about a week ago and I couldn't help but think back to that scene again in Back to the Future. Praise God Scott and I have our arms full (and my womb full) in this picture.

Being Someone You're Not For The Sake of Your Marriage

Do you ever feel like you have to be someone you're not in order to have a good marriage? That's ok! In fact, I would say, that is a good place to be!

The less I am "myself" the better my marriage goes and therefore, the better my life goes. Myself wants to dominate and control. Myself wants things my way. Myself wants to put forth the least effort and fully give into my flesh. Who I am in Christ however, who I am when I die to self, wants to give the other person their way, wants to submit to my husband in all things (Eph. 5:24) and fully give myself over to the Spirit.

Our marriage should constitute (after our relationship with Christ), the most important relationship in our lives. What are you willing to give up for that relationship? What are you willing to sacrifice? Hopefully we are willing to sacrifice our wants, wishes and desires in order to have the best marriage possible.

Now, before you start throwing tomatoes at your computer screen let me explain. "You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." 1 Cor. 6:19-20. Did you catch that? You aren't yours. You don't belong to you anymore if you are a follower of Christ. You belong to Him and He calls you to adapt to your husband. He calls you to submit or put yourself under him and that is going to call for a major, difficult changes for most of us... I would dare say, for all of us. 

Many of us wives spend so much time worrying about what our husbands aren't or are doing that we lose track of what God has called us to do!

Now maybe you have a super passive man and you don't feel this as much. But in some ways I bet you have to work super hard (not be yourself) and let him lead how he wants (which might look like not leading) and deny your desire to control. Or maybe you are married to a visionary man that has you on a constant roller coaster ride, learn to enjoy the ride. Learn to let go and be someone you're not in order to support your man in a way that seems so foreign and scary to you. Remember, your job is not to make sure your man is doing everything right, your job is to be obedient, respectful and submissive... you better believe that calls us women to be someone we aren't :) Maybe you are married to an organized, leader-type and efficient man like me and you are anything but organized and efficient. Maybe you feel like me and that you have had to be someone you aren't in order to bring the most peace and joy into your home... and that's ok! God calls us to a life of self-denial. Every Christian has to be someone they aren't in different ways in order to bring the most glory to God. 


Now hopefully you picked a godly man to share life with that will also experience this push to be someone he isn't in order to love you as Christ loves the church. But if you didn't, that doesn't get you off the hook for doing your part when it comes to obeying God and His calling on your life as a wife.

Proverbs 12:16 says: "A fool’s wrath is known at once, But a prudent man covers shame." Some of us wives are acting as fools letting our wrath and whatever else we are feeling be known at once because we believe in fully being ourselves! But the verse goes on to say a prudent man or in our case, a wise wife, covers shame. The word here in greek means to hide or conceal. Sometimes the best thing for us to do, the wisest thing for us to do, is hide or conceal ourselves. Be someone we aren't. The most miserable wives are the ones who refuse to hide or conceal or deny. The most miserable wives are the ones who are so busy fighting for their rights and being themselves that they forget the ultimate goal of marriage is to bring God glory, not themselves. 

So stop fighting against that push to be someone you aren't... instead embrace it! Claim it as if it's something you want because you know that in the long run it will make for a more peaceful home and marriage and therefore life!

Fighting Hyperemesis for the Sixth Time

When I found out I was pregnant this time I must admit that I wasn't afraid because I thought I had found the answer to my extreme morning sickness issues: a low carb diet. I was so hopeful and excited! I had been doing it faithfully for about a month before I got pregnant and continued into my pregnancy. At 5 weeks I still had not thrown up or felt extreme nausea (just minor nausea if I hadn't eaten) and I was feeling pretty confident...but still afraid of that 6 week mark. That is usually when it hits pretty hardcore for me.

Lo and behold, I was 5 weeks and 6 days and sobbing in bed because it hit me like a tidal wave. I just laid there filled with disappointment and fear and sadness. All the old feelings came back from the previous five pregnancies.

Now don't get me wrong. My first three were by FAR worse. Throwing up so much I would throw up blood from my stomach lining. That hasn't happened the last three pregnancies. The part I am not sure of is: are my pregnancies improving because some women who struggle with hyperemesis get better with each pregnancy or because I am understanding hyperemesis more and more with each pregnancy? Not sure.

Here is my post from my last pregnancy on tips for morning sickness. I stand by each of those tips this time as well! I only take about 1/2-1 zofran pill a day. So that is super good. I broke the tiny pill up into quarters this time and I am so glad I did! I know there are many lawsuits out on zofran and I want to take the bare minimum.

So, guess what though?! This time, my sixth time fighting hyperemesis, I have only thrown up like 3 times and I am pretty sure that is because the stomach bug was going around our house at that time! Crazy. So what changed? Not much really. But I did one thing MORE that I think made a difference.

I rested a lot more. I STAYED IN BED EVERY MORNING UNTIL 9:30 OR 10:00. Sounds like such a simple thing but I truly believe it made all the difference. Here's the sad part. I fear that some of my hyperemesis friends don't have the luxury I have in being able to do this. My husband is able to go in later to work and just stay later at work. I have a 7 and 8 year old that are a BIG help. And I have inlaws close (about 3 doors up the street) that can help too! If you struggle with hyperemesis I HIGHLY recommend figuring something out where you can do this.

We did hire a couple young ladies from our church to come a couple mornings so that Scott could get to work. That may be an option for some of you. Do you know of a family with young ladies that could lend you a helping hand in the morning? I highly recommend having a plan BEFORE you get pregnant. Simplify your morning routine. Have your older kids understand how much life will change when you get pregnant. And stay in bed.

I would just lay there and Scott would bring me my peanut butter toast and I would suck on my apple sauce packets. Every night I fill three of these with no sugar added applesauce. I eat them through out the night when my nausea wakes me up and it's perfect because I don't have to move much to eat it... you just kind of suck it down. In the morning there is usually some left and I finish that while my husband gets me my toast. And then I lay there for 2-3 hours. I don't drink ANYTHING until after noon. Fluids make my nausea worse.

After I get out of bed I move to my recliner and "run the house" from there. With homeschooling with ACE curriculum I just assign my big kids 4 pages in each pace and then have them bring them to me when they are done to correct them. It's also good just sitting there because I am fully available for questions and teaching.

The worst of my nausea seems to be behind me already! I started feeling much better and noticing that I wasn't taking any zofran around 14 weeks. That is early for me and very exciting. Some days are better than others but I am seeing glimpses of normal. People just don't appreciate normal :)

Hyperemesis is debilitating and depressing but as my husband and I have yielded our family planning to God  I am learning to embrace it as a part of my life for a while. Some people get terribly sick and that's all they get. I get sick and get a wonderful new life added to our home. I have learned to appreciate the ability to move around and clean a house more than others who haven't experienced this form of suffering. I am thankful.

Please feel free to ask any questions in the comments. I find great joy in encouraging mamas with hyperemesis. 

Are Your Kids Doing Your Job Mama?

I have been sitting A LOT the last 7 weeks. My morning sickness started at about 6 weeks and I am 13 weeks now. It usually lets up around 17 weeks. I am so looking forward to being on my feet more and being about my normal day to day activities and chores! I hate sitting around like this. But I am thankful for something it has caused me to contemplate.

I am sure you have all heard the saying: "Good parenting is working yourself out of a job." While I get the gist of it, I don't like it overall. Here is why. It feels like I have been out of a job these last 7 weeks as I shout orders from my recliner. I feel like this lazy woman (I know, I'm not...but it FEELS that way) barking at my little servants to do... my job.

We SHOULD train our children. They SHOULD be helping us because they live at home too and should be contributing when it comes to it's upkeep. BUT I am noticing something that is happening. I feel like more and more moms are spending more and more time on their computers/i-phones and less and less time keeping the home. Which we are commanded to do.

"...encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, WORKERS AT HOME, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored." Titus 2:4-5

"So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to MANAGE THEIR HOMES and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander." 1 Timothy 5:14 

When we aren't keeping and managing the home we are allowing the word of God to be dishonored and we are allowing the enemy opportunity for slander. 
Keeping the home WELL is no joke. There are many things that can be done everyday to make our homes run more smoothly and efficiently. We as the managers and keepers of the home are deciding everyday how well our homes will run and how chaotic and messy our homes will be. 

In a day and age where we have so many conveniences (dishwasher, vacuums, washer, dryer etc.) there is really no excuse for a home to not be managed/kept well. Some of us, myself included, need to be asking: "Are my kids doing my job?" The Lord has not called our children to manage and keep the home. Yes we should be training them and it will bless them later in life if we do so, but we should never be barking orders from our sofa all day with the laptop and i-phone in front of us because we are too indulgent and selfish. If our homes are falling apart it's on our shoulders.

I will be the first to admit I have no idea what I am doing when it comes to keeping the home. My poor mother always worked full time outside the home and she never really gave any thought to training us. I am starting from scratch AND I am a very un-organzied person by nature. But I know God wants me to keep my home well and so I know He will answer my prayers to be a better at it. I pray to Him for wisdom on how to be the best keeper of the home I can be.

Don't embitter your children toward you. Don't make them question if mom is training them or just being lazy. We are called the keepers of the home and we need to live up to that title. 

I Get My Groceries Delivered AND Save Money!

I love Safeway. I like their quality. I like their options. I just don't like their prices. But here's the good news! I have figured out how to shop at Safeway, get my groceries delivered for free, get a dollar off a gallon at the gas station AND save 25-45% off my grocery bill EVERY time!

Here's how I do it.

1) Go to http://www.safeway.com/.

2) Sign up for: Just For U and for grocery delivery (you will have to sign up for both separately).

3) Go to Just For U and "clip" coupons. It doesn't get much easier than this! You just push the button "add" and it's put on to your account! Easiest couponing ever! ALWAYS look for a 20 cent gas reward coupon. This means for every $100 you spend you will get 20 cents off a gallon. (sometimes even more!) I also just saved $10 off on frozen pizzas with my just for u coupons!

4) Go to your grocery delivery account.

5) Look for the promo codes that you need. Obviously you will want the one for FREE DELIVERY. This will mean that you have to purchase at least $150 worth of groceries (which is easy for me because I shop about every 1-2 weeks) and purchase 5 items from a list. I only buy 5 items that are on sale. Look for other promo codes that apply to your shopping list. For example, I had cereal on my list. I found a promo code that said: Save $3 when you purchase three of these cereals. I looked through the list to find ones that were already on sale. That means I got three bags of cereal already on sale and then an additional dollar off each one with that promo code. All with the push of a button from my comfy chair in the living room! :)

6) Always be sure to check out the buy one get one free sales. You can't beat that.

7) Next click "online savings" and click on "club card specials". Go through your list and only buy what is on the card savings. Always check what items are per ounce to make sure you are getting the best deal. My shopping list sometimes evolves as I shop online to get the best deals. Sometimes I don't get something on my list if it's not on sale.

8) Go to checkout after you have gone through your list and accrued at least $150 worth of groceries and enter your promo codes. Then pick a delivery time. (they have only been late for me once!)

It's like a mama of five littles dream come true!! Someone does the shopping in the store for me, loads it up in the truck, brings it to my door at a time when I am ready for it! Doesn't get any better than that :)

I know some of you out there are like: "I save way more money going here, there and everywhere." It's just not worth the few dollars I might save to drive all over the place wasting more gas and time. Time is a PRICELESS thing for me right now as I am pregnant, homeschooling and keeping a home.

So whatcha think? Gonna try it out?!